Loneliness hurts

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hurting

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I feel so lonely that it hurts.
it feels like i am only a shadow, like i dont even exist.

i try to cope with self harm and binge eating but the painful feelings of loneliness and emptyness never leave me.

i tried, i truly tried to connect with people and have a social life but it just doesnt work for me.
it feels like i am truly meant to be alone and live a lonely life.
but whats the point of it? whats the meaning of living such a worthless life?
it feels like only death could give me some peace.

i am hurting so much.
i dont know how to cope anymore.
 
Don't give up. I know how you feel. I'm at a point in my life where I have never felt worse than this. Have you tried counseling?
 
I've been in therapy for 6 years, but now it doesnt help much anymore.

im struggling. im hurting so much it feels like dying.
 
I have to agree with what Alonewith2cats said, don't give up.
I know this might sound like a tall order coming from some stranger over the internet but if the loneliness is causing you to be depressed and worse, make you hurt yourself, sitting in front of a screen is definately not going to improve your situation.
If going out there is really not an option and you just want someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message anytime, I'm dealing with loneliness myself like many others here.
Again, don't give up. You will find someone eventually, 1 good friend is enough to get rid of loneliness.
 
It's never too late to change, whether it's a conscious decision or not, changes can happen at any time in a person's life. I can really relate to what you say. The only things that have got me through it, are music, films and photography. All these things can feel so much better when you feel terrible. Some people are lucky and find a way to channel their depression into art of some kind, others aren't, but they can still appreciate other people's, like a form of communication, holding a hand up saying "It's ok, I feel this way too". There are many things one can do alone, to pass the time. Have you any interests?
 
You never know what the future may hold. Just live life. Even if you're alone you can do things that make you happy. Focus on those. Then try new things, other things you enjoy doing. Try something new everyday. Join a club or a sports team or something. Nobody is responsible for your happiness except you. So do yourself a favour.
 
hurting said:
I've been in therapy for 6 years, but now it doesnt help much anymore.

im struggling. im hurting so much it feels like dying.

Why? You're attached.

I like women, to the point of being fixated, and it always screws me up the months or so afterward, making me unable to take care of the day to day.

Mantras are good. Repeat this: "I do not need people to be happy. They are nice, but I am a decent person by myself too. If people do not want me, that is their hang-up, not mine. I do not need people to be happy..."

You can learn to be alone without being lonely. It's a sucky life, but less suck than becoming depressed over it. Therapy only helps if you make new progress, and if not it's a waste of money.
 
Sadly I can relate to this, though I do not self half nor binge eat - when I'm really struggling I drink though, which I suppose is just as bad.

The only thing I'll say is things have really come to a head for me in the last few days and I've actually taken the step to make an appointment to see a doctor. I'm hoping it will be the beginning of things starting to get a least a little better for me, and I urge you to do the same.
 
i think there are 2 types of loneliness.

1 - when you have no interaction with people in your daily life.
2 - no girl friend / boy friend or friends.

I can cope with number 2, it doesn't bother me anymore. And mainly due to my work I speak to dozens of people a day. I know alot of people, they know me - i like these little friendships and conversations.

I think if I didn't work I would become more lonely. I have been off the last 2 weeks, the first I was off sick, the second I am holiday. I can't say it's bothered me not talking to anybody apart from my Dad. But after a few more weeks I think it would.
 
Thank you all very much for answering. it means a lot to me.

Sigma, it is so hard not to give up. i know you're right when you say sitting in front of a screen wont help, but i've already tried to connect and meet with people but it doesnt really help because i need to be able to open up, talk about what i think and feel but nobody really cares, why should they? so... i can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. and i dont know how to demolish the walls i've built around myself during the years. anyway, thank you for your support.

Painter's Radio, i've been distracting myself from my loneliness with movies, serie tv, books, sport, working, writing, internet and music for many years, without worrying about having a social life. i've also been coping throuhg food and self harm but they are all just distractions and now i feel they are not enough anymore. i dont feel i have any specific interest that makes me feel better. not anymore.

ASnowyCanadian, i know we can never know what future may hold but the present is horrible and im so tired of it. and i dont feel theres anything that can make me happy or that i enjoy doing. actually im playing volleyball once a week, i like it but the moment i finish playing i fall in my big dark hole again. you're right saying i am the only one responsible for my own happiness but i dont know how to make it.

Bulmabriefs144, but i DO need people to be happy. i know i shouldnt, but myself is not enough for me anymore. what is the worth of such a lonely life? what is the meaning? the purpose? i cant find any in my life at the moment. i've succeeded in being alone without being lonely for years. now im sick of it. is it so wrong to wish to have a boyfriend? to build a family one day? im 31 already. already 31 and i am and have been so alone all my life.

Foreverrray,
i've been seeing a therapist for 6 years but it doesnt help me anymore. what could he - or anyone - do to help? i hope it will help you though.

Duff, number 2 is definately my problem, but also numer 1 in a certain way. i do see people during the day but i dont talk with them really... only superficial stuff, while i would need to talk with someone who KNOWS me. someone who would like to listen to me and talk with me about deeper stuff. a friend but also a boyfriend...and i feel like i never really had both.

Thank you all for your support. talking here has helped.
best wishes.
 
Keep talking if it's helping. Please stop the self harming and binging though. As you've found out those don't help. Maybe you need a new therapist if the current one is no longer a help. Keep searching, there's gotta be something or someone out there that can help pull you back up. It takes time, never give up.
 
Peaches, thank you for understanding my pain.

Sci-Fi, thank you. i wish so much i could stop self harming and binging, but its so hard. they are the only things that comfort me. about therapy im thinking about quitting. if this T cant help me anymore, i dont think anyone else can.

im hanging on but its so hard.
Thank you for talking with me.
best regards
 
I was hurting too but my online friends were there for me and they taught me that I needed no fakes//Friendship isn'ta must..PM me if you want to be ma friend on FB or Skype..
 

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