The causes are known. The solution is not.

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

MrGold

New member
Joined
Jun 10, 2013
Messages
2
Reaction score
0
I'll try to get right to the point. I feel like I've lacked "consistent" friends for the last 2.5 years. When I say "consistent," I mean that they would always seek to spend time and chat with me and vice-versa. I am no one's go to person and nor is anyone for me. Until recently, I think I've got some good ideas on what the causes of my loneliness are.

When I say that I have a pretty good idea on the causes, I mean something deeper than the idea that I just don't have friends. These are some reasons why I think I don't have friends: #1 I'm uninterested in what is popular or common (e.g. sports spectacles, alcohol, pop culture (popular music in particular), and religion. So, that excludes me from a lot of groups. #2 I am extremely focused on my goals. They're really important to me. My goals involve a book that I'm writing and two different types of video streams that I regularly update each week. None of those activities require physical interaction with people. That's an extremely good reason for why I don't have friends. Physical interaction is necessary.

Beyond the reasons I just gave, even when I do converse with people on a regular basis (such as at work), it never leads to activities outside of work. If I could just befriend someone and have interesting conversations with them on a regular basis, that would suffice for me. I want to spend time with people I value and I want those feelings to be mutual.

So yea, I'm still at this point where I don't know how to address my friendlessness. I don't know how I can make a friend. I know that I tend to enjoy my conversations with university students at the tail end of their undergrad or in grad school. I dunno if its weird for me to hang out at a university that I am not enrolled in. It sounds like it might be.

Anyway, thoughts are welcome. Thanks for listening.
 
Don't give up. It can be hard when you can't seem to find a common thread with people. I don't know if they exist but they probably do, have you ever thought of seeing if there is a writers club or courses?

Oh and welcome to the forum.
 
I'm sure there are quite a few people who aren't interested in sports, alcohol, pop culture and religion. And even people who like all of those things might also have other interests. But I do get what you're saying, its hard to have a conversation with people when they only want to talk about things that you could care less about.

Still, its a big world, and there are bound to be people who share your interests. If you want to find those people, you could try being a little less focused on your goals. I have a lot of respect for people who are professionally focused, but a little balance probably won't hurt.

But those are just my thoughts. Welcome to the foum!
 
Sci-Fi said:
Don't give up. It can be hard when you can't seem to find a common thread with people. I don't know if they exist but they probably do, have you ever thought of seeing if there is a writers club or courses?

Oh and welcome to the forum.
Man. You've really narrowed your choices down there. I'm leaning toward Sc-Fi's suggestion on this one.
 
Lots of universities have guest speakers on a regular basis and these talks are usually open to the general public. Maybe you could find out if something like this operates at your local university? If so, it could be a good way to meet students if you don't want to or can't enroll on a course there.
 
Hmmm. I've been thinking we should have an ALL writers club.

Welcome to the site btw, Mr Gold - Not Mr Gold from 'Once upon a time' ?

I have found it is not hard to get to know people, become friends, but real true friends, who are there for you no matter what, who you can tell anything too, those are rare. If you get one, don't let them get away.
 
I think a lot of good suggestions were given. The idea of a writer's club or watching speakers on a university campus makes sense.

Edward, I wasn't aware that Mr.Gold was a character in Once Upon a Time. I haven't seen that show. That's my username for when I play games online. Interesting coincidence.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top