I believe I'll stay single for the rest of my life.

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ippi

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I am currently 20 and have had several relationships beginning from my early teens. Though it kinda stopped at 19. I've been single for almost 2 years now and I've realized: I'm extremely picky. Not picky as in I need the most perfect Barbie I can find, but personality wise really.

I don't ever want kids, ever. I don't wish to get married, simply because I don't believe in marriage. I am only attracted to girls of a specific race(which does not need to mentioned) and I have been that way since I was a kid, I was never attracted to my own race for some reason. I don't like extremely outgoing people, nor people who are 24/7 overly happy. I could never date a religious girl(No offense to religious people on the forums), the list goes on...

I am socially awkward and I am really different from most guys, and I kinda doubt there is someone who I can actually be in a relationship with, or another way to say it; If there is, I doubt I'll ever meet that person.

Don't really know where this is going, but I think I'll die alone.:D

Thanks for reading.
 
...wry smile on the faces of anyone over 27 reading this.

How anyone feels at 20 doesn't foreshadow anything, because they're 20. You and what you want are likely to change.

Sounds patronising. Still true.
 
Is it just me or am I seeing a lot of posts with similar things on here? It almost seems like I keep seeing the same things but worded differently. LOL.
 
rdor said:
...I can imagine a wry smile on the faces of anyone over 27 reading this.

How you feel at 20 doesn't foreshadow anything, because... you're 20. What you want is likely to change.

That will sound patronising. Still true.
I know, I know. People change right? Because I've always been so different from everyone else, I know I am not like most people. That being said, will I change like other do?

I wish I had a more simple taste, but at the same time I don't. I mean... it's what I like right?


Mike413 said:
Is it just me or am I seeing a lot of posts with similar things on here? It almost seems like I keep seeing the same things but worded differently. LOL.
Well, pardon me then. My way of getting things off my chest mmkay?

Honestly I haven't actually read this section all that much, so I haven't seen a thread like this yet.
 
You are 20. Most people start dating at 20, don't be fooled by the media and society's perception.

Some even wait until their 30's. Lisa Kudrow was 32 before she first started dating, and I know there are other celebrities out there like that. Tina Fey was 24 before she kissed anyone. People evolve at different paces.

I am 30, and never have had a girlfriend, so you're ahead of me. Just because you don't feel anything happening in your love life doesn't mean it CAN'T happen. And when I was 20, I looked at dating completely different than I do now...which is probably why I never ended up with anything serious.
 
LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
You are 20. Most people start dating at 20, don't be fooled by the media and society's perception.

Some even wait until their 30's. Lisa Kudrow was 32 before she first started dating, and I know there are other celebrities out there like that. Tina Fey was 24 before she kissed anyone. People evolve at different paces.

I am 30, and never have had a girlfriend, so you're ahead of me. Just because you don't feel anything happening in your love life doesn't mean it CAN'T happen. And when I was 20, I looked at dating completely different than I do now...which is probably why I never ended up with anything serious.
I guess there's a thing I forgot to mention, somehow why it could be smart to wait until you're older when it comes to dating...

As the previous relationships ended I became more aware of what I don't want and what I don't like. So now I've come to point where I'm tunnel-visioned. I barely like anything now, and that's what is making it so hard. I can't really expect a girl to meet my expectations and at the same time expect me to meet hers, that's kinda what's bothering me.
 
ippi said:
I know, I know. People change right? Because I've always been so different from everyone else, I know I am not like most people. That being said, will I change like other do?

Yes, people change, situations change. Life's unpredictable, you meet people you never thought you will. You brain develops, your thoughts and perceptions will also develop. 20 and 26 and 32 etc etc.. different stages of thought and life. Things may still be the same.. but you.. you will likely think differently. Especially at 20.. still very young dude.
 
ladyforsaken said:
ippi said:
I know, I know. People change right? Because I've always been so different from everyone else, I know I am not like most people. That being said, will I change like other do?

Yes, people change, situations change. Life's unpredictable, you meet people you never thought you will. You brain develops, your thoughts and perceptions will also develop. 20 and 26 and 32 etc etc.. different stages of thought and life. Things may still be the same.. but you.. you will likely think differently. Especially at 20.. still very young dude.
Well, in my country it's extremely hard. Considering I hate how the majority of people are here. fml
 
I'm never 24 and never had a girlfriend, and have seriously questioned my capability of ever having one.

You've been in relationships, so it's very likely you'll be in one again. If I was 20 and have had several relationships already, I would consider myself overachieving.
 
ippi said:
I am currently 20 and have had several relationships beginning from my early teens. Though it kinda stopped at 19. I've been single for almost 2 years now and I've realized: I'm extremely picky. Not picky as in I need the most perfect Barbie I can find, but personality wise really.

I don't ever want kids, ever. I don't wish to get married, simply because I don't believe in marriage. I am only attracted to girls of a specific race(which does not need to mentioned) and I have been that way since I was a kid, I was never attracted to my own race for some reason. I don't like extremely outgoing people, nor people who are 24/7 overly happy. I could never date a religious girl(No offense to religious people on the forums), the list goes on...

I am socially awkward and I am really different from most guys, and I kinda doubt there is someone who I can actually be in a relationship with, or another way to say it; If there is, I doubt I'll ever meet that person.

Don't really know where this is going, but I think I'll die alone.:D

Thanks for reading.
I've only ever had one girlfriend and she was as socially awkward as I am, so like you I'm not attracted to extremely outgoing types. Everyone I see in relationships seem to be reasonably outgoing people so I doubt my personality would ensure many women would gravitate towards me. In short, you're not alone in having this mentality haha.
 
Mike413 said:
Is it just me or am I seeing a lot of posts with similar things on here? It almost seems like I keep seeing the same things but worded differently. LOL.

Do you not know the theme of this site? Regardless of age, people can feel lonely at any point in life.
 
ippi said:
Not picky as in I need the most perfect Barbie I can find, but personality wise really.
nothing wrong with being picky, we all have preferences. you just have to realize the reality and the odds in your favor. should you continue to have your preferences, then you have your preferences.

ippi said:
I don't wish to get married, simply because I don't believe in marriage.
thats cliche. and the meaning is twisted by the society. Marriage originally was for love (traditionally), but depending on where you live it's pretty much for legal purposes rather than love. so, in your case, you should actually consider marriage because it will save you money (a lot of money). if you still think marriage is ONLY for love, i will agree with others that you are still young. (no offense to anyone with other views of marriage, you can see it however you want) and you know.. even if for love - marriage, the representation of, is no different than matching lockets, bracelets, or whatever other 'pairs of items' you believe in. So if you dont believe in marriage, you wont ever buy flowers, give gifts for love, simply because you dont really believe in "a piece of paper".

--

in the end.. you do what you want (in this case finding YOUR perfect girl). you just have to accept the outcome of your choices, whatever that may be (1 in 1 billion?).
 
Regumika said:
ippi said:
I don't wish to get married, simply because I don't believe in marriage.
thats cliche. and the meaning is twisted by the society. Marriage originally was for love (traditionally), but depending on where you live it's pretty much for legal purposes rather than love. so, in your case, you should actually consider marriage because it will save you money (a lot of money). if you still think marriage is ONLY for love, i will agree with others that you are still young. (no offense to anyone with other views of marriage, you can see it however you want) and you know.. even if for love - marriage, the representation of, is no different than matching lockets, bracelets, or whatever other 'pairs of items' you believe in. So if you dont believe in marriage, you wont ever buy flowers, give gifts for love, simply because you dont really believe in "a piece of paper".

I also don't care for marriage. I don't believe that people who are in love with each other have to marry in order for their love to be recognized. I suppose it would be okay if that's what you like, and if that's what you've always envisioned yourself doing. But for people such as myself, it just doesn't hold a meaning to anything.

I've given gifts though, and I've received a few, so that line doesn't make any sense to me.
 
VanillaCreme said:
I don't believe that people who are in love with each other have to marry in order for their love to be recognized.
This was the point i was trying to clear. The one twisted by society.

traditionally, in a relationship, you have a vow/promise to the other (and you do it together). that was all it was. Sometimes you have a ritual, a feast, whatever. then someone labeled it marriage. So it was like Vow -> marriage.
however, today it seems like it is backwards. you have marriage then vow. so marriage -> vow. plus, the meaning of the vow seems to have diminished over time, and is continually diminishing as a whole in society. (not to say that there arent still people that really understands love and vow).

VanillaCreme said:
I've given gifts though, and I've received a few, so that line doesn't make any sense to me.
i was trying to say that the current 'marriage' is less of a vow than a proof/label. the society has degraded so much as to popularize the act of vow/promise and diminish its meaning.

so a piece of paper isnt 'proof' that you love [me]. well, neither is your gift to me a proof that you love [me], right? thats what i was trying to say about gifts. *this only applies if we are speaking of marriage as a label.

i am to think that those that say they dont believe in marriage are speaking about the current meaning of 'marriage'.
i guess in the end.. it would be required to define which 'marriage' do you not believe in. the traditional or the current view.
 
Regumika said:
VanillaCreme said:
I've given gifts though, and I've received a few, so that line doesn't make any sense to me.
i was trying to say that the current 'marriage' is less of a vow than a proof/label. the society has degraded so much as to popularize the act of vow/promise and diminish its meaning.

so a piece of paper isnt 'proof' that you love [me]. well, neither is your gift to me a proof that you love [me], right? thats what i was trying to say about gifts. *this only applies if we are speaking of marriage as a label.

i am to think that those that say they dont believe in marriage are speaking about the current meaning of 'marriage'.
i guess in the end.. it would be required to define which 'marriage' do you not believe in. the traditional or the current view.


Personally, I'm talking about any meaning of marriage. Throughout the centuries, marriage has been for different reasons. Love, wars, legal reasons, old-fashion old-tymers thinking that it's what people are "supposed" to do... Any reason. I just don't care for the idea in general, so I see the point of view when people say they don't believe in it. The label of being "married" just doesn't appeal to me.

Now, I know (personally) a lot of people - mostly females - who can't wait to call their man a husband, and I don't really understand this. I don't see what's better about the title of "husband" over the title of boyfriend or guy or man or dude, or whatever. My own cousin spews that word out of her mouth when she's talking about her husband. And it's like, so what? I'm not with him. Why do I care what he is to anyone?

Mind you, I'm with someone who was raised in that traditional sense of you're supposed to get married. And he even tells me (when I tell him that I'm not getting married), "That's what you think." So, he was raised in that sense.

Proof of love to me is being there for someone, caring about someone, showing them that you do care by doing little things, and of course walking through life with them. Paper, rings, bracelets, necklaces, or any other type of physical means isn't proof to me at all. Giving and receiving gifts, honestly, is just a perk. I just don't like the fact that a lot of people associate being in love with eventually getting married.
 
You're twenty, my friend. Life is just beginning. I haven't had many relationships up until now, I turn 21 today. I'm not worried about it. Opportunities will present themselves.
 
One day you will wake up and realized that having a girlfriend isn't so important !
Probably happen when your 30.
 
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