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Ire

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I've met a guy over the internet... in another forum. He's 18, like I am, he's bisexual, like I am, and he's a furry, like I am. It's gotten to the point where we both have said we love eachother... he even made me cry. He lives all the way out in california (i'm in colorado) which is a problem. Both of us want to see eachother, but we really don't have the money for it.

This is the first time in my life anyone has ever said they loved me, or they wanted me. Nobody has ever said that to me, even over the internet. And I've never loved anybody, even in real life.

So this is all new for me.

The problem is, I'm so used to being emotionally closed off.... I find it hard to believe he actually cares about me. I have these terrible thoughts that he's going to turn on me one day, say it was all a big joke to him, that he never really cared. I'm scared that he might find someone in real life... or that he might find someone else on the internet.

I've got all these insecurities, and whenever they pop up my natural defense mechanisms kick in. Which means I get really bitter, sarcastic, and angsty. I havn't felt suicidal at all in about a week, but I'm really scared because this mean so much to me.

I don't want it to fall apart, but every time he mentions feeling close to somebody else with his problems I feel threatened now... and immediatly go into protective mode of feeling like "He's going to say he doesn't love me" and get angry/sarcastic etc.

I've barely even cut myself since I started talking to him this way... but he said "he found someone just like him" and it all kicked in, the bitterness goes so deep. I'm scared as hell how this is going to end up...
 
WOW! That so cool that you meet someone. OK so he lives a long way away. But you are still in the same country so well be able to go see him eventually. Start saving the cash and you well be there be for you know it.

So ye there might be a danger that he well leave you or get board of you or you might just not get on together after being together for a bit. But that's all the chances you have to take in any relationship. If your not willing to chance anything you well never meet anyone. So if it don't work out then you have meet him there well be other ppl in the world that well wont to be with you as well. Its like sometimes you have to try at something many times be for you get it right. Learn from this. I mean I hope it dose work for you two. You may end up meeting and spending the rest of your liefs together and even get marred. who knows? but if it don't work out then hopefully you well have had some fun on the way. Don't put all your hops onto the one person. That's always going to leave you open for moor pain. Course that's easier said then done. Like the poem btw in the other thread :) keep us up to date ye on what happens :) Good for you mate.
 
The best advise i can give You (and which i have the time to write right now; gotta go soon!) is; listen to Your heart. I've got a friend who've had a "relationship" via a chat client for almost four years. They still love each other as much as ever. I also know guys who've been very closed off with heir feelings as teenagers and are protective when it comes to how deep someone is allowed to come to those feelings. Listen, You've got to let someone close to You sooner or later if You don't want to stay lonely. Disregard Your past social contacts! This new person doesn't have anything to do with them anyway! Press the reset button, open up Your heart, and keep chatting/talking. The rest will come by itself! You don't have to meet until You both are entirely sure about it. Gogogo! ;)
 
you should try talking on the phone and seeing if you two click, some of the time I find it easier to talk to people over the phone since they cant see any of my nervous mannerisms lol, but any way to let you two get to know each other and just have some sort of a connection is good.
 

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Ire said:
but he said "he found someone just like him" and it all kicked in, the bitterness goes so deep. I'm scared as hell how this is going to end up...
so he found some on or..? i dont get it

u know if ur really wanna go, which i say go, u'll find the money...

i think the money problem can be excuse for somth else....
 
i was actually talking to someone here a while back he said that his older sister met someone also like that, they met up, got married and had a baby....and he envies her.

u know by being closed up and scared all the time u can miss a chance that was coming ur way. Sometimes u have to risk. Just like if u know u might get hurt prepare urself ahead to deal with it....not by cutting though..

everyone has insecurities
 

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