Worried About Health and Attitude

[WALL-O-TEXT]

I've been alone for a long time now. I spent a few years actually living at home and not going out so I never had any friends or anyone to actually talk to. I used forums a lot because they were my only ways of communicating with people. But I started to hate them because people were arguing all the time and they weren't inviting anymore. Soon I got into college which was pretty horrible because of the social anxiety I had. I made myself look like a fool in all my classes so I'm pretty much a weirdo now... I managed to keep a 3.4 so far so my school work wasn't affected. But I had to take time off of school because I've been feeling really low lately and I just can't do any work when I feel like this.

But in all that time nothing got better. All my job applications are getting rejected. I can't even get a job volunteering. I mean who gets picky over free labor? I don't even want their money! I don't have any friends and haven't had any since high school so I'm pretty much alone all the time. I don't have any hobbies and the ones I had I just don't care to do anymore. With basically everything in my life going to crap I'm worried about health issues.

I notice that I'm sleeping well past 12pm now. And even when I do wake up I feel the urge to go back to sleep. I feel a lot weaker than usual and it's hard to get motivated to do anything. I get headaches everyday and I feel them non-stop. They aren't occasinal anymore. My outlook on life is just terrible. I don't want to die or anything but I honestly don't enjoy life anymore. I can't remember the last time I smiled and that really freaks me out. I ended up getting all kinds of addictions and I'm trying to get rid of them now. But it's hard to battle addictions because they are the only things that make me happy. Of course I know that relapsing is a bad thing and I'll feel twice as bad if I do but it's like deciding on being miserable or being twice as miserable with a little pleasure in between.

I really don't know what to do but living like this is hard to handle and it gets worse every day. Any ideas?

Try to start changing your habits.. little by little. A step at a time. No change can happen overnight. Start with the easiest change you can make.. in fact you can make a list of things you'd like to change to feel better. You know what I mean?

And it's all in the mind. If you keep telling yourself you're going to do it and you're going to start to have a better life, you actually will. The mindpower is very strong. But you need to keep reminding yourself of it. And how do you get motivation? Well your motivation could just be what you wrote - that you're sick and tired of being that way (that's what I gather from reading your post) and that you don't want to feel miserable. Changing your bad habits can allow new experiences to occur in life. You should also try to keep a positive mind as much as possible. Have faith that good things will happen with the good things that you will do. In my experience, that works.

Adding on, if you need some extra reminders to keep at it and if you need constant support, I'm here to help you with it.

exercise will be good for you !
even walking will help, if you can't afford the gym.
Try some new things / hobbies, who knows you might find a passion for something. That's what you need in your life ! A passion !

Thanks for the help. Motivation has been really hard to come by lately. Getting out of bed has been difficult let alone lifting. Anyway I'll try walking around again or something. It might take some time getting my sleep cycle back because I get really weak. I can't stay awake for more than 24 hours anymore... Anyway I'll see what I can do. Thanks again.