Just a rant...

I am feeling depress, I just had a crappy birthday, I am 16, I got nothing but just one text message from a very good and only friend, she is from the internet though. I had been a constant target for bullies almost my whole life, bullies were never a problem when I was in kindergarden to year 3 but when I was in year 4 things turn for the worse.

I migrated from Singapore to Australia and since then everyone picked on me and I had no friends but this stop 2 years ago.

The bullying stop because I went to a different school but the bullying gave me a cold unfriendly shell I hide in all the time. I do not like showing the real me at all..

So I turn to the net for friends and found people there to be friendlier although this is great I kinda hate myself for not having a social life at all in the real life but just having a social life on the virtual world. I think people who live alone are lucky, I hate the idea of my parents being in the house when I am on the computer it is embarrassing for me that they to know my computer is my life and to add to that I hate it when they talk to their friends about me, about how regularly I go out and stuff, I hate it when my parents say “oh he doesn’t get out at all” and their friends would than go on and on about their son/daughter going out and spending money its humiliating for them to know.

I have a serious social problem, I spent all my days in my house on my bed feeling depress or go on the net. These are my only memories

For 7 years I have been a lonely person I seriously fail to see this situation going to improve at all. I would hate my 18th birthday because I know it would be worse or be the same as my other birthdays, boring lonely and no one to celebrate it with. What makes it even more depressing is that I know everyone is gonna have such a great time on their birthday celebrating with their friends.

Anyway after all these years of people bullying me I have a fear of people, I rarely go out and my parents want me to find a job, I just cant bring myself to get a job. My parents would then make me feel guilty of not meeting their expectations

Life is so unfair, people like me who got bullied properly never will get over it and will feel honeysuckle for the rest of their lives, but people who bully will continue to be successful have many friends and be free of their guilty conscience.

This rant might sound abit childish, I apologize for it. I am only 16

Hey dude, I'm 17, and I can relate to that loneliness thing.

One thing I will say, is try and convince your parents to let you start Martial arts. It worked for me, atleast. Not because of being bullied (although it will, in time, stop that), but mostly because the self confidence it builds is great, and you become very good friends with the people in your school of choice. Nothing is cooler than hearing some parent brag about how their child is spending money on clothes, and having your parents reply "Our child is learning how to beat up yours".

I used to be extremely depressed and lonely. I was overweight as well, and had just stopped talking to a friend of mine permanently (said he was my friend out of pity). Martial arts took care of the weight problem, as well as giving me something to look forward to and think about. Eventually I became very good friends with all the people I trained with; I was only 14, but was very good friends with a range of people between 12 and 32. Now I can't get enough, and rarely ever feel the pangs of loneliness or depression that I used to feel.

It doesn't have to be martial arts; anything that interests you is good. If you're really into computers, look into computer based clubs at your school. If you'd prefer outdoor activities, I still suggest martial arts, but theres no reason you can't try football or baseball instead.

The main thing is that a), you're in the presence of other people, b), when a person does something well they feel good about it, c) it's physically healthy, and d), both a and b are good for the human psyche. And don't say you're too shy to do it; I'm extremely shy, and my first martial art was Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Watch some videos of BJJ people sparring; you're literally in contact with the other persons body with your body the entire time.