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I am a loser and i am the biggest shit a mortal could be.
#11
I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I used to self hate myself all the time based on what others said about me.
I'm not sure if that's the case or not though cause I've been away from the forum from some time trying to get myself back on my feet again. If you need to vent or a friend to talk too, feel free to pm me.
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#12
(04-29-2013, 06:19 AM)WallflowerGirl83 Wrote: I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I used to self hate myself all the time based on what others said about me.
I'm not sure if that's the case or not though cause I've been away from the forum from some time trying to get myself back on my feet again. If you need to vent or a friend to talk too, feel free to pm me.
My bullies are the ones that made me think about myself in the first place, not that i say they are good or anything but they actually pinpointed what i was lacking and i understand it now better than ever.
A snake that crawled on the earth, dreaming of soaring through the sky... knowing full well it was impossible. Still, hoping beyond hope, it kept its eye on a baby bird that it nurtured in its own nest... little realizing that actually... That snake is prey because that bird is a hawk... ready to take to the sky!
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#13
Yeah bullies are always good at finding other people's inadequacies :/
You came to me
To be free, to be you.
So now you should see
What's right in front of you, what's right in front of me

Break Down - Daiki Kasho
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#14
(04-29-2013, 08:04 AM)jzinsky Wrote: Yeah bullies are always good at finding other people's inadequacies :/

If your current therapist isn't helping, find a new one. I was having the same problem, then my insurance ran out so technically, I guess I don't have that problem anymore. It can take a while to find someone who's intelligent enough and who's a good fit, or so I've been told. People vary, so it stands to reason that therapist do too. I have the same issue with my hip to shoulder ratio, except reversed because I'm female. I also don't like my face or any other part of my body except my hands. I don't hate myself though, just my circumstances. It's not my fault that I look this way. Some people don't find me attractive and others do and if anyone was bold enough to speak to me the way you speak about yourself, I'd verbally tear them apart because I love myself, just as I would do that for anyone else I love. As I get older, (and I'm not trying to sound condescending like I'm so much wiser, I just happened to have experienced getting older) I don't feel the need to be accepted by everyone anymore. Just a few good people or even one. I don't feel like I have to prove myself to fit in. I feel like it's just as much of a privelege for someone else to be let into my world as being let into someone else's. We're biologically programmed to care more what others think of us when were younger.What they say becomes truth in our minds even though someones opinion can't be objectively true by definition. But with every passing decade, you'll care a little bit less. That's how human biology works. Incidentally, I dated a guy who's hips were wider than his shoulders and he was really sexy. That's another thing I've noticed. Perfect people start to look more and more boring. Almost sterile in their perfect good looks. It's not that their beauty isn't appreciated, but genetic diversity is also valued.

Ha. I guess I put that in the wrong boxToungue
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#15
Indeed, who wants a model that can't work a tv remote? Big Grin
You came to me
To be free, to be you.
So now you should see
What's right in front of you, what's right in front of me

Break Down - Daiki Kasho
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#16
You need therapy.

And considering homosexuality bad is probably the reason why you are so unhappy. There is nothing wrong with being gay, except that you're not. Accept that you're not, and work from there.

Stop beating yourself up.
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi
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#17
(04-30-2013, 09:25 AM)LeaningIntoTheMuse Wrote: You need therapy.

And considering homosexuality bad is probably the reason why you are so unhappy. There is nothing wrong with being gay, except that you're not. Accept that you're not, and work from there.

Stop beating yourself up.
I have nothing against homosexuality and i would gladly turn gay if my orientation changes at some point. My point was.. Imagine how awkward would it be if i started talking homo things in front of my whole family while i am sleeping or maybe talking about that i've mixed meds, weed and alcohol. Awkward!
A snake that crawled on the earth, dreaming of soaring through the sky... knowing full well it was impossible. Still, hoping beyond hope, it kept its eye on a baby bird that it nurtured in its own nest... little realizing that actually... That snake is prey because that bird is a hawk... ready to take to the sky!
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