Ode to The Most Interesting Man

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
M

MissGuided

Guest
Just a place to post your favorite Most Interesting Man quotes, or your submission for his future ads. I'm not sure if these commercials are carried outside the US, so not everyone may see the humor. I think the theme is pretty similar to the Chuck Norris 'facts' trend.



-He is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

-He has never lost a sock.

-If he disagrees with you, it is because you are wrong.

-Women have been known to keep mistletoe up until August….just in case he drops by.

-If he dreams of you, your life will change forever. If you dream of him, he knows.

-He can speak French, in Russian.

-His recipe for deviled eggs involves actual witchcraft.

-Rome would have been built in a day had they followed his blueprints correctly.

-His lovemaking has been detected with a seismograph.

-He has never waited 15 minutes after finishing a meal before returning to the pool.

-His business card just says, “I’ll call you”.

-His To-Do lists have won Pulitzers.

-The contents of his tacos refuse to fall out.

-If you were to see him walking a Chihuahua, it would still look masculine.

-When he orders a salad, he gets the dressing right there on top of the salad – where it belongs….where there is no turning back.

-He once taught a German Shepherd to bark…in Spanish.

-When he employs the 'I'm Away' icon, no one dares question him. (That one was mine, especially for LK. :) )
 
-His shampoo bottle never runs out.

-When his stomach growls, it feeds itself.

-He doesn't get cancer; cancer gets him.

-When he drinks too much, the bottle gets drunk.

-His deviled eggs are angelic.
 
-Even his tree houses have finished basements.

-He strongly abides by the motto, ‘Safety Third’.

-Dicing onions doesn’t make him cry – it only makes him stronger.

-He’s never needed lip balm.

-He bullfights nude.
 
-The coffee he drinks would kill mere mortals.

-When he sings, the universe stops to listen.

-If he wrote a book, it would sell 7 billion copies.

-His cell phone only has one contact in it: himself.
 
-Were he to say that something ‘costs an arm and a leg’.…it would.

-He went to a psychic once – to warn her.

-When it is raining, it is because he is thinking of something sad.

-He once punched a magician. That’s right. You heard me.

-People are still laughing at a joke he told in 1997.
 
-When he plugs an electrical appliance in, the power company pays him.

-When he goes swimming, water refuses to touch him.

-When he opens his mouth, all other mouths close.

-If he dislikes a song, the band who sings it breaks up.
 
^I think that's perfect. :)

-His two cents have overruled Supreme Court decisions.

-Most songs about love are written for him, about him or by him.

-He is the only man to ever ace a Rorschach test.
 
-All of Taylor Swift's songs are about him.

-His IQ is so high that it cannot be calculated.

-When he runs, he doesn't move; the earth moves for him.
 
Badjedidude said:
-All of Taylor Swift's songs are about him.
My new favorite. One of the dudes at work and I go at it daily with the Interesting Man quotes. I will totally gain ground with this one!
 
MissGuided said:
My new favorite. One of the dudes at work and I go at it daily with the Interesting Man quotes. I will totally gain ground with this one!

Happy to be of service. :cool:

-He modeled for every emoticon and smiley on the internet.

-Every time he wins a sports trophy, NASA launches a mission to mine asteroids for extremely rare metals -- because a gold medal isn't good enough for him.

-He can have every woman that crosses his path -- even the ones who don't cross his path.

-He went to hunt tigers and came back with a T-Rex.
 
^ooooh, yes - these make me happy...keep going!


-He has served as Best Man to grooms he’s never met.

-If he were to build a garden maze, it would be responsible for more missing persons than the Bermuda Triangle.

-Even his parrot’s advice is insightful.

-His bear hugs are actually hugs he gives to bears.

-He can’t be bought, but his beard clippings have been known to show up at auction.

-Whatever side of the tracks he is currently on is the right side. If he crossed them, he would *still* be on the right side.
 
-Supercomputers use him to do powerful calculations.

-Tailors pay him to wear their suits.

-When he plays poker, he always has the winning hand. ALWAYS.
 
-He has never stepped in gum.

-It is said that the sun comes up later on the 6th of May, in case his Cinco parties run long.

-He once buried a time capsule full of things that haven’t happened yet.
 
-He gets 365 days of paid vacation at work every year.

-He wears woolly mammoth fur slippers.

-It's rumored that the big bang was his first orgasm.

-The only regret he has is that he regrets nothing.
 
^Outstanding, sir!! I am *so* gonna whoop Sam's ass at work next week.


-He once won the Tour de France but was disqualified for riding a unicycle.

-He has never walked into a spider web.

-He tells his milk when, and if, to expire.
 
-He once served as a war photographer; battles paused to let him get good photos.

-If he planted a garden, it would solve the world's food problems.

-Computer viruses refuse to infect his computer.

-He's so smart that when he answers a question incorrectly, it's still correct.
 
-If there is anything strange going on in his neighborhood, he deals with it with a swift, disapproving glance.

-He won the World Series of Poker using UNO cards.

-Werewolves are jealous of his beard.

-No less than 18 Mexican folk songs have been written about his beard.
 
-His beard is so mighty that it trims itself.

-He once went camping and started a fire. We call that fire the sun.

-Scientists use his urine for its anti-aging properties.

-When he makes stuffed crust pizza, there's another entire stuffed crust pizza inside of the stuffed crust.
 
-He is a lover, not a fighter. But, he is also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.

-His tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.

-His resume only has his picture.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top