Christmas Wishes

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Cucuboth

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I try not to, since I always know it leads to disappointment. But it's difficult not to wish for something for, or by, Christmas. I'm not talking about some material object. Anything like that I want I can go and get myself, at any time of the year. But each year, I always hope to have my first ever kiss by Christmas. It's not like there is any girl I can just kiss (as I've been advised to on many occasions by people who have someone to kiss). I don't have any female friends. Even going to bars and pubs, and maybe getting a drunken kiss (also suggested many times) has never worked. I've also been told to just be myself, and it will happen eventually. But it never has. And now I'm 36, only a few months away from 37, and there's no real hope that I can even experience this seemingly simple social interaction. One that would be a benefit to my self-esteem, but ... it's just something I want a chance to experience.

Maybe this is the wrong place to write this. I don't know. Many would say that I simply shouldn't hope, or even want, for something that's obviously not going to ever happen (say hello to my parents if your lining up to say that).

Sorry. I guess I just needed to vent this out.
 
Mate,

I know exactly how it feels to be in this situation (i'm only 1 year younger than yourself)

I am one of those people who feel that kissing has a much greater emotional attachment than sex itself.

I agree that it has a negative effect on self-esteem and it gets worse as you get older as at our ages most women are going to naturally expect that a guy is experienced when it comes to kissing.

I think you always have to keep hoping and never say never (well at least I am)

So I am hoping that a very special girl that I know will make my Christmas wish come true.
 
Take Mistletoe with you everywhere you go.

Maybe look for someone who wants to explore the kinky side of Krampus the Christmas devil:

[youtube]6EmqsEHl3P8[/youtube]

sexykrampus.jpg


http://barbedpentacle.com/tag/krampus/#
http://www.krampus.com/
 
Excuse me for slightly going off topic here but do you feel somehow cheated in life? I ask because you mention instructions that people have told you to follow but nothing has come of them. For me I was always told how important it was to be the good guy growing up, to work hard, to show respect, get in line and put others before yourself with the promise of good things (a good career, a house, a family etc) if I played by the rules.

I did all that and more but tonight I sit here in a homeless shelter with a can of cold beans for food and can’t help feeling somewhat cheated by my elders and peers. Where was the good life I was promised? Where are the rewards I worked so hard for? Did I somehow fail or not work hard enough? That is what hurts my self-esteem more than anything else. That somehow I’m just not good enough to win.

So I wonder if it’s the same for you gentlemen, in that not only a lack of relationship is causing anguish but the fact that promises of the past turned out to be lies.
 
Lost Drifter said:
Excuse me for slightly going off topic here but do you feel somehow cheated in life? I ask because you mention instructions that people have told you to follow but nothing has come of them. For me I was always told how important it was to be the good guy growing up, to work hard, to show respect, get in line and put others before yourself with the promise of good things (a good career, a house, a family etc) if I played by the rules.

I did all that and more but tonight I sit here in a homeless shelter with a can of cold beans for food and can’t help feeling somewhat cheated by my elders and peers. Where was the good life I was promised? Where are the rewards I worked so hard for? Did I somehow fail or not work hard enough? That is what hurts my self-esteem more than anything else. That somehow I’m just not good enough to win.

So I wonder if it’s the same for you gentlemen, in that not only a lack of relationship is causing anguish but the fact that promises of the past turned out to be lies.

I can identify with that LostDrifter - more than you realise.

I also played by the book and wonder why I ended up where I have because I didn't deserve it.

But I had a clue when my son was little and why I never read him fairytales. Sometimes I feel like I have been led up a garden path and been blagged.

You ARE good enough to win.

I know it sounds stupid but one day we all meet our maker, I don't want to take honeysuckle with me on my conscience of guilt or shame. We can't take anything else with us only a clear mind that we did our best and were good people.
 
A kiss with someone who doesn't really care about you... probably wouldn't make you feel more or less what you felt prior to this experience. A kiss is just that..if it's not with someone nice. I think it would help your self esteem if you realize that, to have been kissed or not doesn't make you a better guy. It's whats in the heart that matters.

I think it's when we have expectations...is when disappointment sets in.

I would like to say though..I hope you do find someone special who you can do that with.
 
Lost Drifter said:
Excuse me for slightly going off topic here but do you feel somehow cheated in life? I ask because you mention instructions that people have told you to follow but nothing has come of them. For me I was always told how important it was to be the good guy growing up, to work hard, to show respect, get in line and put others before yourself with the promise of good things (a good career, a house, a family etc) if I played by the rules.

I did all that and more but tonight I sit here in a homeless shelter with a can of cold beans for food and can’t help feeling somewhat cheated by my elders and peers. Where was the good life I was promised? Where are the rewards I worked so hard for? Did I somehow fail or not work hard enough? That is what hurts my self-esteem more than anything else. That somehow I’m just not good enough to win.

So I wonder if it’s the same for you gentlemen, in that not only a lack of relationship is causing anguish but the fact that promises of the past turned out to be lies.

This. I worked hard all through college, learned not just mental skills but physical ones like farming and carpentry, did everything I was supposed to and applied for my first job out of college. Over and over again, it turned out it was wasn't what I knew or how skilled I was, but whether people knew me (they didn't) or whether I was likeable (I'm not a horrible guy, I'm just shy which gets read as aloof/unfriendly). I live with my parents, and when they die, I too will end up in a homeless shelter.

I'd give up all my Xmas presents to wish for a world where the hiring process didn't operate on acceptance/rejection based on arbitrary first impressions but on mandated trial periods based on one's skill.
 
Lost Drifter said:
Excuse me for slightly going off topic here but do you feel somehow cheated in life? I ask because you mention instructions that people have told you to follow but nothing has come of them. For me I was always told how important it was to be the good guy growing up, to work hard, to show respect, get in line and put others before yourself with the promise of good things (a good career, a house, a family etc) if I played by the rules.

I did all that and more but tonight I sit here in a homeless shelter with a can of cold beans for food and can’t help feeling somewhat cheated by my elders and peers. Where was the good life I was promised? Where are the rewards I worked so hard for? Did I somehow fail or not work hard enough? That is what hurts my self-esteem more than anything else. That somehow I’m just not good enough to win.

So I wonder if it’s the same for you gentlemen, in that not only a lack of relationship is causing anguish but the fact that promises of the past turned out to be lies.

No promise that has ever been made to me has ever been kept. Not one. Well, no good promises. Plenty of bad ones have been kept though.

I do wonder why is it so hard to fit in, to find someone to connect with, to find someone who apparently isn't afraid or disgusted to touch me. Someone said to take mistletoe with you at this time of year. I did that a couple of times. It was quite scary for someone shy like me. But it didn't work just go laughed at, told not to be stupid, told to grow up. And they were the nicer responses. So at the second attempt at this, I left the mistletoe on a table, and went and sat nearby and started reading something. Another guy game along, saw the mistletoe, and within about 5 minutes he has kisses from 3 girls, and they all cooed about how sweet it was and stuff like that. And the guy was by no means all that attractive (actually he quite a bit of a gardenia). But that's what always happens. And I've never known why. Except for the fact that no girl wants to kiss me.

Now there just isn't any women around to even hope to ... well ... I just wish I could have a chance. Know what I mean?

Feeling even worse right now since I've just got home from a therapy session, with the therapist telling me that there isn't anything more therapy can do. Scratch therapist number 17 or 18 in the last 13 years. And of course, when you need someone to get a hug from, when you don't want to be alone ... you have to be.
 
Cucuboth - you have a lovely face which looks kind & you have beautiful eyes too - so can't see why anyone would either be afraid or not want to come near you.

I am always saying this, but guys please don't seal your own fate by thinking past experiences are going to repeat themselves or feel doomed by the same .
 

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