Coming of age sucks.

In the past couple weeks I was kinda putting a relatively big part of my time on this business idea I had. It's never been done before here in my country, and I really think that would be my big break, given enough time to foster. Anyway, the bubble burst yesterday when I found out it is impossible to be a profitable business (manufacturing costs, long-term market trends, etc.).

That is all relevant to this post because not only did I truly believe in that idea, but it was supposed to be my key defining moment where I would finally stop being a nobody. I'd finally have something to show for myself and others. I believe that lasting happiness comes from having substantial achievements, of doing something of relevance to society. I would never be happy just being a number, being just a nobody. Being a nobody makes me unhappy. Unhappy makes me a recluse. Recluse makes me lonely. Lonely makes me unmotivated. Unmotivated makes me not work on anything substantial. Not working on anything substantial makes me a nobody. Thus the cycle continues. I was there, I was ready to break the cycle. Yet, fresia me, here I am again.

Why do I have this need to be big? Was I a neglected kid? I don't remember much from childhood. Is this normal?

How do I stop deluding myself of visions of grandeur? I've tried using logic and reason to constantly keep myself in check, but I also know easy it is for the mind to be biased for its own sake. I guess I'm not smart enough to be a genius. Just someone who will keep on trying and acting and pretending to be one. I want to be smart, because I've got nothing else. At least if I'm a genius-level smart, I've got an excuse why I don't interact much and well enough, like most people do. Truth is, I'm just a really broken and messed-up guy, whose fears and insecurities are so embedded in him, that he will never know the truth about himself. Meanwhile there are endless media to keep fooling myself I'm doing anything. Video games, movies, what have you. The more I try to resist, the more I succumb. Feels like being Sisyphus again. It feels like I am stuck in a perpetual pre-adolescent body.

Ever since I entered college I've always had this thought that I would have sorted my life by 24.
I'm now 23, and I still don't know who I am, what I'm good at, where do I want to go, and everything I do always turns out to be honeysuckle and half-assed. All the while I see everyone I know going somewhere with their lives.

Can I say that we live in the most horrible times for coming of age? It seems like if you are not a celebrity, a world-famous something, Mark Zuckenberg or god forbid Justin Beaber, one doesn't even have the right to exist. We are constantly shown the most unlikely examples of success on TV and internet, it's like a continuous brainwashing.
In the 1950ies you were extremely successful if you owned your own house. In 1600 you were successful if you were not a slave, and possibly owned slaves (in the US). In an African village if you have one wife and one cow.
Genius is totally overrated, there are different kinds of geniuses that are not considered in the IQ test, and people who by that test are dumb have wonderful happy lives. I think that their secret is that they keep expectations on themselves really low, but at the same time they never stop trying, and they are free, free to be themselves and fail, and I suspect that is the key to "success", whatever that means.
I think we "crossed posts" in another thread on a similar topic, so you know where I am coming from, so let me say: screw genius, screw success, you are what you are, and as long as you are not happy no genius in the world can make you happy. So maybe you are putting some kind of unfair standards to yourself, and I think the whole problem revolves around the definition of "nobody": is it your own definition or is it the society's definition?
I hope you find what makes *you* happy, who cares about the others, we are all different (really). I hope you don't find this that I write patronizing or anything, I think it's great that you have ambition, it is most probable that you will get a winning idea sooner or later, just remember that you don't HAVE to, whatever you do is fine, the greatest idea-killer is stress and pressure.

Hey you're not alone. I have little direction in my life and I'm 22. I just think you need to think less. Have some ignorance about you. We are our own worst enemies. I know when I've thought about something too much because I constantly reach a negative conclusion to it. What I think you must do is simply focus on and get on with what you do have going for you. You could still become a well known world player in future. It doesn't have to be now. You've your whole life to accomplish it

Pfft, I'm 33 and only just finding my direction in life now.

If you want to realise your big idea, maybe start with some smaller ideas that are cheaper to get off the ground. That way your bankroll will (ideally) grow and those huge startup costs won't be so big.