I try not to, since I always know it leads to disappointment. But it's difficult not to wish for something for, or by, Christmas. I'm not talking about some material object. Anything like that I want I can go and get myself, at any time of the year. But each year, I always hope to have my first ever kiss by Christmas. It's not like there is any girl I can just kiss (as I've been advised to on many occasions by people who have someone to kiss). I don't have any female friends. Even going to bars and pubs, and maybe getting a drunken kiss (also suggested many times) has never worked. I've also been told to just be myself, and it will happen eventually. But it never has. And now I'm 36, only a few months away from 37, and there's no real hope that I can even experience this seemingly simple social interaction. One that would be a benefit to my self-esteem, but ... it's just something I want a chance to experience.
Maybe this is the wrong place to write this. I don't know. Many would say that I simply shouldn't hope, or even want, for something that's obviously not going to ever happen (say hello to my parents if your lining up to say that).
Sorry. I guess I just needed to vent this out.
Maybe this is the wrong place to write this. I don't know. Many would say that I simply shouldn't hope, or even want, for something that's obviously not going to ever happen (say hello to my parents if your lining up to say that).
Sorry. I guess I just needed to vent this out.