Negative

Omnisiac said:

I don't know if this helps, but I have been reading alot on this forum and some of these people have accomplished more in their partial life-time than I would ever have the motivation to do in four of mine. But look around, they are here with you, feeling so lonely they needed to reachout also. Accomplishing things is not going to make you any less lonely. Maybe I sound like a broken record on this forum but I'm going to try it myself, maybe you should try volunteering? I don't know if it works but I think its worth a shot, lets face it what else do we have to lose?

Losing your loved one is dying. When you are 80 or 90 laying there waiting for the end the only things you will have left behind are the memories of how you treated other people and all you take with you is the same. When you choose to spend your life with someone a great deal of you and your life is with them, in their memories. You live inside their mind attatched to your favorite song, an old car, the smell of vanilla. It is devastating. Whether they are alive or dead you are still alive and if they are alive their memory of you is aswell. If they are dead you carry them with you. It is sad but its something we all have, or will face, and is survivable.

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itsmylife said:

I don’t really know where to start. I don’t even know what to say. I just need somewhere to vent.

I’m in such a negative place right now. It has been such a long time and I just cannot find the way out. I have tried so many different things and nothing is working. I have health problems and my depression drags me down and zaps every last bit of my energy. I have lost someone I truly loved and am absolutely devastated. I just keep having bad news after bad news and I have no one to support me. I’m not great at putting my thoughts or feelings into words and usually end up being taken the wrong way.

I have a very negative self-image and very low self-worth and when people pick on this and use it against me it hurts more than I can explain. The voice in my head is constantly firing negativity at me and when anyone says anything negative about me the voice picks up on that and fires that at me too, over and over again. Meaning I find it very hard to let things go.

I am terrified of continually getting older and still getting nowhere. I have nothing to show for my life. I feel like I'm screaming at people but noone can hear me. I feel trapped, broken.

I have tried going over everything with so many different doctors and specialists but they just don’t seem to be able to help.

I just don’t see the point anymore. Well if I’m honest I haven’t seen the point in a long time but now I really, really want to fall asleep and not wake up.

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itsmylife said:

Thank you all so much for your responses. They help me more than you realise.

When I said I lost someone I truly loved, he’s not died. He’s just left. Gone away, moved on, doesn’t want to know me anymore. I think it would have been easier if he had died. That way at least I would have known he still loved me. He was all I had. All it’s done is left me devastated and given my inner voice the confirmation that I really am as worthless and unlovable as I thought.

I have tried to do the whole positive thing. This is just another issue in a whole line of others. I just don’t have the energy or the strength for it anymore.

Sorry I know there is way too much negativity and self-pity in my messages. Just life is pretty dark right now.

Thank you again for your words. I really, really appreciate them. There are some good, good people on this site.

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JustALonelyGuy said:

Sometiems the whole 'positivity' thing feels like BS and a complete waste of time. Also,I feel as worthless as you feel sometimes.

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