wow, this sounds really painful. have you tried to explain to your husband how you feel and what's holding you back? i bet you could use his support.
something that has worked for me - just do it - no matter how scared you are (ok, clearly I mean reasonable things, no sense in trying to perform neurosurgery based on a pep talk) - you might be surprised at how competent, even great, you are! sometimes the less you do, the more freaked out you get. i was stuck out of the country from where was job was for six weeks becasue of a visa problem, by the time the bureaucratic debacle got sorted out, I was terrified to go back to work, terrified I couldn't handle it, that I was secretly a moron and now it would be exposed. thankfully I sucked it up, returned anyway and things are great, better than before I left.
give it a shot, you're probably surprise yourself. get a group of people around you who are willing to be supportive; find a teacher who can mentor you; talk to your old profs and see what advice they can offer.
in my experience, we always sell ourselves so short when we are capable of so much more! my friend has a book that has made a big difference for him: Feal the Fear and Do It Anyway. Just becasue you are afraid doesn't mean you can't do it! Sometimes emotions are unrelated to reality and it's important to remind yourself of that.
Go for it. You have nothing to lose and think of how great you are going to feel when you tackle this! I wish you all the luck and courage in the world!