What Breaks Your Heart? (Seriously)

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dn560 said:
the girl of your dreams with a guy better than you

I think the girl of your dreams with a guy worse than you is worse lol


Anyways basically almost everything that was mentioned since page one, breaks my heart XD
Yeah I know, little is needed.. but hey, I am the best at glueing the fragments :p
 
Humans.

Namely, our blatant disregard for each other. I watch a lot and I see a lot people throw away a lot of feelings.
I hear a lot of kids bitching and complaining about parents. I know that sounds rather silly and insignificant but I just can't help but see that they don't know what they have and that one day, they won't be there.
Whether their calling to give you honeysuckle about drinking or doing drugs or not doing your homework or your chores or whatever, it's just because they care. You are the one thing in this entire planet that can make or break their entire world - that they would do the most unbearable thing just to make sure that you are happy and safe. You aren't just an annoyance, but the whole reason their lives go on, day after day.
I didn't grow up with that. I was nothing but a heartbroken regret the day I was born. I watch mothers nurture and care and I still can't help but wonder what it must be like. To know that no matter what, you won't ever find someone who can truly love you like that. I can imagine, but I won't ever know.
And it hurts, watching it get thrown back in their faces, because it's something that should be treasured and God, I wish I could. I just wish they could all stop and see and realise. I guess it hurts for the day when they wake up to find out that it's all gone, because you don't get a do-over.

And I have no idea what is wrong with me. I used to be able to brush ot off and hold it in but now the slightest thing is enough to send my emotions on a rampage. I don't know what's wrong with me other then I'm falling apart and I need to find my shell again because I'm a mess.

I just wish we weren't so easy to throw away.
 
Bittersweet outcomes, where it was so close, maybe even once idyllic but it simply won't, or can't, work anymore.

It's both beautiful, real, yet depressing, and heartbreaking. You wish with all your heart it wouldn't turn out this way, but you know it wouldn't mean anything or have any impact without it.

You have to accept that it's exactly because it wound up like this that it has any impact at all.

So I guess to me, even something that is heartbreaking can also be a little bit.... touching, in a way?
Might be weird to understand, but it's why I generally even like to try to write such feelings in fiction, because of how thought-provoking and powerful (and relatable) such feelings are.
 
The shallow and simple nature of our social construct and that many are more inclined to just let it be as such and follow directions rather than attempt to tinker with its mechanisms. I find it to be more like an artifice that keeps people from having to think for themselves most of the time. For many people though, that's comfortable. A lot of people don't want to think because it causes conflict between their thoughts and their feelings. It does with me as well, I just...have learned the hard way that listening to my feelings instead of my thoughts often leads me to a great deal of unnecessary pain had I just done it the other way around instead. The emphasis that American culture has on designer materialism and commercialism is also a large part of that problem though. Or to put it simply: When people will trample other people to death in a Wal-Mart Black Friday sale, that says a lot about how messed up things are in this country. There's also been a recent news story about a couple of younger kids, late teens to early 20s, wherein one kid actually murdered the other kid over his Playstation 4, assuming the victim to be the thief. That's why I don't watch the news, because it's pretty much always depressing. I get it: You lost some expensive electronic equipment, it's happened to me before, but ******* honeysuckle I didn't murder someone for it. That something so fake as a virtually designed world can hold such strength over another person to dilute a person to throw their life away entirely over it, is beyond me. A lot of people kill each other over really stupid stuff in the U.S. In Texas a while back, there were a father and son arguing over trash with their neighbors, a husband and wife. Grown men, 22 I think, and 43-50, arguing with another 40-50 year old couple about trash pickup and location. I think like a bed mattress or frame or something. Anyway, it got out of hand and the father and son actually shot and killed the man they lived next door to....over a dispute about trash and a heated argument....like how dumb can you get?? These sorts of things, a complete and total lack of characteristic depth and meaning, these are the kinds of things that break my heart. That's why I don't like stupid people, or people that habitually do highly risky stupid things. I'm not exactly Mr. Abide By The Law myself, but I don't let myself get that out of control and messed up, you know? I mean, outside of work I predominately live in one room. Even back when I lived in a 2/1 apartment with my ex when she was basically never home I still, pretty much only lived in one room. Obviously, kitchen and shower and grocery store runs are a thing but I feel no need really, to be in the living room, or dining room, for example. Every now and then I'll slip outside to the garage or back yard to smoke and think, but that's only if the weather's right and the drones aren't making their circles on patrol. I kinda feel like the world is becoming more and more dangerous around me and so I'm less and less inclined to partake in its shenanigans.
 
My nephew choosing to spend most of Christmas Day alone in his room playing video games. I don't blame him tbh, but it just seemed really sad.
 

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