So I met this girl at a store...

So there is this girl that works at a store somewhat close to where I live. She had helped me at the checkout a couple times previous and said hi with a big smile another time. This one particular time that I went in I didn't realize she was nearby when I was looking at a particular product. She asked if I needed any help to which I responded that I was basically just looking. She walked away a bit while doing something but asked if I knew what kind I wanted (of the product). We basically talked about the product for what seemed like a good 5 minutes but she was smiling the whole time and she was super nice and cool and very cute. It seems like she likes me but she could just be that nice to everyone.. I don't know.

So I've pretty much fallen for this girl and can't stop thinking about her. Trouble is I have a huge case of social anxiety especially when it comes to girls. I have almost basically zero experience. I had my chances with girls when I was younger but was too scared/shy. I'm in my twenties and apparently good looking (to what degree I don't know) but have body image/confidence issues. Oh yeah, I'm one of those nice guys that apparently run the risk of being friendzoned because they're too afraid to let it be known they want anything more.

I so badly want to talk to her more, though. Normally there is like 0% chance that I could go in and strike up a conversation or let it be known that I'm interested in her. I could go to the store more and just try to talk but it isn't a grocery store and it's not that big so it would be pretty weird if I keep showing up lol.. But also I don't know what I would talk about since I don't do a lot with people because of my social anxiety. Chances are a cute girl like her is in a relationship already..

Any suggestions?

i wish i could help but i have almost the same exact fears in talking with people that i potentially like :/

Ask her to hangout? Then you can talk about anything.. hobbies, what does she do for fun, her likes and dislikes etc.. so many things you can talk about. The key is not to just ask her questions.. but to also respond and chip in about you as well. Just try to relax.. don't think about feeling anxious.. focus on wanting to know more about her and her to know more about you.

Not sure if that's helpful.. but good luck!

What Lady said ^^

Might help to kind of rehearse a little scenario before hand and prepare for many outcomes so you can kind of respond better (I do this a lot and it seems to help).

Maybe you can start by striking up a conversation about another product and then introduce yourself. Perhaps even compliment her on something like her shoes or earrings or something? Good luck !

Thanks for the replies!

Ladyforsaken, I would love to hang out with her. I've only hung out alone with one other girl alone really and that was about a year ago. I was pretty awkward. I was really open with talking about my situation with my anxiety because I had to be. It isn't difficult for me to talk about but it probably scared her off. I mean we hung out for a good amount by my standards but it eventually ended. Unfortunately, most questions that this girl would ask me would lead up to my anxiety. I don't even have a job right now because of it so that's a huge problem in itself. With this being said, I realize that hanging out is the end goal and would be something I would have to do anyway but I don't know if I am ready.

Veruca, thoughts go around and around my head naturally so I've played out quite a few scenarios in my head already lol, good idea though. I was honestly thinking about how I could do just that...start a conversation about something and complimenting her. Her style makes it easy to compliment her on. I should have introduced myself the time we were talking. I even might have if the conversation didn't end quite as awkwardly because we had to ask another employee a question and so it was the three of us and when the question was answered they were both standing looking at me so I was like OK Thanks! and went to the checkout nearby. Thanks for the ideas!

It's all good Misanthrope. I hope some of the answers can help you too!

smbd4smn said:

Thanks for the replies!

Ladyforsaken, I would love to hang out with her. I've only hung out alone with one other girl alone really and that was about a year ago. I was pretty awkward. I was really open with talking about my situation with my anxiety because I had to be. It isn't difficult for me to talk about but it probably scared her off. I mean we hung out for a good amount by my standards but it eventually ended. Unfortunately, most questions that this girl would ask me would lead up to my anxiety. I don't even have a job right now because of it so that's a huge problem in itself. With this being said, I realize that hanging out is the end goal and would be something I would have to do anyway but I don't know if I am ready.

Veruca, thoughts go around and around my head naturally so I've played out quite a few scenarios in my head already lol, good idea though. I was honestly thinking about how I could do just that...start a conversation about something and complimenting her. Her style makes it easy to compliment her on. I should have introduced myself the time we were talking. I even might have if the conversation didn't end quite as awkwardly because we had to ask another employee a question and so it was the three of us and when the question was answered they were both standing looking at me so I was like OK Thanks! and went to the checkout nearby. Thanks for the ideas!

It's all good Misanthrope. I hope some of the answers can help you too!

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I wouldn't waste time wondering if she likes you. It's very hard to tell. Just keep using the shop, buy stuff you don't need if you have to. And then when your ready ask her for a coffee. What's the worst that can happen ? She says 'no' - If that happens, you can stop using the shop.

She's a friend of a friend on facebook. I think she's pretty outgoing and I hate to say it but that I probably don't stand a chance lol... O well I will still go in trying to talk again.

smbd4smn said:

She's a friend of a friend on facebook. I think she's pretty outgoing and I hate to say it but that I probably don't stand a chance lol... O well I will still go in trying to talk again.

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If it's a friend of a friend, maybe you can somehow arrange a meeting with said friend and her?

Sigma said:

smbd4smn said:

She's a friend of a friend on facebook. I think she's pretty outgoing and I hate to say it but that I probably don't stand a chance lol... O well I will still go in trying to talk again.

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If it's a friend of a friend, maybe you can somehow arrange a meeting with said friend and her?

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Well they're facebook "friends" they were coworkers and don't hang out and my said "friend" is someone I used to hang out with a bit but not anymore. Sorry, should have clarified.

Talked to her again today at the store. Chickened out big time. Had the perfect chance to say something or at least my name.

smbd4smn said:

Talked to her again today at the store. Chickened out big time. Had the perfect chance to say something or at least my name.

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Try again, dude.

It sounds like you need to focus on the step before introducing yourself. Work on just saying, "Hi" every time you see her, and maybe asking how she's doing. Do that until it feels completely natural to you to initiate with her whenever you see her. Of course, when you don't quite muster up the courage, don't give yourself a hard time about it. Just remember that there will be another opportunity the next time you see her.

Admire her from afar with the bittersweet unrequited love that is only possible for a girl whose soggy tampon you have never fished out of your toilet bowl.

Afterwards, I was a bit down and entertained the idea that she is definitely out of my league and what am I thinking? I will try again. I have perfected the art of saying Hi to people, so that won't be a problem. It's what comes next, especially with girls that I've taken a liking to, that is my biggest obstacle. It isn't a grocery store so I don't go in there too often normally. I feel like I can't wait too long, that I am running out of time or something. Like it would take months if I was to regularly say Hi every time I go in there since I probably go in there 1-2 times a month normally. Thanks for the positive responses. It's nice feeling like you have people that have your back.

Oh yeah and thanks Lusker.. that was somehow poetic albeit not all that reassuring lol.

smbd4smn said:

Oh yeah and thanks Lusker.. that was somehow poetic albeit not all that reassuring lol.

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You're welcome.

I once lusted after a girl so badly that my testicles turned blue. Finally I managed up the courage to ask her out, and after an awesome night on the drink was driving her home for much anticipated sexy-times when she farted in my car.

The only princesses are the ones in fairy tales.

lusker said:

The only princesses are the ones in fairy tales.

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Tru dat.

Well... except for those actual princesses in modern european monarchies.

...but I suspect that they fart, too.

Well.. I will keep going in and saying Hi, and hopefully eventually talk to her more. But, maybe more importantly, this situation woke me up. I've been depressed for awhile now. It gave me a jump start to actually make some changes, or start to make some changes that will definitely make me feel better about myself. I'm not too badly out of shape but I haven't worked out in a long time and have a pretty sedentary lifestyle. There were periods where I would work out with a friend, months at a time and I know a felt a lot better about myself. I want to start doing that and running/biking every morning. I've got some schooling that I want to put to an end and finally finish. Get some help from a doctor. I'm going to start some activities I've wanted to do around the house for awhile now but just never started, painting, writing, etc. I've now even been entertaining the idea that going to some kind of school and/or getting a job (I do currently have a side job) is what I want to do. I know actions speak louder than words. But it is a step in the right direction. And, hopefully I will feel better about myself. I really feel like I just want to be out around people more than ever. I know a lot of us want this, it's just not that easy. But here is to my renewed sense of "trying" to improve instead of doing nothing. It just kind of dawned on me that if I talk to her sure that would be a huge obstacle I overcame but then what... I mean maybe I will do all this and still be too shy/scared to talk to girls/people but I will be in a much better place to overcome that I think. I know it sounds like I'm patting myself on the back when a lot of people are struggling here, but I just want to talk to someone about it. And, maybe someone else will make a change in their life that they have wanted to do for so long, too.

Good for you SMBD4SMN - can I call you S?

Thats a very positive attitude that can only help you, you will feel better about yourself, maybe more confident, and gives you more to talk about if someone asks you what you're up to.

Good job (sincere)

hey sure Yeah, I hope I can get more confidence and mainly it will just give me more dimensions. Before, I wanted to do a lot of stuff but was just too down to even start anything. I feel like if I meet anyone now, they won't enjoy my company since I don't feel like I have a lot to talk about because I don't do anything really. The trouble I'm having right now is that I just want to go out and be with people. I really only have one good friend that I do stuff with and we don't go out much due to other circumstances. I've never felt comfortable in bars and am not that big of a drinker anyway. I just take rides down the main strip in a city nearby and go to a couple big stores just to be around people. It's kind of getting old.. I want more than that. I can do all the things I can to feel better about myself but I know that won't be enough in itself. Eventually, I will have to actively try to talk/meet with people. But I'm going to take it one step at a time and try to gain more confidence.

I have learned how to just give up. I figure I am a charity case. Males and females a like are nice to me to fill their charity for the day quota. There is no authenticity in what they say.

However, most other people I know would tell you to Man up and go talk to her. Apparently being able to be confident or something is good or something... I do not know.