I will never get a girlfriend

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Women can be disgusted by unattractive men, yes, but it’s usually only when such men show an interest.
So pretend that you’ve had your sex drive suppressed, like in the movie ‘THX-1138’, and you won’t offend women with your ugly-guy hetero urges ;)

Seriously, why not just accept it and move on? I’m in the same boat, the only thing I have to gain from trying at this point are restraining orders.
 
I just wish I was born with a different body. I hate my genetics.

I wish I could afford plastic surgery.
 
I don't know what I'm saying.... but I'll say it anyway.

Maybe it's the attitude of "not ever going to get someone" might influence it a bit? I used to be like this... and always thought negatively of myself before.. I never met anyone nice. Until I changed my mindset and started to be positive, I started meeting so many nice people and whoa.. more stuff has happened since then. I cannot tell you how it made me feel like a positive mind and outlook can influence positive outcomes in your life.

*shrugs* Not saying this works but.. who knows?
 
I was told that I looked like a transsexual wearing lipstick. That no girl would find me sexy enough to even kiss. I was told that I was a monster and that I should kill myself. That my penis was unnecessary, and that I should cut it off, because nobody would have sex with me. I was called big nose, freak, ugly geek.

All of this before I was 18, and I've dealt with other things like that.

Some women have shown what could be interpreted as interest, but I can't tell anymore if they are serious, or just trying to jerk my chain. I've had girls show interest in me, get me alone, and then tell me that it was a dare that their friends put them up to.
 
We’ve seen your photo, you don’t look bad at all. If you’re a bit on the flabby side then losing weight would be the next logical step (I lost over 30 pounds in 6 months just through diet)


LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
I was told that I looked like a transsexual wearing lipstick.

That no girl would find me sexy enough to even kiss. I was told that I was a monster and that I should kill myself. That my penis was unnecessary, and that I should cut it off, because nobody would have sex with me. I was called big nose, freak, ugly geek.

All of this before I was 18, and I've dealt with other things like that.

Some women have shown what could be interpreted as interest, but I can't tell anymore if they are serious, or just trying to jerk my chain. I've had girls show interest in me, get me alone, and then tell me that it was a dare that their friends put them up to.


Sounds like you were a target for bullying and those people were trying to get to you.

Slimming down a bit and getting a shorter haircut might do wonders (this is friendly advice by the way.)
 
rdor said:
Sounds like you we're being bullied and those people were just trying to get to you.

Yep that's what I was thinking. I don't see anything like that with the way you look. If anything, they were jealous you for having nice features.
 
I'm going to try a shorter haircut.

This goes back more than 12 years of insecurity. I was diagnosed with Body Dismorphia by a therapist, so I know a lot of it is unrealistic.

But how much of it was real? If I am, indeed, attractive, wouldn't these girls want to be with me instead of insulting me?
 
Well.. to some of these girls.. even when they like what they see, they might insult instead. It's easier to be negative.. than it is to be positive. Could be shyness.. could be a whole lot of others things that would just be pointless to wonder about.

Start being positive... and think positive. No harm trying that.
 
A lot of this has to do with how I explain my inexperience, too.

What do I do? Pretend I've kissed a girl and had sex? Won't she be able to figure out I haven't?
 
No, just be yourself. If women can't take your honesty about being inexperienced, then they're not worth your time. Eventually, you'll find someone who appreciates your honesty about your lack of experience (and there is nothing wrong with that - everyone has to start somewhere, no matter what age) and wouldn't mind it. There are women like that.

Besides, why does it have to be about kissing a girl and sex mainly? Why can't it just be two people getting to know each other, liking each other for the way they are and their personalities first?
 
Well there are women who don't do that, so don't give up I guess? And keep a positive mind about it.
 
Like ladyforsaken suggests, your attitude and the way you feel inside is the real issue. Just look at all the ugly guys with pretty gf's... Negativity and desesperation is what's really holding you back. The world is a projection of how you feel inside...
 
Felix said:
Just look at all the ugly guys with pretty gf's...

Lol.. I was thinking that but wasn't gonna say it.. I mean :p not to say they are ugly.... just that they're not the typical mainstream good-looking type of guys.
 
LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
Won't she be able to figure out I haven't?

Probably not.


ladyforsaken said:
I don't know what I'm saying.... but I'll say it anyway.

Maybe it's the attitude of "not ever going to get someone" might influence it a bit? I used to be like this... and always thought negatively of myself before.. I never met anyone nice. Until I changed my mindset and started to be positive, I started meeting so many nice people and whoa.. more stuff has happened since then. I cannot tell you how it made me feel like a positive mind and outlook can influence positive outcomes in your life.

*shrugs* Not saying this works but.. who knows?

Nice post, it's surprising how we end up misjudging people as cold or unfriendly when we're in a defensive mindset.

Being positive isn't going to make superficial people like you, but it helps make sure you aren't inadvertently pushing away everyone else.
 
You will indeed not get a girlfriend with such an outlook. I also think you cling too much to the disorders you've been labled with.

As has been mentioned before, a more positive outlook can change your life greatly.
 
LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
I was told that I looked like a transsexual wearing lipstick. That no girl would find me sexy enough to even kiss. I was told that I was a monster and that I should kill myself. That my penis was unnecessary, and that I should cut it off, because nobody would have sex with me. I was called big nose, freak, ugly geek.

All of this before I was 18, and I've dealt with other things like that.

Some women have shown what could be interpreted as interest, but I can't tell anymore if they are serious, or just trying to jerk my chain. I've had girls show interest in me, get me alone, and then tell me that it was a dare that their friends put them up to.

I understand this. I've been called a freak, and a monster, too. And just about everything in between probably. I've been told that I should take meds to lower my libido since I'll never have sex (unless I pay for it), and have even been told that I should voluntarily get myself castrated. Only girl I have ever been out with was with me because her friends put it up to her as a joke. "Pick a Loser", as she told me. We never touched, not even to hold hands or to hug. I'm 37 and can't remember what physical contact with another person is like, and have never had affectionate contact. So, I sort of understand how you feel.

Being told to be more positive is .. well, I'll be polite and not say what I really feel about that. Being continually ridiculed and rejected makes feeling positive, let alone being positive, more than just bloody hard. Especially when nobody notices, it feels quite pointless. But if it works for you, then, hey, go for it.

Sometimes, all we really need is just a chance. For someone to really show some interest. Genuine interest. Sometimes people are like flowers, and just need a little encouragement to be able to blossom.

Sorry. I know this is all supposed to be about being positive and stuff. It just sounded very familiar when I read it ...
 

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