First post

Hi there! I wish to kind of remain anonymous on here, so let's call me Andrew.

So the situation: Basically I'm in a very long distant relationship with my girlfriend, who is in another continent from me, and I was really hoping that she could come visit me this year, but she just went ahead and went into her second year of college without telling me. Obviously I'm fine for supporting her, but it did kind of hurt to be left out of the decision making process as life decisions now mean that it will affect both of us.

Is anyone else in this situation where they feel long distance relationships provide so many strains on you and you feel kind of overlooked?

Hello,

So you're in a (very) long distance relationship. I'm afraid she's free to do what she likes (I'm assuming you're not married) just as you are too, and she probably feels the same, most women (especially if they're younger) don't want to run everything past their bf's.

I know nothing of the situation but I'm assuming you wanted your girlfriend to take a year out to visit you? She may not want to take a year out as it'll prolong the time it takes to finish college. I'm not sure what you meant by "life decisions now mean that it will affect both of us".

I've been in a long distance relationship before, it's always OK at first, but it gets difficult.

Beware.

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...btw welcome to the Forum!

Welcome!

Heey there! Welcome to the forum!

I've been in a couple of long distant relationships as well, though none of them worked well to really call the legit, if that makes sense.

My experience is that, as much as i hate to admit it, long distance relationships just don't work as well as "real life" relationships, so to speak.

So, no, i didn't have the experience that you're having now, but i still might be able to help. PM me if you want to talk about it, or talk about anything for that matter, i'm always willing to listen and help!

Welcome to the forum.

Hey there, welcome to the forum.

I've been in an LDR and currently still in one. It's not easy but I do believe communication is the key. Even in each other's major decision-making in life such as what you mentioned. I do agree that she should've at least mentioned her decision - unless it's obvious to the both of you that she would continue? I mean wouldn't that be how it goes so she could finish her education as soon as she can and then think about closing the gap with you?

Whatever it is, before you assume things and before issues crop up, it's always best to ask each other what is in doubt and talk about it calmly. In an LDR, assumptions tend to be made and for one to go well it takes a lot of trust and mutual understanding of each other. It is a lot of work but if you both really work it, it can be the strongest relationship ever.