i want her
- Thread starter 5pt7art
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Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
I keep thinking I want to buy a 300C but it seems excessive when I already own a car that works well, even though it wouldn't cost very much. Still... what if I end up one of those people who always makes smart decisions over fun ones? I fear I never will...
Misanthrope23
Well-known member
there's this girl in my class, that seems pretty cute, but i fear...i never will have the chance to ask her out because i'm too afraid too :'(
this should become a "i fear i never will" thread.
this should become a "i fear i never will" thread.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
Come on, take a risk. I know it's easier said than done. But.. just think, if you don't give it a shot now, you'll never know if it would've happen. If it doesn't, oh well? Try again another time. Life's too short to let your fears get the best of you, sometimes. It's easier said though, but try.
ladyforsaken said:
as unbelievable as it might seem ...if talked to her several times on facebook...she always tells me lets go eat..or when are we gonna hangout...even that she wanted me to take ger danncing at a local country bar....and ive always yes hell yes fresia yes...yet she instantly becomes occupied and cant go.....whats that all about....granted also ive never thrown it out there and just asked her out
Misanthrope23
Well-known member
5pt7art said:
maybe she likes playing hard to get.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
Yeah that does seem a bit pointless. Maybe she wants you to initiate the date? Cos you say she's the one who's always asking you out. Why don't you ask her this time? And if you really want it that bad, accommodate to her timing when she's available. Tried that before?
Careful with that word "accommodate". That can be perceived as needy or desperate. Only accommodate so far. If she is interested, she should be just as willing as you are to find the time. Girls will make you bend over backward to chase them just to prove they can do it. If you comply with these behaviors, you will become the cat chasing the string - aka: toy. Girls want challenge and excitement not someone capitulating to every perceived compliance test.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
bodafuko said:
Agreed. I was kinda thinking accommodate for that first time he asks her out, but yes, good point added. Thanks boda.
Misanthrope23
Well-known member
bodafuko said:
and that's why i hate dating!!
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
5pt7art said:
Go for it.
5pt7art Wrote:
"she always tells me lets go eat..or when are we gonna hangout...even that she wanted me to take ger danncing at a local country bar....and ive always yes hell yes fresia yes...yet she instantly becomes occupied and cant go.....whats that all about...."
Hhhhmmmm, yeah, I'd say she's playing games.
Personally, I think it is best to keep games out of relationships. When people play games, they're not being honest or direct. It is always best to be honest, direct, specific, and respectful. Here's an example of how to do it.
Contact her on Monday with the following:
"Hey (insert name of girl), I think you're a really interesting person and I'd like to take you dancing this Saturday night at the (insert name of club). Could you let me know by Wednesday night if you would like to go with me? I need to know by Wednesday night because, if you don't want to go, I need to time to make alternate plans with my friends (or family)." Don't imply you've got other girls lined up. It's perfectly reasonable to not sit at home for forever and waste a weekend because you're waiting for an answer that may never come.
How this girl responds is a reflection of who she is and where's she's at:
This is just an example but I hope this helps. The direct, honest approach is always best. The truth will set you free.
"she always tells me lets go eat..or when are we gonna hangout...even that she wanted me to take ger danncing at a local country bar....and ive always yes hell yes fresia yes...yet she instantly becomes occupied and cant go.....whats that all about...."
Hhhhmmmm, yeah, I'd say she's playing games.
Personally, I think it is best to keep games out of relationships. When people play games, they're not being honest or direct. It is always best to be honest, direct, specific, and respectful. Here's an example of how to do it.
Contact her on Monday with the following:
"Hey (insert name of girl), I think you're a really interesting person and I'd like to take you dancing this Saturday night at the (insert name of club). Could you let me know by Wednesday night if you would like to go with me? I need to know by Wednesday night because, if you don't want to go, I need to time to make alternate plans with my friends (or family)." Don't imply you've got other girls lined up. It's perfectly reasonable to not sit at home for forever and waste a weekend because you're waiting for an answer that may never come.
How this girl responds is a reflection of who she is and where's she's at:
- If you don't hear back by Wednesday night, move on. Why? Because she doesn't respect you enough to honour your respectful request and to give an answer. This is a reflection of who she is. A respectful person will give you a timely response. Find someone else.
- If she says she's busy then ask when she won't be busy. If she doesn't give an answer, see step 1. Find someone else.
- If she says no then that's that and this truth will set you free to find someone else.
- If she says yes then get out there and go dancing (or whatever it is you decide to do).
This is just an example but I hope this helps. The direct, honest approach is always best. The truth will set you free.
Hi duff, if sending a text works for you then that's what you should do. There are a number of ways to ask someone out and it really depends on the two people involved, the time, the place, the culture, etc.
If you do decide to send a text message, you should let her know that you weren't able to get her alone so decided to send a text instead. She'll appreciate your discretion. If she's shy, by texting, it makes it easier for her to text back with her answer. I think you should do what you're most comfortable with and what works with your budget.
One time, I got to know my neighbour because he slipped a Christmas card underneath the door of my apartment. He's my husband now! As my husband says, "You gotta start somewhere!"
If you do decide to send a text message, you should let her know that you weren't able to get her alone so decided to send a text instead. She'll appreciate your discretion. If she's shy, by texting, it makes it easier for her to text back with her answer. I think you should do what you're most comfortable with and what works with your budget.
One time, I got to know my neighbour because he slipped a Christmas card underneath the door of my apartment. He's my husband now!
As my husband says, "You gotta start somewhere!"I've been re-thinking point #2 in my previous thread where I said that if she gives "busy" as an answer (rather than giving a yes or no answer), you should inquire about finding a better time to get together. I've changed my mind about that answer.
Here's what I'm thinking:
Suppose she says, "Can't go. Busy. Sorry." Compare that answer to if she says, "I'm busy on Saturday night because I'm going to my aunt's birthday party. Can we meet for coffee Saturday afternoon instead?" If a woman is interested, she will not let this opportunity pass. It's probably safe to assume if you get an answer along the lines of "Can't go. Busy." it means she's not interested.
Here's what I'm thinking:
Suppose she says, "Can't go. Busy. Sorry." Compare that answer to if she says, "I'm busy on Saturday night because I'm going to my aunt's birthday party. Can we meet for coffee Saturday afternoon instead?" If a woman is interested, she will not let this opportunity pass. It's probably safe to assume if you get an answer along the lines of "Can't go. Busy." it means she's not interested.
