The art of not giving a ****

^ That one, i've been trying a long time to learn that, but it doesn't really seem to work. So yet again i want to ask a favour of you guys, do you have any suggestions that helped you in not giving a ****?

Yeah, i've tried the "just do it" attitude for years, maybe i don't try hard enough. For me it's just not really clear what to do to achieve this goal i want to achieve.

By now, time is pressing, this is an important subgoal if i want to achieve the goal which i am on this forum for.

Thank you all for your time.

EDIT: I somehow managed to forget to specify that i meant not giving a **** about what other people think of me. I'm still very much caring of close friends and family, and i'd like to keep it that way. But as some of you pointed out, caring too much can be troublesome, and that's exactly my problem. So yeah, not giving a **** about what other people think of me was what i meant. Sorry for the confusion.

It depends what about.

Personally, I think I'm good at this. I don't know if it's the right attitude or whatever, but I don't really care about most things that go on. That's not to say I'm numb, don't have any feelings and don't care about anyone but myself; this isn't the case.

It is another kind of control, if I wanna care about something, I will; otherwise I will not, of course if you have a strong link with someone (family, close friend etc..) is different, anything else outside of this circle is controllable. I suppose it's took long practice with things going on that's out of my control.

I suppose it depends on how you think about things in general, for instance, I consider myself to be realistic when I think of things, and kinda stubborn, and I think your thinking habits influence this "control", but it's difficult to try and explain without knowing what kind of things you're referring to.

In all honesty there's always going to be many things you will give a **** about despite the indifference you indicate as desirable. As time goes forth you're going to find relationships and the possibility of parenthood further changing your attitude regarding The "Art" of not giving a ****.

It's a cold and lonely path you're seeking, it's really not that great of a destination to go- The Art of Caring is infinitely more rewarding and desirable, seems to take a lot less energy to maintain an upbeat nature than a negative or void one.

Put things in perspective;

Do these people really know you?

Are they in a position to potentially harm you?

If no then what they think means very little.

The Art of Caring is infinitely more rewarding and desirable, seems to take a lot less energy to maintain an upbeat nature than a negative or void one.

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While I agree with this, I think there are always people that "care too much" and would probably like to have some sort of control. I was only reading a related post on here about this very subject, and I believe you need limits, otherwise it will be something that'll consume you, energy and mind.

I'm not sure if Rosebolt feels he fits into this here, but it's certainly another angle to look at this.

It isn't bad to care. But to take everything personal can be an issue.

Sleep deprivation works wonders. I get like 4 hours of sleep a day and I think by around thursday when someone tells me a problem, my response is just "Gruuuuu..." and I pretty much feel nothing.

Limlim said:

Sleep deprivation works wonders. I get like 4 hours of sleep a day and I think by around thursday when someone tells me a problem, my response is just "Gruuuuu..." and I pretty much feel nothing.

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I tried this! But then I also felt so weak & vulnerable. Also I think I scared little children.

Sometimes I just have to trust that people will do their own work, so I don't have to fret and fuss over them. I find the more I push, the more people and situations resist my efforts and less gets done.

And then sometimes you do have to make that phone call and send that email to confirm that people are doing what they said they would, when you haven't heard back from them after the deadline.

And sometimes it really is other people that are batsh*t insane and you best leave them alone to throw up their batsh*tiness all over themselves instead of taking it personally.

sometimes not giving a **** is a bad idea. like if i don't give a **** about the paper i have to write for accounting i'd be screwed.

The only times I can successfully not give a **** is when I'm really ill, sleep deprived like Limlim said, or under so much pressure that I cannot function normally.

All other times, probably care a bit too much for my own good. So basically I'm no help

Thanks for the responses everyone! I don't have enough time to go over them individually and answer them all, but i will do that later.

Also, i edited the original post since i somehow forgot to mention what it actually was that i didn't want to give a **** about anymore.

Again, thanks for taking the time to think about and write down what you did. That includes you, Limlim!

I approve of the special mention of my contribution. I think every thread needs to end up this way. "Thanks everyone! ... And limlim!"

Lmao Limlim. (There, recognition for your above post!)

I once was someone who cared way too much for my own good. I had to care for a lot of kids and a lot of them are troubled. There were some who responded well and some who didn't. I was affected so much to the point of depression that I had to learn to detach. I'm not exactly sure how to pinpoint how to detach from people - care about them but put a stop / limit to what you care about in that person because I don't think you can stop caring about people if you are already caring by nature.

What I did was just to "psycho" myself and reason out with myself, is this person worth my care and effort? Is this person's behaviour worth to be affected by? If the answer is no, I just let it go. Eventually.. like until now.. I find it easier to care for people, but as soon as they seem to be negative to me or hurting me, I stop giving a **** and do my own thing.

Limlim said:

I approve of the special mention of my contribution. I think every thread needs to end up this way. "Thanks everyone! ... And limlim!"

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:club:

Right, so. First step. Deep breath (oxygen is a very important part of not giving a ****).

You're in that situation where you think people are noticing that your clothes suck / your hair looks stupid / youre ugly / WHATEVER. Look around at people's faces. Are they looking at you? Even though we're talking about a hypothetical situation occurring in the future, I'm gonna go ahead and say they aren't. Because they NEVER ARE (evidence taken from my life :I ). Even if they are looking at you, chances are they're just staring blankly into space while mentally going over their grocery list.

See, the one thing that has started helping me is that I`ve finally realized: NO ONE gives a crap about you. No one! (I mean this in the politest of ways, btw.) The only ones that do are the overly dramatic ones. Those are the ones who are rude to cashiers / waiters, are aggressive drivers, and the ones who listen to their music in public places without headphones. Seriously, ask yourself how much you really care whenever you see someone with a bad hairday (if you even really notice it) or when somebody really screws up / says something completely stupid. Do you judge other people as harshly as you think they judge you? If the answer is no, then they are the same. Hey. They are THE SAME. Trust me, from your perspective, I'm 'one of them', and I dont care, so they don't care, yay.
And I know I've only given the example of caring about your appearance, but it literally applies to all other situations as well.

You're in that situation where you're thinking about how everyone's going to notice you did something stupid. Oh my god, was it stupid. Mortifyingly embarrassing. http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/take-heart-no-matter-how-bad-you-screw-up.jpg
Somebody in your workplace, in your town, has done something infinitely more stupid than you have. Actually, many people have.

Or maybe you want to do something but you're afraid of being judged for it: http://24.media.tumblr.com/5b4946fc1c739a7c5ff979c8dddac68e/tumblr_mj2c5oggGN1qz9wlpo1_500.jpg
and then the cat walked away and decided his lawn was a more important thought than Hank and his boat. You see what I mean hm?
When that light switch turns on in your brain, and you're like, 'hey, maybe people really actually sincerely just dont care about me & what I do', things get a whole lot less stressful. Unless you have an anxiety disorder, in which case, they get a little bit less stressful, but even that little bit helps.


My final point is this; people are like goldfish. We all look slightly different but we are all stupid fish ._.
Basically I had just one point but I just took like 500 words to say it bahaha


Also, agreed with the sleep deprivation/ill thing. I have so much to say on this subject (can you tell lol). If you're bored or this doesn't help I have more suggestions D:

VanillaCreme said:

Limlim said:

I approve of the special mention of my contribution. I think every thread needs to end up this way. "Thanks everyone! ... And limlim!"

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:club:

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I used to care a lot about what others thought about me and, technically, my life depended on it. Then, I understood that they'll be always looking for flaws and defects, but they'd never be able to see the good things in me.

Others don't know you and never will. What matters the most is what you think of yourself.