I Hate Feeling So Lonely

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*Sammy*

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My Own Personal Hell (UK, England)
I really sometimes wish i could just be happy to be alone. From my life experience i have been hurt more times then i wish to count and i find it very hard to trust people around me because of it.

In truth most of the time i prefer being alone without the complication of other people but i find there are those times when the social need peeks its head and these are moments i really hate.

Don't get me wrong i am not saying i do not enjoy contact with people via things such as this forum for example I have always felt more comfortable talking to people online then face to face.

What i mean is those moments when i am sitting at home alone and my mind says 'right i want you to find a friend to go out and have a coffee with or something'. I don't have any friends like that. Most people i know live miles and miles away and its those moments i hate so much.

I'm sorry i am rambling and i don't really know what point it is i am trying to make just wanted to vent some feelings i guess.

Although i do have one question.

If you had the choice to remove the 'lonely' gene from your brain would you? Now i'm not saying you wouldn't be able to enjoy love or company for other people but just that if you choose to sit at home and not want to see anyone for days, weeks, months... in the end that loneliness wouldn't come and creep up on you like a hit from a truck?
 
I understand what you mean. It can be an awful feeling. As for your question, I think my brain is already messed up enough; it doesn't need any more tinkering :p
 
*Sammy* said:
I really sometimes wish i could just be happy to be alone. From my life experience i have been hurt more times then i wish to count and i find it very hard to trust people around me because of it.

In truth most of the time i prefer being alone without the complication of other people but i find there are those times when the social need peeks its head and these are moments i really hate.

Don't get me wrong i am not saying i do not enjoy contact with people via things such as this forum for example I have always felt more comfortable talking to people online then face to face.

What i mean is those moments when i am sitting at home alone and my mind says 'right i want you to find a friend to go out and have a coffee with or something'. I don't have any friends like that. Most people i know live miles and miles away and its those moments i hate so much.

I'm sorry i am rambling and i don't really know what point it is i am trying to make just wanted to vent some feelings i guess.

Although i do have one question.

If you had the choice to remove the 'lonely' gene from your brain would you? Now i'm not saying you wouldn't be able to enjoy love or company for other people but just that if you choose to sit at home and not want to see anyone for days, weeks, months... in the end that loneliness wouldn't come and creep up on you like a hit from a truck?

I know the feeling. I moved away for school a little under a year ago, leaving behind many close friends. I've made a few friends/acquaintances here, but its still mostly surface, nothing that deep. And with the summer, most people have gone home. So, it gets pretty quiet.

Usually I try to keep myself busy with reading, occasional video games, television, playing guitar, going on walks (though I admit, a few of the stuff on the list are more time-wasters than anything else haha), but you're right, the loneliness does surface up at times.
 
I wouldn't want to. I'd rather be alone than hang around and be like them mainstream people. I'd rather do my own thing.. people waste time too much by gossiping or going to unnecessary places when together. I don't like that.
 
As great as no loneliness (and brain surgery!) sounds, I think I'd pass. I've gotten pretty bored with myself.
 
ladyforsaken said:
I wouldn't want to. I'd rather be alone than hang around and be like them mainstream people. I'd rather do my own thing.. people waste time too much by gossiping or going to unnecessary places when together. I don't like that.

Interesting... let's say, hypothetically, if a bunch of people with the same mindset/interests as you came together... how do you think you all will act as a group?
 
hye345 said:
ladyforsaken said:
I wouldn't want to. I'd rather be alone than hang around and be like them mainstream people. I'd rather do my own thing.. people waste time too much by gossiping or going to unnecessary places when together. I don't like that.

Interesting... let's say, hypothetically, if a bunch of people with the same mindset/interests as you came together... how do you think you all will act as a group?

Probably be doing our own thing. If it's a group task, I'd probably try to keep it together and try to get along with the others.
 
I also hate feeling so lonely but I can't say if I would want my lonely gene removed. I've never thought about it before. It does sound nice though... to not have that terrible lonely feeling where you don't even know what to do with yourself.
 
I'd like to think that there's a balance, because I don't like to feel lonely, and on the flip side I wouldn't like to feel as though I had to rely on someone to feel comfortable or happy.

So 50/50.
 
I don't have much of a problem of being alone and doing my own thing, however there are times when I wish that more people would pay attention to me and invite me out with them.

I don't see my friends very often and I've tried to make new friends on several occasions with very little success, but I just can't really understand why. I just want to be liked and loved eventually. (I wish that a relationship wasn't a priority to me, but no matter how hard I try not to think about one, the more that I do which leads to negative thoughts such as 'what is wrong with me?')

I wish that I knew half of what goes on in my mind to begin with.
 
*Sammy* said:


If you had the choice to remove the 'lonely' gene from your brain would you? Now i'm not saying you wouldn't be able to enjoy love or company for other people but just that if you choose to sit at home and not want to see anyone for days, weeks, months... in the end that loneliness wouldn't come and creep up on you like a hit from a truck?

I understand, today has been like that for me. However, with the exception of my close family, I can't think of anyone that I would've wanted to spend the day with. Lately (think 2 years or so), I just seem to meet people that I have absolutely nothing in common with. Not a thing! Still, I miss having friends, which brings me to your question.

I'm pretty sure I'm already on my way to becoming a hermit, so not being able to feel lonely might make me even more of a recluse. Or I might finally be free to live my life! Sometimes, I feel really self-conscious about being alone and not being like everyone else, which just makes me feel and act awkward around people. I also no longer do some of the things I like doing, because they seem easier to do with someone else. So yes, I would definitely have that gene removed, ASAP! :)


ladyforsaken said:
hye345 said:
ladyforsaken said:
I wouldn't want to. I'd rather be alone than hang around and be like them mainstream people. I'd rather do my own thing.. people waste time too much by gossiping or going to unnecessary places when together. I don't like that.

Interesting... let's say, hypothetically, if a bunch of people with the same mindset/interests as you came together... how do you think you all will act as a group?

Probably be doing our own thing. If it's a group task, I'd probably try to keep it together and try to get along with the others.

Just speaking for myself, I would say that we would get along really well, mainly because we would understand each other. That used to be my main problem with my "normal" friends. None of them could understand that I sometimes just felt like doing stuff alone and being alone. I can't handle people around me all the time, not at work and definitely not at home.

Most people don't get that though. They can't or won't accept the fact that someone wants to do things alone. It's like you being a loner is a personal insult to them or something. That's why some of those people would actually pick on or bully a quiet or secluded person, despite the fact that he/she is practically invisible. It's insane!
 
Hearmenow2012 said:
I wish that more people would pay attention to me and invite me out with them.

^^ This completely i have wanted this all my life since i settled in England with my family in 1997 i have never been the person that people would call on for a night out. I would have killed for someone to give me a call tonight and ask to go out for a drink. I even tried calling a few people but they didn't answer or were too busy.

I completely understand where you're coming form with the trying to make friends and want to be liked thing too.... i guess its those parts of me that because i cant satisfy them i sometimes just want to rip them out


@ Baka, i'll take out yours you take out mine? lol
 
Lol I would give up 90% of modern comforts to be rid of my lonely gene (only 90% because, y'know, modern medicine, that can stay). I mean, I'm not able to enjoy any alone time. No matter what I do it just feels like a sad distraction. I honestly don't know how anyone finds anything they do by themselves meaningful.
 
Yonghy said:
I honestly don't know how anyone finds anything they do by themselves meaningful.

Somethings i can very much enjoy being by myself as well as with others. Its the times that i almost feel i 'need' other people in my life when i find myself not bothering to do anything.

I'm taking steps to change that though like tomorrow night i wanted to go to the cinema and watch a film no one will go with me so i'm doing something i have never done before, i'm going on my own!

I just hope i enjoy it xD
 
*Sammy* said:
Its the times that i almost feel i 'need' other people in my life when i find myself not bothering to do anything.

Yea, I never don't feel like that. Do you know why you only sometimes need people? I would love to get to that point.

*Sammy* said:
I'm taking steps to change that though like tomorrow night i wanted to go to the cinema and watch a film no one will go with me so i'm doing something i have never done before, i'm going on my own!

I just hope i enjoy it xD
Haha I've done that. It's fun if you can get over the feeling that literally everyone in the theatre is looking at you. Then it's really good.
 
*Sammy* said:
Yonghy said:
I honestly don't know how anyone finds anything they do by themselves meaningful.

Somethings i can very much enjoy being by myself as well as with others. Its the times that i almost feel i 'need' other people in my life when i find myself not bothering to do anything.

I'm taking steps to change that though like tomorrow night i wanted to go to the cinema and watch a film no one will go with me so i'm doing something i have never done before, i'm going on my own!

I just hope i enjoy it xD

I hope that you enjoy going to the cinema :) What are you going to see? If I lived near you. I would go with you :) I generally try to distract myself with whatever possible, but there usually comes a time when I wish I was within the company of others or I think about relationships even when I'm enjoying. Sometimes I just do things to kill time though.
 
Yonghy said:
Yea, I never don't feel like that. Do you know why you only sometimes need people? I would love to get to that point.

You and me both, sometimes i can be quite happy alone then other times i feel like i really need someone there for a while but then after time i just feel i want to be alone again. I don't know why this is, i have been thinking is it something to do with the moving around i did when a child. I'd make friends move away lose them then be alone before trying to make more, move lose them etc etc...


Hearmenow2012 said:
I hope that you enjoy going to the cinema :) What are you going to see? If I lived near you. I would go with you :) I generally try to distract myself with whatever possible, but there usually comes a time when I wish I was within the company of others or I think about relationships even when I'm enjoying. Sometimes I just do things to kill time though.

Thanks hun, i haven't made up my mind yet but Fast and Furious 6 will prob win cant say no to Vin D nom nom nom.

Ha yeah maybe i should throw it out there anyone on from from UK wanna come B'ham city center for a film night? Popcorn is on me! :D
 
If I lived anywhere near Birmingham, I'd take you up on that offer. I haven't been to the cinema in ages and I hate going alone - I can't get over that 'everyone is looking at me' feeling.

I don't know if I'd get rid of my loneliness gene. If I don't feel lonely, then I have no motivation to meet others, and without other people my life would have very little meaning.
 
*Sammy* said:
You and me both, sometimes i can be quite happy alone then other times i feel like i really need someone there for a while but then after time i just feel i want to be alone again. I don't know why this is, i have been thinking is it something to do with the moving around i did when a child. I'd make friends move away lose them then be alone before trying to make more, move lose them etc etc...

Hmm, maybe you're an introvert, I heard moving a lot when you're young can do that. Do you know you're myers Briggs?


Thanks hun, i haven't made up my mind yet but Fast and Furious 6 will prob win cant say no to Vin D nom nom nom.

Ha yeah maybe i should throw it out there anyone on from from UK wanna come B'ham city center for a film night? Popcorn is on me! :D

I would but there's a little ocean in the way. I think Silver Linings Playbook is on the agenda for me tonight...again lol.
 

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