Parent(s)'s Verbal Abuse

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Mine have. My mother called me useless one time. They get angry at me for my mental problems. :( I don't even have a self-esteem anymore.
 
Yeah. I got it my whole life.
I grew up with my parents telling me what I did was never good enough. Always being compared with people who were better than me even when I know now, I was doing great.
I remember when I was 10 or 11... I had an A in everything except P.E./Sports the first thing my mum said when she saw the report card was "Why can't you be more like Steven? I heard he got an A in Sports."

Over time... It just got worse, as I got to high school my parents told me that I couldn't do a job I enjoyed, I had to do a job that made money.
I got told that I was studying the wrong things, Histories and English were useless that I should study Sciences and Maths instead.
My sexuality was questioned by my parents for years because I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 19 - 20. They thought I was gay for the longest time, sometimes they still do.
Even AFTER I got a girlfriend, my parents told me she was too good for me. That I'd pulled a girl who was "out of my league" and that I should cherish the time I have until she dumps me for someone better, because I'm not gonna be able to date anyone as hot as her again.

My whole life my parents have said "You think your life is tough! Back in my day, if we did something wrong in class we got caned! You just get yelled at."
Not knowing that mental pain is much harder to recover from than physical.
"You think it's hard to get a job now? When I was younger, I had to get a job 3 towns over because we didn't have any positions!"
Because they lived in a small country town, with a small population that wasn't very job friendly.
"Why don't you just move out? Rent an apartment? I was 16 when I lived on my own. Stop making excuses."
Right. Because when you were young, houses cost $30,000 to buy and your rent was $100 a week.
Houses for me cost upwards of $400,000 and rent for me is $385 a week.

I have low self-esteem because of it. I try my best to fight it, but I can't always get through it.
I have low self-worth, and terrible confidence because every time I've been proud of something, or built something up I was told it wasn't good enough.

That's why I had to get away, I couldn't handle always been put down, told I wasn't good enough to make my parents feel better about themselves. So I left. I rarely talk to them now, but I'm a much happier person than I was before.
My self-esteem is miles ahead of what it was a year ago, and my confidence in ALL aspects of life is always improving.
 
I am sorry to hear that. No child deserves to be treated like that. There was no excuse for your parents to treat you like that. Everyone is smart in their own ways. I hope that someday you can find a way to raise your self esteem.
 
ZynischeWirklichkeit said:
Mine have. My mother called me useless one time. They get angry at me for my mental problems. :( I don't even have a self-esteem anymore.

My Mum has said things like 'you should look at yourself sometimes', she makes me feel like crap in regards to what is going on inside my head, once when I was offered a job she kept saying 'it is only 10 hours' and she tried to pair me off with somebody once whilst we were at the pub together a couple of years ago, but that was more humiliating than anything else.

I try not to listen to her because i believe that I am doing better than she gives me credit for. She usually puts me down when she has been drinking (heavily).

I'm sorry to hear what you have all gone through. I hope that you are all able to deal with it positively and come out the other side a better person as a result.
 
My parents have passed on many years ago, but I still 'hear' my mum's voice in my head putting me down. Dad praised me, but it didn't take hold as mum's voice was to me far stronger.
 
Yes. And it caused me one issue/insecurity I just have a hard time fixing until now.
 
I'm with Scotsman, and it's one of those most things I'm greatfull for.
 
OH god yea I have been put down all my life... when I was younger it was verbal abuse like "go die" or "go rot in hell" things like that, now its more criticism, like "you are fat" like someone else ive had the one "its only 8 hour a week job get a proper job" and stuff like that.. I have been called every name & insult you can possibly think of, everything I do has to be criticised.. everything,. I blame my parents for my anxiety disorder and me drinking so heavily..
 
Story of my life. A lot of parents genuinely believe that by constantly criticizing every decision and comparing their achievements to those of others, they are motivating their children to succeed in life. Some of these kids turn out okay and are appreciative of their parents' sacrifices, while others become resentful adults with chronic self-esteem issues. I've been the latter for a long time but hopefully am in the process of moving past it.

I've noticed my parents softening up their approach with my younger sister though, so there's a good chance she won't end up partially broken like I was. Good for her.
 
From the moment i was born, my mother has talked down on me. I don't call it verbal abuse, since that's a big word. However it is primarily what made me feel like a useless being, and, at some times, not like a being at all. I recently regained the memories of a 6-8 year old me, frequently wishing my mother would die. (and that i would die, too). My mother hasn't changed much, though i would never ever ever ever repeat the thought.

When my parents seperated, all was well for a couple of weeks. Then my stepmom came in. It's a different kind of insult since she knows what she's actually saying.

But no, i wouldn't call it abuse, not at all.
 
My Mother was always very loving and supportive, but she died when I was a 8. I don't know if my Father ever loved me, but I know he didn't like me. He constantly talked down to me and treated me like I was stupid. While he taught my brother things like how to fix a car and how to throw a ball, he never spent time with me or taught me anything. My brother was shown love and respect growing up. I was treated like a worthless outcast.

My Father remarried when I was 16. One of the first things my stepmother did was find every picture of me in the house and toss them in the trash. Keep in mind, everyone else's pictures were still hanging up in frames. As stupid as they thought I was, I was somehow able to take that as a not-so-subtle way of telling me I wasn't wanted. I didn't have a car, money, job or a place to go, but I still left. No one ever came looking for me.

I tried to reach out and reconcile a few times over the years, but I was always met with hostility or ignored completely. He made it clear each time that he wanted nothing to do with me, so I gave up. I guess its better to be alone than among people who hate you. Still, it sucks. There have been times when I would have been better off with a Father's guidance, and I'm sure part of my anxiety issues stem from never having had family support.
 
Wow big hug to everyone here. Nobody should be treated badly by the people who are meant to nurture and love them...

My father messed off when i was 3 so no clue about him but i was told he was a very violent person.

Sadly as much as my mother tired to be a good mum in some things she too failed. I have always been a 'bigger' girl and all my life all we did was fight with her calling me 'fat' and screaming at me if i couldn't fit into the 'nice' dresses she wanted me to wear (even tho i hated dresses). Still to this day even tho we get on better she comes out with hurtful comments about my weight that i wish she wouldn't.

Its had a big effect on my life because i am completely paranoid about my weight now, i have a medical condition that retains weight so even tho i eat well and exercise for an hour a day the wight doesn't seem to come off. i hate looking in the mirror and pictures of myself make me feel ill. So yeah thanks mum!
 
ladyforsaken said:
Aww.. reading all these posts makes my heart ache. :(

*hugs to all*

Sighs...

I couldn't agree with you more. It's so sad to hear people being treated that way. You'd think that your parents would treat with you love and respect, but unfortunately that is not always the case. Sometimes it is because they were treated badly, however it doesn't give them the right to be treating you the same way because they should understand how you feel.

It is not always just comments though for some people :(

I feel sorry for all those that have been hurt by loved ones.
 
Hearmenow2012 said:
Sometimes it is because they were treated badly, however it doesn't give them the right to be treating you the same way because they should understand how you feel.

I have come to that conclusion and accepted that they behave the way they do for a reason.. and yes, doesn't mean they should treat their kids badly.. but that's just life really. We just have to learn to work around it as the children.
 
I love my mom but she can be like that sometimes... She never says sorry or anything, I should always be the one who is sorry, even if it wasn't my fault. :/
 
If it is any consolation to those who have posted, reading these make me want to be a better parent and avoid the things that have lasting and damaging effects.
 

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