fear of getting fired

isthatso · Apr 30, 2013

I'm an old geyser, 55 in fact. The fear of losing my current job is stressing me out to the point that I am making mistakes at work. Don't necessarily love my work but don't hate it either. Thing is, the pay is good. Very hard, nigh impossible to replace.
Find I have to find new ways to motivate myself all the time. Quiet periods on nightshift got me in trouble as I overused the Net. (not porn

) Now I have to deal with gossip and a few difficult relationships at work.
They say when life is tough, the tough get going. You know, that cliche has always proved how untough I am. I'm soft. Too soft. I just want to run away. And that must sound so weak to you younger ones, expecting us older ones to be role-models. But some of us never grow up I guess.

quintus · Apr 30, 2013

You shouldn't worry about the role-model failure. Personally I never considered a person as a role-model just because said person is older than me. And, oh yes- some of us never grow up indeed. Whatever growing up may be.
You want to run away? That is a perfectly normal reaction to an unpleasant situation. The point is: you don't! Now there is this viscious circle thing: You fear to loose your job. That fear stresses you, you make mistakes and that heightens the risk of loosing your job...knowing that, you get more stressed. Don't you think it's time to chill out a bit? Would you be able to step back a couple of meters and watch yourself at work? Your reaction on others? Their reaction on you? The way you do your work? I mean, just try to get a more or less objective view at yourself and your actions and reactions. Gossip is always a very silly thing. But difficulties in the relationship with your collegues may be smoothed by simply communicating with them. Of course I now nothing about your actual situation and your normal relationship with your co-workers. But usually a very open but friendly word helps to put matters back to normal. Perhaps after work over a glass of...whatever.

Sci-Fi · Apr 30, 2013

If you are worrying about getting fired to the point you are making mistakes you will get fired. All you can do is try to put that thought out of your mind and focus on your work, do the best you can and not make too many mistakes. Don't give them a reason to fire you give them a reason not to.

perfanoff · Apr 30, 2013

^ there's two ways to approach this problem

1. Don't give them a reason to fire you
2. Give them a reason not to

Go with #2

isthatso · Apr 30, 2013

quintus, sci fi, perfanoff
thanks for taking an interest guys,
that means so much
your encouragement is going to help enormously
I am buoyed up by your positivism
I will hang on for dear life

WL7.3 · Apr 30, 2013

I have a learning disability and am a nervous person around people so jobs are hard for me, but what I've done in the past is use every bit of my consciousness and strength (and I'm definitely the type to run away and am very sensitive), my whole being, even when not at work, to be a valuable employee, so that any short comings I have are outweighed by my dedication and work ethic. I maximize any strengths that I have and find creative ways to compensate for my weaknesses. I don't know what kind of job you have but maybe you can adapt this example: If I'm bad at operating the phones, I clean the store when business is slow and everyone else is smoking cigarettes and my boss didn't ask me. Some people can't get along, I'm kind to everyone and never talk behind anyones back. If can't remember how something is done, I stay after hours and take notes, then study them at home. I go out of my way to help others when I can even though it's not required.

Despite the mistakes I make, and how slow I learn, my managers always end up saying I'm one one of there best employees and they trust me.

So if you got caught slacking, focus your entire being into doing the opposite, you won't have time to be scared and if it doesn't work out in the end, you won't be able to regret not trying harder.

isthatso · Apr 30, 2013

WL 7.3

What your post reveals is a genuine humility, which I think is the key to my problem. Your attitude is great and my ego and complacency have got me in trouble. I will learn from you!!

ladyforsaken · May 1, 2013

Hey isthatso. I hope that you continue to keep strong and don't give up. All the best.

Poguesy · May 1, 2013

Just keep calm and eat some beans.

WL7.3 · May 3, 2013

isthatso said:
WL 7.3

What your post reveals is a genuine humility, which I think is the key to my problem. Your attitude is great and my ego and complacency have got me in trouble. I will learn from you!!

Thanks. My ego and complacency are my biggest pitfalls. I'm usually at my best in desperate situations. We can be susceptible to the greatest danger in times of ease and comfort. Thanks for the reminder. I'll watch my back.

perfanoff · May 3, 2013

WL7.3 said:
I have a learning disability and am a nervous person around people so jobs are hard for me, but what I've done in the past is use every bit of my consciousness and strength (and I'm definitely the type to run away and am very sensitive), my whole being, even when not at work, to be a valuable employee, so that any short comings I have are outweighed by my dedication and work ethic. I maximize any strengths that I have and find creative ways to compensate for my weaknesses. I don't know what kind of job you have but maybe you can adapt this example: If I'm bad at operating the phones, I clean the store when business is slow and everyone else is smoking cigarettes and my boss didn't ask me. Some people can't get along, I'm kind to everyone and never talk behind anyones back. If can't remember how something is done, I stay after hours and take notes, then study them at home. I go out of my way to help others when I can even though it's not required.

Despite the mistakes I make, and how slow I learn, my managers always end up saying I'm one one of there best employees and they trust me.

So if you got caught slacking, focus your entire being into doing the opposite, you won't have time to be scared and if it doesn't work out in the end, you won't be able to regret not trying harder.

Seriously respect man. I taught a guy in a similar situation? in my physics class. I felt pressured on the one hand to give him a much more lenient treatment and on the other hand he was making triple the effort than other people. I have to say this was painful for me, shattering his dreams to become a scientist or acknowledging his great effort as a result. I gather it was nothing compared to what HE was going through.

I'm very glad for you that you haven't given up and are even a valued employee at your work.

isthatso · Sep 29, 2023

Another good thread. I was a better person 10 years ago.

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