Why Do People Make Assumptions That Im Bi Or Gay?

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J

JustALonelyGuy

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Okay here goes...

In my past, alot of women have made assumptions and told me to my face and said 'I think you may be gay/Bi' they agree that it is not evident in my dress and mannerisms but they calim they 'can't put thir finger on it'.

There is nothing wrong with being gay or bi in my honest opinon, but why do people bravely make these judgements and assumptions when they don't really know who I am?

Things like this have mae me confused and paranoid as to thinking I am being judged on everything I am by people making these assumptions with no real reason behind it.

Thoughts?
 
I don't really know if I can be of any help here on why they make that assumption. It does happen that I think for myself sometimes if someone might be gay or bi - usually if they dress or act in a certain way. But it is in no way me being judgemental. Just good old curiosity I guess. I would never simply assume someone is unless they had told me or I knew they were. And I would never mention it either or ask unless they told me themselves.

I think it has to be that some people are just really quick with making assumptions without any actual ground for them. I simply can't believe most people would reason that way.
 
Thanks sorandom for R & R. Much appreciatd :). Yeah it baffles me for eople make these unfair judgements against me and not even bein able to elaborate or resonate it with me. I makes me feel confused and isloated.
 
Do you listen to coldplay? Because if you do, then people might think you are gay.
 
Could be because they question their own sexuality or might be themselves so they think that of other people they meet. Could be a certain way you do something. A lot of people think my brother is gay because of the way he acts, his mannerisms, way he stands or does certain things. Today's world has become so much more open, guys care more about things they wouldn't have before. We're still working that out, the line between being a traditional guy and metrosexual guys, and gay and bi. There are gay guys out there that don't even act like stereotypical gay guys, they act macho and come off as straight, some wouldn't believe they are gay. It's just the way the world is going, eventually it won't even be a question anymore.
 
I've often had similar assumptions made about me and I can understand how it might seem annoying sometimes. However, when a girl assumes that a man is gay, it's almost always due to positive qualities - being a good listener, displaying humbleness, being politely/softly-spoken, showing sensitivity etc. I've learnt to take it as a compliment.
 
God, I cannot even begin to tell you how many times it was assumed I was gay. I dealt with that for years. It doesn't help that I have long hair, and I'm very soft spoken as well. I never thought I came across as gay at all. In fact, everyone who knew me knew what a huge flirt I was with the women.

The good news is, if some guy thinks you're gay, he won't suspect you if you get his sister pregnant. ;)

So here's a simple piece of advice, something to say to them, the next time someone comes up to you and asks if you're gay:

THEM: Hey, are you gay?
YOU: Bend over and find out.
 
ThisSideOfTheRainbow said:
So here's a simple piece of advice, something to say to them, the next time someone comes up to you and asks if you're gay:

THEM: Hey, are you gay?
YOU: Bend over and find out.

LOL :D
 
It could be to do with things you say or body language or interests you have.
 
Because other Bi/Gay individuals have exhibited similar actions as you do. It is something that people come up with when they are just so confused on why you are not confident... or something like that. Next one who tells you that ask them why they think of it. Their answer will be crappy at best.
 
Thank you for all the feeback so far. Much appreciated and thins suggested I will take onbard!
 
I'd be insulted. No, there's nothing wrong with it, that's not why be offended. But it's basically turning you down as a romantic option because you don't "fit the mold" exactly.
 
There's probably not much to it, people have thought I was gay for something like sitting with my legs crossed.
For some people it's probably not really an accusation but just small talk.
 
bulmabriefs144 said:
I'd be insulted. No, there's nothing wrong with it, that's not why be offended. But it's basically turning you down as a romantic option because you don't "fit the mold" exactly.

Thank you for replying, and yes. I agree with you completely.
 
When people think somebody is gay, it's usually because he has certain effeminate characteristics. It could be speech, appearance, how you move, personality quirks... usually it's something pretty stereotypical. If you don't know what qualities you have that are causing this, you should ask a friend whose opinion you trust. Then, you can decide if it's a quality you want to try and change, if you're truly that bothered.
 
I've never had the gay card thrown at me to my face but I'm sure people have thought it at least one time or another cause I'm quiet and soft-spoken. But the thing is, you can't let these assumptions get to you. You know who you are, that's what is most important.
 
Sometimes people who say that have insecurities about their own sexuality, which is their problem not yours. What consenting adults do is nobody's business but their own, and if someone is gay, they're gay. If they're straight, they're straight. I have friends who are gay and friends who are straight, and I don't think any less of them based on that fact.
 

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