Why does god hate me?

I'm sorry to sound like a fragging drama queen, really I am. I usually avoid such statements. But I can't help it right now, I feel completely hopeless and I don't want to live. Why am I writing this here? Because this is probably the only place where no one will outright tell me to shut up and just get a grip because there are so many people that have worse problems than a stupid cosmetic disorder. Cosmetic disorder indeed.. I have a condition that is called androgenic alopecia (pattern baldness, often genetic and caused by the increased sensitivity of the hair follicles to the hormone DHT). It's not curable by current means, you can only slow it down (or fail to do it). It's now worse than ever before, I absolutely dread washing my hair and it is everywhere. If I ever was on the quick and sure path towards becoming bald and ugly, it is now. It's not like I have much of it left. Mesotherapy did have an effect at first but it didn't last and I cannot continue intensive procedures anyway, they're too expensive, I've already wasted lots of money on it. And just by the way, I'm a girl, so you can imagine what it feels like. If nothing else, this will definitely be an iron-clad reason for no one to even want to speak to me, let alone ever love me and can I truly blame them? No. Because bald women are ugly and this is apparently my impending fate.

I'm sorry to be so negative but I really want to just go and die in the corner, and I know no one can help. This is a pointless rant. It's just.. I don't know what to do anymore.

oww, That's dose suck for you. Why I was reading that I was thinking or you a girl or a boy. It dose make it weirs cos your a girl agreed.

There are some very good wigs out there you know. we had a teacher who where a wig. He was mail. We called him wige derr well we only know that he where a wig cos he told us. Other wise we would have never had known.

Thing is you can save your self a lot of time by wearing one. You would not have to do your heir every morning. there is also a person over the rode from me who has just changed sex from mail to female. she now wheres a wig and you also would never know.

How old are you? I would say its harder if your still quite young. They are some stars that have this problem you know. I cert think of any apart from graham norton at the minute but they are others as well.

And don't worry about being negative. Its quite understandable that you well feel down sometimes about it. I get very down about my own body.

There is a lot moor ppl out there that have to where wigs then you wold think. ppl that have got cancer for one. The treatment to make them better makes them loss there heir.

Thing to do is go look for some that you like. They might be a lot out there that you would like to where. Wigs that is.

like this sight. the fist Google search for wigs. http://www.wigsforladies.co.uk/?gclid=CK-21umkxpICFQxC1AodSXl2bQ

I especially like this look http://www.wigsforladies.co.uk/katie-p-284.html?oscsid=5rnd4l7r5ub9gj7gqm2a00age2

Now you would never know that was a wig would you. and BTW there hot and I think most women wold struggle to get there heir to look that good. Yours would look good all the time.

Thank you for trying to help but please, just don't mention wigs. Please. It's enough to throw me into hysteria. I can't even stand the thougt of wigs, it's so.. false. I'm 25.

Oh am sorry. I Guss its something that you have been told many times all ready.

25 is very young still yes. I am 33 and still consider my self as young.

I have to where a rise in my shoe and my spine is still going over making my hip move further up and the limp worse so every time I buy a new peer of shoes I have to have that bit moor of a rise in the left one. Its getting to the point where they cert put anymore in the shoe so I well have to have a rise on the outside. its something I have been unwilling to discourse with anyone as am just avoiding the problem. But it dose not make it go away. every one has things about them that are different. A diabetic has to inject them self ones or two times a day. I cert go anywhere with out the rise in my shoe are I would be in a lot of pain very quickly. Its this things that make us mad with the world and GOD (if hes real?) that make us who we are. Its the in perfections that make us, us. I even know a guy that is younger then me who has a bowl condition that is pooing him self all the time. You would never know to meet him as he always puts loads of aftershave and deodorant on. I think what am trying to say its not going to be a problem for anyone that's going to meet you. It would not stop me from loving a girl or being friends with you and I caret imagine there is many ppl in the world that it would. It just makes you a moor interesting person. I know it probably don't feel like that right now. But that's because I and everyone else you talk to about it can look from the outside instead of getting worked up about it and feeling like the world and God is against you. The world is not. You have to look at this differently to how you are. If its bothering you to that degree you should go and fined a someone in a moor professional since to talk with. Am not saying your mad. ppl go to talk to counselors just cos there trying to give up smoking now days. Am just saying its going to affect you cos your a young women and quite rightly concerned with how it looks. That just shows you have pride in your self. I would be interested to see how it looks. my Guss is it looks wears to you then to anyone else. And I know you don't wont to hear about the wigs but if its getting weirs then that is something your going to have to consider.

Sorry to hear what you have to say

The truth of the matter is if god exists he hates us all.

Skorian said:

The truth of the matter is if god exists he hates us all.

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That may be true. I have often thought what is the point of a God if he could change everything and anything but choosers not to. This is why I do not believe in God as to what the bible would interpret it.

Silvernight said:

Thank you for trying to help but please, just don't mention wigs. Please. It's enough to throw me into hysteria. I can't even stand the thougt of wigs, it's so.. false. I'm 25.

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Yes it's false, but it's the only _other_ option you got. I'm sure there are a lot of people who wear wigs while most of the people around them are unaware of it, it's not like a they have this big sign on them saying "this is a wig". Some celebrities even have a wig, for instance Tina Turner, Cher and Dolly Parton (some more obvious than the other), i'm not sure why they wear one though. What I'm trying to say here is, you're certainly not alone.

or you know what?? You could just shave it all of and rock it bald...or with a really kickin scarf or something. I know you won't believe me but my hair gives me a really hard time, and I am not the kind of girl who likes to spend loads of time on my looks. I have often wished that I was badass enough to just shave it off and be confident with that look. I know its not for everyone, just a different way of looking at it. I know some really beautiful women who have very little hair, or are bald. My aunt has gone through chemo several times in her life and had no hair for awhile. She bought all kinds of cool hats/scarves, and she looked great!! It all comes down to how you present yourself, if you embrace it and have some fun with it, other people will see you the same way. And confidence is attractive!!

I don't know girl, only you know whats right for you. I'm sorry it causes you so much pain. We all have things we struggle with, some of us with very visible physical things on the outside, sometimes with internal stuff. But either way, I don't think we are meant to be defeated by them, you just got to make it work!

Good luck!

Silvernight said:

I'm sorry to sound like a fragging drama queen, really I am. I usually avoid such statements. But I can't help it right now, I feel completely hopeless and I don't want to live. Why am I writing this here? Because this is probably the only place where no one will outright tell me to shut up and just get a grip because there are so many people that have worse problems than a stupid cosmetic disorder. Cosmetic disorder indeed.. I have a condition that is called androgenic alopecia (pattern baldness, often genetic and caused by the increased sensitivity of the hair follicles to the hormone DHT). It's not curable by current means, you can only slow it down (or fail to do it). It's now worse than ever before, I absolutely dread washing my hair and it is everywhere. If I ever was on the quick and sure path towards becoming bald and ugly, it is now. It's not like I have much of it left. Mesotherapy did have an effect at first but it didn't last and I cannot continue intensive procedures anyway, they're too expensive, I've already wasted lots of money on it. And just by the way, I'm a girl, so you can imagine what it feels like. If nothing else, this will definitely be an iron-clad reason for no one to even want to speak to me, let alone ever love me and can I truly blame them? No. Because bald women are ugly and this is apparently my impending fate.

I'm sorry to be so negative but I really want to just go and die in the corner, and I know no one can help. This is a pointless rant. It's just.. I don't know what to do anymore.

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I gotta be honest with ya...and I'm not just saying this, I swear. Bald chicks...you know, like, the whole head shaved thing? It's really not a bad look. Sinead O' Connor rocked a mean bald head, and I think Tank Girl only has like...a couple strands for bangs or something. Be bold and be bald. I understand it might seem like the end of the world, but you'd be surprised at how accepting people can be.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through alot. I'm not a girl but I have long hair and I definately wouldn't want to lose it if it wasn't my own choice, but yeah I can imagine it must be much tougher for a girl.

Silvernight said:

Because bald women are ugly and this is apparently my impending fate.

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You know, even if it would come to this I don't agree that it would be ugly, not at all.

Rawr! said:

I gotta be honest with ya...and I'm not just saying this, I swear. Bald chicks...you know, like, the whole head shaved thing? It's really not a bad look. Sinead O' Connor rocked a mean bald head, and I think Tank Girl only has like...a couple strands for bangs or something. Be bold and be bald. I understand it might seem like the end of the world, but you'd be surprised at how accepting people can be.

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lmao Tank Girl

I'm 29/M and I would date a woman that is loosing her hair or bald even, it's not the end of the world! So cheer up! Bald women are NOT UGLY!

Silvernight said:

Thank you for trying to help but please, just don't mention wigs. Please. It's enough to throw me into hysteria. I can't even stand the thougt of wigs, it's so.. false. I'm 25.

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One thought comes to my mind, why do we try to look good.
I know all of us here are supposed to be lonely, but it it that looks attract people towards you, especially the people you would like to be with. I would like to believe that looks really dont, then there is no place for a normal looking people,
World will be filled with stunning people.
Forget about how you look, once somebody gets to know you, that wud never matter.
Just try to give as much as possible in any relationship, as a friend or just an acquaintance. U'r world will change for the positive.

Any thoughts on this??

Silvernight,
How ya doing with the hair troubles?
I am sorry for the pain you are suffering. Sadly, you are in a culture that prizes appearance far to much, and teaches others to do the same. Take heart in knowing that MANY other people value you for much deeper reasons that your hair. I know that sounds vacant, and like I don't get it. I do get that this is a life-altering event for you.
So you just have to work with what you were given in life. It isn't so much that this happened to you, but what you did with it that makes the different.
One silver lining I can see in this situation is that it is like a natural tool to weed out the shallow people you meet who would reject a person based on hair alone. You would never want to know those people, or be in a relationship with them anyway.
If it happened to me, I would cry, and be depressed. And then I would try to find a personal style that accommodated the condition. Maybe shave off the remaining hair, or make myself some nice, cool, headwear that could become a trend and make me rich. LOL
Or maybe I would have an amazing design tattooed on my dome. Probably not. But it is a possibility.
So whatever you decide to do, be at peace the best you can and remember you are beautiful from the inside out.
T

Hello guys, sorry I failed to respond after making that post. I was reeeaaally desperate at that time and I wasn't exaggerating when I said that absolutely any suggestion that I should put up with the condition and/or consider wigs was literally killing me. Which is why I avoided looking at the replies for so long No, of course, I wasn't expecting anyone to propose a miracle cure, I wasn't expecting anything, just needed to get it off. Unfortunately, it's true that I'm like that: no amount of kind words, nothing short of solving the problem (or at least getting a really valid reason to hope that it could be solved) makes me cheer up.

Even so I appreciate your trying to be nice. I could never accept or embrace baldness not by choice as it is at implacable odds with my personal perception of beauty. I agree that you're supposed to get over problems like that, to make the most of it and blah blah blah, it's just that I'm not wired that way and can't pretend to be ok with it.

Fortunately, I do now have a valid hope that it could be solved and therefore I'm less jumpy and easily crushed (or else I wouldn't be writing the response ). A little over a month ago I found the email of a very competent Canadian doctor online who was so nice as to actually hear me out and prescribe an available (and cheap) medication for addressing the root of the problem. I don't wanna say anything too early but it seems to me that it already started having a positive effect. Hopefully, it's going to work

Sinead O'Connor may have looked.. bearable, not really ugly (definitely not beautiful either), just ok. However, it's the overall shape of the head and face that matters here, and very few women, let me tell you, have the appropriate shape that would make baldness actually look good on them. Take, as an example, Natalie Portman who shaved her head at "V for Vendetta" and Britney Spears who did the same for.. hell knows why. The first looked gorgeous, she's that rare type whom being shaved suits very well, the second - just... ugh. Yes, the personality matters more, but the truth is that looks, at least as the first impression, matters too. Oh and just for the record, being shaved does not look the same as losing hair for unnatural reasons. In the first case, very short hairs are clearly visible making the scalp look darker and different from the rest of the skin while there's just a smooth and very shiny skin in the second variant... much worse.

I'm glad to hear there's hope.

Silvernight said:

Hopefully, it's going to work

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That would be great. I hope it does work for you.

That can be difficult for a male to deal with, where it is much more common. Much more difficult for a female.

While it could be dealt with it would be great if there is no need for that.

I hope it works out.
good luck

I wish I could find it again, but awhile back I found a girl's website with a section of photos she had professionally taken. She was completely bald. They were a bit provocative, where she was mostly clad in leather. One photo even had a snake hanging around her neck. I think she had a few tattoos as well.

The point is, this woman was gorgeous and the fact that she didn't have a single hair on her head gave her some kind of otherworldy beauty. In fact, I don't think she would have been nearly as attractive to me if she had hair.

I understand you'd much rather have your hair, but I just wanted to comment that there's much more to a woman's beauty than what's on her head. I can't be the only man that feels this way.

Thanks for the good wishes all )

JustLost, it would be interesting to have a look. If she does actually look good, I'll be the first to acknowledge that. I actually browsed some sites related to women's hair loss and had a look at some of their photos and videos (what's that about that strange masochistic urge to torture yourself with those exact sights you wish at all costs to avoid? ). They most assuredly did not cheer me up. Those (bald) women were, no doubt, brave to have accepted their condition and many posters expressed their admiration for their looks.. but, I'm objective, really, and I cannot genuinely say they looked good. Much to the contrary. But it's just my personal opinion, naturally. That's what really sucks. I can deal with my recurring spells of depression of varying degrees and psychological stuff like that, they can be suppressed with some effort. But not with what I perceive as a horribly ugly appearance. It would be like a big fat cross on my life forever. Not dramatizing, just saying as it is.

Anyways, I'm not giving up. I absolutely refuse to put up with this disgrace. The current treatment is going to work (ever heard about self-persuasion ).

Oh yeah, if I wanted to have an otherworldly look, I'd much rather get sharp-pointed ears, always liked those