I Don't Know How To Feel When My Loved Ones Die

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LoneKiller

LoneKiller

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Hi.

I'm going to get right to the point. I live with my father, mother, and grandmother. My aunt lives out in the country. My dad is 77, my mom 64, my grandmother 88, and my aunt 66.

Every day of my life I see them slowly coming closer to death due to health complications as a result of their age. I'm always thinking about what my life will be like without them. I can't prevent their deaths, but this is where I'm conflicted on how to feel about this.

All four of them have had really hard lives. They have worked their entire lives. They're just so very tired as a result. When one of them or all of them are dead I don't know whether I should be sad or relieved in a strange way because I know that death will finally bring them the rest they so richly deserve.

Am I making any sense here? Your guys' input would really help me out here.


Thank you for viewing.

-Jason
 
You are making perfect sense. I often wonder the same thing with my mom since she's all my brother and I have. My grand parents are both gone, we're not really all that close with our family considering most can't get along with each other when in the same room. Our mom recently turned 70 and I often think about what life will be like when she's gone.

So you're not alone with your thoughts, it's rough to think about losing the only people you have in your life.
 
Oh Jason,

I'm sorry your feeling this way at the moment hun your completely making sense.

Its understandable to be worried about losing loved ones that have always been a part of your life, your rocks and strengths to help you through tough times.

I've never lost anyone to death in my life so far so there's little advise i can offer but i'll try.

Enjoy every moment you have with the people you love, try not to think to much about 'when they are gone' enjoy them here and now while you still have them. Yes in time sadly they will come to pass but then that will be the time to look back and think what wonderful amazing people they were and celebrate their lives. It will hurt to lose them but know that your life is ever the richer for them being in it with memories that no one will ever be able to take away from you.

They are still here, living and breathing and loving don't let this time be clouded by 'whens' and 'what ifs'. Enjoy the now!

I don't know if this offers any comfort or you think i'm just talking honeysuckle either way i hope it helps just a little.
 
It makes sense. We will have to go through or parents deaths sooner or later. Not much to do about that except trying to spend quality time with them and get to know them while we have them.
 
How you're feeling right now is totally fine, and how you're feeling when they finally pass - god forbid; will be absolutely fine too.

Everyone grieves in different ways. If you wanna see it as them being in a better place? That's perfectly reasonable.
There is no right or wrong way to see it.

As long as you can manage with it in a healthy manner, and get past those initial feelings.

I can guarantee your thoughts about them will be much different if you spend every day with them like it's their last though. If you think they may not have that much more time on this earth, show them all the love you can. Because you're gonna miss it a hell of a lot more when they're gone.
 
I sometimes think about things like this. I try not to though, because recently, within the past year, it seems like I've been surrounded completely by death.
 
Hi Everyone.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It means a lot to me. I'm not just saying that. One strange thought occurred to me. These people have so many years on me. My grandmother is 50 years older than me. 50 years!! Think about that for a second. Who knows? Maybe after being alive so long with their degree of health, they may be looking forward to passing away as dumb as that may seem.
 
LK, Its good you can be so open and bring this up. First of all a great big hug for you. Here is the thing about losing someone. You aren't going to feel just one emotion. Its a roller coaster ride. Who says you can't feel both releved and sad? You will feel however you feel when it happens and what ever you feel, is going to be what you should be feeling in that moment...and that will change over and over again. Its not unusual to feel like an emotionaless zombie one minute, and sad or angry the next. Just know its all ok. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk about death with. I see it all the time and I see what it does to the living and I have recently experienced it first hand, so I can relate on so many levels. Just remember, there will be many feelings..all of them valid.
 
Naleena said:
LK, Its good you can be so open and bring this up. First of all a great big hug for you. Here is the thing about losing someone. You aren't going to feel just one emotion. Its a roller coaster ride. Who says you can't feel both releved and sad? You will feel however you feel when it happens and what ever you feel, is going to be what you should be feeling in that moment...and that will change over and over again. Its not unusual to feel like an emotionaless zombie one minute, and sad or angry the next. Just know its all ok. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk about death with. I see it all the time and I see what it does to the living and I have recently experienced it first hand, so I can relate on so many levels. Just remember, there will be many feelings..all of them valid.
Click to expand...

Ditto. Spot on, Nal.

Cos I went through it exactly like that.

Keep strong, Jason. *hugs*
 
*Sammy* said:
Oh Jason,

I'm sorry your feeling this way at the moment hun your completely making sense.

Its understandable to be worried about losing loved ones that have always been a part of your life, your rocks and strengths to help you through tough times.

I've never lost anyone to death in my life so far so there's little advise i can offer but i'll try.

Enjoy every moment you have with the people you love, try not to think to much about 'when they are gone' enjoy them here and now while you still have them. Yes in time sadly they will come to pass but then that will be the time to look back and think what wonderful amazing people they were and celebrate their lives. It will hurt to lose them but know that your life is ever the richer for them being in it with memories that no one will ever be able to take away from you.

They are still here, living and breathing and loving don't let this time be clouded by 'whens' and 'what ifs'. Enjoy the now!

I don't know if this offers any comfort or you think i'm just talking honeysuckle either way i hope it helps just a little.
Click to expand...

I couldn't agree with this more. I couldn't have put it any better any better.

You are making perfect sense. Enjoy the time that you have with them now not try not to over analyse everything. When the day comes then it is going to be difficult to deal, but at least you'll have memories which no one will ever be able to take away from you :)
 

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