Taking advantage of the lonely, the isolated,....

This one has really been on my mind today. The long and short of it is I'm doing a pretty major repair to an elderly couples house (my act of random kindness this week). The thing I'm fixing is unsafe, poorly constructed, and they were charged a small fortune by a local "carpenter" (I call him a "hack" to his face- we don't get along). The old couple feel embarrassed and helpless (they keep apologizing to me for the inconvenience), its making me sad to see them being humbled this way.

Do any of you find yourselves being taken advantage of by trades, service people, co-workers, employers, etc., simply due to being lonely and 1). will do anything to gain attention, 2). feel timid and simply give in as there's no one to back you up, or 3). for any other reason?

Gotta be honest here, I'm really glad I've got to be responsible parent type of guy. I know where the hack likes to hang out and booze it up with his cronies, if I didn't have The Kid to take care of it would be totally tempting to go stir the pot and see if I could get a rise out of the jerk. I've had thoughts of grabbing him by the ear and dragging him up the road to the old folks but it won't accomplish anything.....(angry, frustrated sigh here...)

I'm really struggling with this....

WildernessWildChild said:

This one has really been on my mind today. The long and short of it is I'm doing a pretty major repair to an elderly couples house (my act of random kindness this week). The thing I'm fixing is unsafe, poorly constructed, and they were charged a small fortune by a local "carpenter" (I call him a "hack" to his face- we don't get along). The old couple feel embarrassed and helpless (they keep apologizing to me for the inconvenience), its making me sad to see them being humbled this way.

Do any of you find yourselves being taken advantage of by trades, service people, co-workers, employers, etc., simply due to being lonely and 1). will do anything to gain attention, 2). feel timid and simply give in as there's no one to back you up, or 3). for any other reason?

Gotta be honest here, I'm really glad I've got to be responsible parent type of guy. I know where the hack likes to hang out and booze it up with his cronies, if I didn't have The Kid to take care of it would be totally tempting to go stir the pot and see if I could get a rise out of the jerk. I've had thoughts of grabbing him by the ear and dragging him up the road to the old folks but it won't accomplish anything.....(angry, frustrated sigh here...)

I'm really struggling with this....

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I've been in similar situations...
But I'd rather say how great it is that you're helping them out.

I'm really struggling with this, too.
It makes me feel incredibly sad when these things happen.

The elderly, the disabled, and people who are isolated are very likely to be mistreated. I've even seen nurses mistreat patients in ways which seem illegal. It just isn't right. Good for you for being the bigger man and standing up for this elderly couple. That's very admirable.

I think this great that your doing it, although as my hero I am not surprised!

I would say just to make the folks aware that you are happy to help, maybe one day they can help you in some way - that way they may feel better and able to accept the help.

I wouldn't go after the other guy, it's not worth it from your point of view. Although loudly telling everyone who will listen what a bad job he's done, well thats just the truth.

I do not know if this happened because I live by myself and am female but I have been ripped off for about $8,000 by a contractor con man who lives a block way.

I found out later he has ripped off a ton of people and has been to jail. He is a felon.

I've taken him to court twice, won both times, but, of course he has not paid.

He offered to pay once but then changed his mind and became his ugly criminal self again.

Yes, it worries me that this happened to me. I was so good and respectful to him! I was so dumb! I never came across such a criminal, a person with such bad character before.

I am not sure he felt emboldened because I am by myself but I wouldn't be surprised if he did. I did fight back, though, something I am pretty sure he didn't expect me to do.

What is the worse thing? The authorities don't care. Even though I can point out he's done this at least a dozen times, even to the elderly, not one authority cares. It's all "civil" cases. Thus the con man knows how to work the system.

Meanwhile, I saw a punk steal bolt cutters from a hardware store. Immediately he gets put in the patrol car. But my guy, gets away with it because it's all "civil".

I really appreciate your kindness BC.
Yeah i do, for reason no.2 plus i often i find it hard to say "No".

Maybe isolation isn't the only factor in your example. Those generations would have grown up in an era of different values, perhaps they're less suspicious of tradesmen, sales people, people in general.

True, there's also a "how do I know if he's done a good or bad job?" factor?

I mean if there's something wrong with my car I could tell if it's been put right, but if there's something wrong with my roof...

Yes I've been in many situations like this. Good thing you helped and went out of your way!
I'm the kind of person too, I always want to help out anyway I can. Continue to be like that.
I struggle with it everyday myself, it's horrible how people treat others but don't stop being how you are.
Overtime I grew angry at the world and stopped talking to people based on how I saw others treat one another.
Glad I still continue to be the person I am. Don't change!
hugs!

That is an answer: certainly yes man. Look at China, fake food everywhere with poisons that could bring effect to a man's life forever.

I have a question in my head thinking for years. For years here I meant over 10 years. It is a simple question: Why some men is capable of doing such thing? Why? I just don't understand man.

I do not understand by then, I still don't understand now. But I do understand one logic, and I can tell you that.

Did you ever hear a story of this? This is a rather famous one.

A sibling's parents die.
A girl of this sibling met a handsome guy she likes a lot in the funeral.
So when the funeral ended, she go back home, took a knife, and stab it into her sister's heart.

The question is, why does she want to do that?

For people like you or me, the first time I tried to answer this question is:
It is because she envy her sister, and that handsome guy probably has a crush on her sister but not her. So she killed her.

But do you know what the answers criminals in the prison provided?
The answer is because if her sister die, she will have a funeral again. Then, she will be able to meet with that handsome guy once more.

Sounds very crippy isn't it? lol

You see, people like you and me, we always tried to reason with things, we follow logic, we tried to talk reasons into everything. Motives, intentions, emotions, bla bla bla. We are always tried to find an answer to a reason.

But there are people in this world, who do not think like that. They do not follow logic, they do not follow reasons. There is no such thing as logic or reason in their view of perspective.

From the way I see it, I make it simple for myself to understand:

If you put one group of people who always think for others, and another group always think of themselves together.
You will see one result.
The group which always think of themselves, will always take advantage on the group who always think for others.

In our points of view, we would be very angry of these men, and we do not understand why they are capable of doing such a thing.
But in their points of view, we are as stupid as a bunch of buffaloes, and they do not understand why we are capable of letting ourselves for being this stupid.

It is very frustrating isn't it? But hey, you have to realize one reality in the world we are living in. The world is not only the "hack" you know that exist on earth. There are millions, or even billions of them outside. You want to be angry? You would end up a terrorist who want to wipe the world clean with an Armageddon and see everyone on the planet's dead.

A person who always think for others, give an opening to the person who wants to take advantage on it. Its like a plus and a minus. That is the logic itself.




Being a good guy is not enough. Not enough to change the world.
The only way which can change this is involve yourself into the politic and bring the change yourself.

But did you ever see how many good guys go into politic?
Politic is dirty, I don't want to go there.
Good guys prefer low profile, they are happy helping someone whenever they can.

And how many bad guys in the politic?
Politic is a heaven, only idiots do not want to go there.
Bad guys always do something big, they are happy helping themselves, they works harder than everyone else.

Politic is not dirty. That's a wrong concept started by whoever from the wrong of the many who thought the way it should be. It is dirty because the good guys never want to go into "that place". Nothing will change if the good guys on earth still prefer to stay low profile not to dirty their hands in the mud of politics. This is the way how I see it. Although I do not like the bad guys, but I do not deny the truth. How can someone doing something small compete with someone doing something big? That is why in the view of a bad guy, the good guys always look stupid to them. Frustrating yes, but that's the way how I see truth is.

WildernessWildChild said:

Do any of you find yourselves being taken advantage of by trades, service people, co-workers, employers, etc., simply due to being lonely and 1). will do anything to gain attention, 2). feel timid and simply give in as there's no one to back you up, or 3). for any other reason?

I'm really struggling with this....

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This is a fact of life.

I was visiting my sister in Arizona. I was walking across a park, and a cop decided I was "running from him" so he chased after me by car and questioned me. I told him how I was visiting my sister, and walking across the park, and I felt paranoid because he was coming near. Eventually, he said "he doesn't fit the profile."

Had I not had a sister nearby, would he have dared to decide I was the person he was looking for and arrested the wrong guy?

My parents for about two years have tried to fix a leak in their roof. I live with them, and shudder to think how much worse things could be with disreputable types telling them "take it or leave it" with nobody there to back them up.

I toured the country a year ago, and found myself in an actual cult for about two days (I escaped, naturally, because I'm strong-willed, have a family that ultimately loves me, and have been alone enough times that I don't really need people). But the first tactic a cult uses is to separate you from friends and family.

Fonga, if you can't even construct a sentence properly in English, you shouldn't be telling us what is good or bad. Politics is inherently evil, the people who go into it are either delusional, money-grubbing, or dishonest (even to themselves) control-freaks. Politics is inherently evil, because it involves governing others, taxing others, and controlling others. People are not dogs, they don't need to be leashed. Tax is protection money, it used to be people would get robbed in the night, now we pay for police to do it in broad daylight. And government is only needed for roads, electric, and plumbing. Our town can't even manage that right, they tear up the roads and keep redoing the electric so as to pay themselves more, not fixing actual problems (we have a freaking phone pole that broke in an accident/storm, and they've let it hang like some messed up Damocles sword rather than remove it).

bulmabriefs144 said:

Fonga, if you can't even construct a sentence properly in English, you shouldn't be telling us what is good or bad.

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ummm....English isn't his/her first language. Sentence structure has ZERO to do with opinion stated and doesn't mean he/she can't state their opinion.
Sentence structure? Really?