im new here

Hi guys, i'm new here...haha, I dont know what to write...

Well, i'm a guy, 15 years old, i live in the UK and i've struggled with depression and loneliness all my life.

Well, not all my life, as such, but since i was 4.. I come from a broken home, my dad left me. this just messed me up, pretty much.

I struggle with loneliness all the time. when i'm at school, i put on a happy facade, like i'm great, but when i get home i go to my room and sit there for the rest of the day, wishing that somebody, anybody would knock on my door

I mean, they know where I live... why wont they come? And my crippling shyness stops me from talking to them... and the one person that I can go to, he never comes to my house or anything... and if I ever mention that im thinking about going up there on msn or something, he always says not to.

Everyone ignores me, constantly, or just treats me cruelly... I cant remember the last time someone said something nice to me, sincerely. Hell, my mother's never even said, with everything ive done that she is proud of me

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
all i want is someone to talk to
but no-one's here for me

i feel like im falling
and no once is there to catch me

Hi -rave, that totally sucks.. Have you got any brothers are sisters? Do you just live with your mum? Is it a friend you talk to on msn? Why dose he never wont you to go up? Friends should you know. Well, You already know this.

Sorry for all the questions I was just wondering and you in no way have to answer anything you don't wont to.

Hay! am from the UK man also. I live near Nottingham. Do you know it. I think you may. Most ppl do as its one of the biggest city's in our country.

What do you feel at school when your thinking of asking a friend to go out in the evening? I mean what do you fear about asking? Whats holding you back or is it just the horrid shyness? Ask your self whats the worst they can say? Am busy maybe. Well that's not so bad huh?

Welcome here rave. And I think you well find a lot here that feel the same as yourself in that they are shy.

I have 1 brother... he's kind of a dick though. He's 18. I suppose he could be considered a reason for some of my messed up-ness... he bullies me a bit, just consantly punching me if he gets a bit pissed off. Yes, i do live with my mum, along with my broher.

Also, i mean i say to the friend something like "i think i might come up to yours" he always says something along the lines of "UMMMMM... no
yes
no
yes
no" I have no idea why he seems to never want to see me...

Also, if i ever think about asking a friend out, i get worried because they might not like me, secretly or some honeysuckle... thats what im always worrying about, people talking at me behind my back and laughing at me.

yo welcome rave,Im 15 also
I'm going through pretty much the same thing as you difference is im
not lucky enough for my parents to split so they fight constantly
every night.....without rest so im sorry for the honeysuckle you have to go
through I know its hard

But here on alonelylife there are people like me that care for you and it may be hard for you to believe but they understand what your going through.

From a friend Welcome to alonelylife forums rave.....Ill be your knock on the door

Oh the big brother is just being a big bother lol Sorry about that. But ye there is not a lot you can do I suppose apart from tell your mum about him. But my Guss is he would still probably give you trouble.

I know what you mean about ppl secretly not liking you but again my Guss would be if they did not like you then they would make an accuse up why they can not go out. I mean there is going to be some ppl in this world that don't like you. That's just the way it is. How dose that expressen go? you can please most of the ppl most of the time but you can not plies all of the ppl all of the time. Get me? But I can not see why nobody would like you as you come across a very friendly guy. Not like that Hijacc lol just kidding dude. Nerr he is a cool guy. I to think that your lucky in that way as your mum and dad did separate and not ague every day. I have been there and its no fun that is not. But everyone I know where there parents did split would probably disagree with me. I think its one of them things that you don't know tell you have lived it.

I would probably ask your friend next time I saw him at school right out why he never wants to go out. maybe its cos hes having hes own problems at home that you don't know about?

Is there a club are anything you can start. Anything your into? Now if someone had asked me that I would have no clue as am not that into much myself. But if that friends is not palling around with you after school you need to find ppl that well if you can but at the same time keeping him as a friend. After all he is still a friend right?

Later guys I have to go get food and clean about a million pots up fist.

Welcome rave

I am glad you found this place.