...should I be letting this out..?

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Beastisbest10

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First off, I'm a newbie to this site and I'm grateful I found this.

So...I shall start with my problem. Of course, I may have the lowest self esteem out of my whole entire family, which may have caused it. I really don't see myself as 'beautiful', and it's true. I think I'm overweight but I'm 5'5" and in guessing around 120-125 lbs. I have no idea how people say I'm skinny even though I am small frames and 'chubby'. Going out; I always dress in some comfortable pants and a sweatshirt to hide my body. My mother and father have marriage issues and I'm the only child affected out of two male siblings. I'm stressed, depressed, suicidal, and of course, have no self esteem. Two of my friends cut and I did but I've been clean for a month.

I've been to that point where I stopped eating at a point. I've been dieting lately and always checking what I eat. I haven't had sugar until today, and it upsets me, food makes me think I'll gain weight; and that's my number one fear. I-I don't wanna go anorexic...and Im scared I will.

All I ask is for someone to guide me. I've been fed up with my family and society I wanna disappear.

Thanks to whoever may reply,
Beast.
 
First off, welcome to ALL :D

Low self esteem is a common problem around here, so know you're not alone. I myself am not very concerned with my appearance, mostly because I couldn't care less about what local creatures in my village think about me, but I'm well aware my social skills leave a lot to be desired. I also share the fed up with society thing, I've long since given up on fitting in here, maybe once I move out and start over somewhere far away.
Try talking with some people on the forum, lots of nice folk around here and I'm sure it'll help dealing with all those negative feelings.

Hope you'll enjoy your stay :)
 
Sigma said:
First off, welcome to ALL :D

Low self esteem is a common problem around here, so know you're not alone. I myself am not very concerned with my appearance, mostly because I couldn't care less about what local creatures in my village think about me, but I'm well aware my social skills leave a lot to be desired. I also share the fed up with society thing, I've long since given up on fitting in here, maybe once I move out and start over somewhere far away.
Try talking with some people on the forum, lots of nice folk around here and I'm sure it'll help dealing with all those negative feelings.

Hope you'll enjoy your stay :)
why thank you.

Well...looks like I'm not alone, at least I thought I was alone, but that's for the input. I enjoy getting help from people I don't 'personally' know. Ok--getting off track.

Sure will ^^
 
As someone whose parents divorced at 11, let me tell you what.. well, I can't say their divorce won't change anything, but unless there's something really, really drastic going on, nothing is going to change so severely it will consume your mind. At worst in normal circumstances you'll see one of your parents on the weekends or whenever. If they divorce it's not like you're losing one of your parents. They will still be there.

As for the food and your image, eat like you always have but work out. I don't do it myself (though I should), but the people I know that do say it does great for their self-esteem and their energy. If you're already doing nothing with your time, you might as well spend some of it doing that, right? ;) It can't hurt you. Unless you, like, crush your trachea bench pressing. But you should probably not start there anyway. :p
 
Hey Beast, welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you've been through all that. :\

I've been dealing with a few teenagers who are suffering from anorexia. I'm no professional, but because I work in a school and have some knowledge of proper food.. parents tend to want their kids to talk to me since it's less scary.

Hmm.. so far, it's not easy.. because their cases were a lot severe. Often times they had to have counselling sessions with a psychologist on top of having me to watch out for them.

If you'd like some support and motivation, don't hesitate to PM me. *hugs*
 
...I seem welcomed :)
Anyways, thanks. To everyone. I couldn't appreciate it anymore, even though I could but thanks.

I my parent sever do divorce, I won't see the other half of my family. It's true.
 
Beastisbest10 said:
I my parent sever do divorce, I won't see the other half of my family. It's true.

That's pretty bad. You need to bring this issue up to your parents. This isn't the behavior of mature adults.
 
Dissident said:
Beastisbest10 said:
I my parent sever do divorce, I won't see the other half of my family. It's true.

That's pretty bad. You need to bring this issue up to your parents. This isn't the behavior of mature adults.

I do, but they don't stop. It's never gonna stop and that's why I try and avoid things..
 
Welcome, i can relate to what you described and i gotta say you aren't alone. I really think that you should try visiting some therapists, it might be awkward at first but they can give you best advices as they meet you in person. This forum can help you but being suicidal, depressed while having family problems is something that you must fight with therapists.
 
randomdude said:
Welcome, i can relate to what you described and i gotta say you aren't alone. I really think that you should try visiting some therapists, it might be awkward at first but they can give you best advices as they meet you in person. This forum can help you but being suicidal, depressed while having family problems is something that you must fight with therapists.

I'm trying to find a therapists, but my mother believes that --"ok"--.
 
Beastisbest10 said:
randomdude said:
Welcome, i can relate to what you described and i gotta say you aren't alone. I really think that you should try visiting some therapists, it might be awkward at first but they can give you best advices as they meet you in person. This forum can help you but being suicidal, depressed while having family problems is something that you must fight with therapists.

I'm trying to find a therapists, but my mother believes that --"ok"--.
Keep trying to find it you won't regret it. I wish you luck!
 

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