Dissident
Well-known member
Over the years after I graduated I faced some of the darkest days of depression of my life. I attempted suicide a number of times because of the crushing loneliness and the helpless feeling of being trapped under my mother's thumb. When the recession hit, it got so much worse. I was jobless for 9 months, and when I did get a job, it was a cruddy retail job at just above minimum wage. I was literally giving my parents every cent of my money and they would only give me enough to fill up the car to go to work. I couldn't drive down the street to see my friends who were scared to get involved because of how intense my mother is. My quarter-life crisis was in full swing, and our generation has more under-30s living with their parents than any other.
Fast forward to now. I live in an apartment with my girlfriend, I have my own car, and I have a decent full-time job. (My girlfriend and I aren't exactly working out, and there are a number of other issues, but I'm not bring those up here.
) I'm not going to say "if I can do it, you have no reason not to be able to, too" because that's bullshit and everyone has to accomplish things at their own pace. Just hoping maybe a few tactics can be picked up from this.
First off, all those years I squandered sitting in my room with no social life were spent honing a number of skills. I can debug a host of software and networking issues, I can design polished and refined graphics ready for the printing press using Adobe software, and I'm well-versed in a number of programming languages. It's something I love doing, and it has a real-world value. This should have been enough, but let's be honest: you don't get very far without a degree unfortunately.
In the fall of 2010 I started college to get a Bachelor's in a field I already know well just to have that extra level of verification of my skill set. My college fortunately has career advisors that will keep an ear out for any openings that might suit the students. If you don't have career advisors, at least demonstrate to your department head that you are serious and set up some kind of reputation with him/her. You need established people in your network.
A year into college I finally got word of a job. It wasn't a fantastic job, it was enough to get bills paid, but I'd expressed to the career advisor that I needed something more substantial than minimum wage. He hooked me up with a warehouse job paying $12 an hour for just shy of full time.
I was still dependent on my parents' wheels. I had a massive transit every day in a gas-guzzling SUV. I needed new wheels not just to cut down on gas cost but also to gain that extra bit of independence. M college is not a typical college - more like a technical school - so I don't live on campus, and the transit to class is long. I asked my school if there was anything I could do because I couldn't get approval for a car loan. They said I could use a Pell Grant - government assistance that is given to the school first and then to the student if they are deemed as needing it - to help get a car, after paying some other fees to the school. About three months later, the money came through and with the leftover funds I bought a cheap car.
All that was left was to actually get out. Fortunately for me I had friends who knew a couple friends who were also trying to get out. A few months later we got an apartment. Now I [mostly] don't have to respond to anyone [but my gf now] about the things I do at home.
There are a few caveats to the method, which may be blatantly obvious:
So I hope this is helpful to someone. If you can find a way to get a car without going into $50k worth of debt let me know.
Fast forward to now. I live in an apartment with my girlfriend, I have my own car, and I have a decent full-time job. (My girlfriend and I aren't exactly working out, and there are a number of other issues, but I'm not bring those up here.
) I'm not going to say "if I can do it, you have no reason not to be able to, too" because that's bullshit and everyone has to accomplish things at their own pace. Just hoping maybe a few tactics can be picked up from this.First off, all those years I squandered sitting in my room with no social life were spent honing a number of skills. I can debug a host of software and networking issues, I can design polished and refined graphics ready for the printing press using Adobe software, and I'm well-versed in a number of programming languages. It's something I love doing, and it has a real-world value. This should have been enough, but let's be honest: you don't get very far without a degree unfortunately.
In the fall of 2010 I started college to get a Bachelor's in a field I already know well just to have that extra level of verification of my skill set. My college fortunately has career advisors that will keep an ear out for any openings that might suit the students. If you don't have career advisors, at least demonstrate to your department head that you are serious and set up some kind of reputation with him/her. You need established people in your network.
A year into college I finally got word of a job. It wasn't a fantastic job, it was enough to get bills paid, but I'd expressed to the career advisor that I needed something more substantial than minimum wage. He hooked me up with a warehouse job paying $12 an hour for just shy of full time.
I was still dependent on my parents' wheels. I had a massive transit every day in a gas-guzzling SUV. I needed new wheels not just to cut down on gas cost but also to gain that extra bit of independence. M college is not a typical college - more like a technical school - so I don't live on campus, and the transit to class is long. I asked my school if there was anything I could do because I couldn't get approval for a car loan. They said I could use a Pell Grant - government assistance that is given to the school first and then to the student if they are deemed as needing it - to help get a car, after paying some other fees to the school. About three months later, the money came through and with the leftover funds I bought a cheap car.
All that was left was to actually get out. Fortunately for me I had friends who knew a couple friends who were also trying to get out. A few months later we got an apartment. Now I [mostly] don't have to respond to anyone [but my gf now] about the things I do at home.
There are a few caveats to the method, which may be blatantly obvious:
- Of course I am now in debt up to my eyeballs for a degree... and degrees are said to be the next economic bubble to collapse.
- The couple I moved in with were jackasses, which is at least part of my doing. Don't let people you don't know that well interfere with your private life. Also, you should get to know your prospective roommates better.
- Don't let a gf/bf move in when you're not really into her/him anymore.
- My parents and I get along strangely now. I moved out very abruptly and without warning, which understandably caused a lot of strain. My mother as a result is back on anti-depressants. Hey, at least I'm only down the street!
So I hope this is helpful to someone. If you can find a way to get a car without going into $50k worth of debt let me know.
