What do you think is going on?

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Gutted

Gutted

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Joined
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Hello everyone,

I have a situation here for you. I would like to know what you think the deal is.

About 8 weeks ago, I tried this free online dating site just to see what it was like. It was pretty crap. However, I did get talking to a Girl and we hit it off. I added her on Facebook and Skype, and got her number soon after. Until last Thursday we were a sure thing. We spoke every morning, during the day whilst I was at work and at night before we went to bed.

However, there I was last Thursday, talking to her on Facebook as normal when boom! She vanishes. Her account is gone! I was shocked. Thought I'd said something wrong. So I texted her. No response. I jumped onto Skype to find her online. So I said 'Hello?' 10 seconds later she vanishes from there too. By now I am extremely concerned. So I text her again. No response. Next I tried to call her. The phone rang twice but I got nothing. So I left it. A few hours later I texted her one last time and I left her a voicemail asking what the hell is up.

Friday comes and there I am, pretty annoyed and upset, sitting in the workplace canteen waiting to be briefed when what happens? I get a text from the Girl saying 'What's up?' I call her and explain the situation and she tells me someone hacked her Facebook but everything is fine with us. Seems legit. However ever since, things have been weird. For example, we've barely talked. When we do talk it's different. She lacks interest. She talks to me differently. She hasn't been online on Skype since. I'm pretty sure I have been deleted. She says her Facebook was hacked and her friends were blocked/deleted and yet the only difference I noticed when I was eventually added back was that a honeysuckle ton of my comments on her status' were gone. Everything else not only seemed normal. But she'd been posting at the time I was texting her. She told me she was asleep. That her net failed which was why Skype didn't work and she didn't reply to my texts. But clearly that isn't true. The posts prove that.

Now I am left thinking what the hell? Is this some weird way of saying she's suddenly not into me? I've not pulled her on it due to me possibly being wrong and then that costing us our relationship. At the same time though, I'm certain she needs to be confronted. My mind wont be put at rest otherwise and we may always be awkward when talking.

What do you think is going on?
 
Soon as I read the first paragraph I kinda guessed it would be where someone shows interest then stops. Seems to happen quite often, I've also experienced this.

I often think that sometimes your just there as a void filler, until someone "better suited" comes along.
 
It has been really weird. I confronted her about half and hour after making this topic. She has assured me that we're fine. She said she's just had an emotionally draining week, which she has. I can only presume that all IS well and see what happens. We're supposed to be meeting up on the 29th. That gives us roughly two weeks to decide on where we're going.
 
Sounds fishy to me, but maybe she really did have a bad week and she just needs a little space.
 
Whatever it is, its not you. My thoughts are she isn't being completely honest. Maybe the fb was hacked, but that has nothing to do with her phone. She may be using you like a rubber-band man. She maybe interested, but not that interested. Id back away. After acting like that to you, she needs to work for it- not you. Let her come to you for a while.
 
Thank you guys. Much appreciated. I have no reason to doubt her Locke. Not just yet anyway, lol. So I will presume that, that is the case.

I agree with you Naleena. It cant be me because I didn't do anything except for worry when she vanished. I've been trying to leave her alone since Friday when she returned. Trying to let us get back to the way we are. But the weirdness of it all has been bugging me. I just had to talk to her lol. I am going to back away now though. I prepared for the worst on Thursday and I am still prepared now.
 
I was imagining being in your situation, and my flight response would be heavy at this point. The excuses don't add up. It seems like she was trying to erase evidence of your existence. (Maybe because she has a boyfriend?)

My only advice is to be careful.
 
Its good that you're backing up a little. It could be that she has a boyfriend like case said, or she might not be ready to talk about whatever it is. Whatever is up with her, its on her to be honest, maybe she will be in time. If she's not and things like this keep happening, it might be a sign to let her go.

But I hope the meeting with her goes well. Good luck!
 
It could be totally innocent, and as she says she had her Facebook "hacked" and a really crap week.


However, it smells pretty fishy indeed.

I had an almost identical situation a few years ago with a guy I met online. To cut a very long story short, it turns out I was "the other woman" and he was in at least a long term relationship, if not married.

Be careful.

But I hope it turns out well for you :)
 
Just stay in control..who knows what she's up to? People do all manner of things for god knows what reason and you haven't met her yet. The minute you're sat round trying to second guess strangers you haven't met you're too deep too soon. Have high standards. Some people see dating online as playing the field and don't give it a second thought if they draw someone in and then drop them.

Keep chatting but note it as a negative and keep searching. Don't waist 3-4 months chatting on the hope this stranger turns out to be the one. Keep looking, you owe her nothing as it stands. That's one fault I think people slip into, they get chatting and ditch looking, online dating is a numbers game, not very romantic but true. You'll know the time when it comes to closing your account and concentrating on that one girl, until them just see her as 1 of 3 billion potential suiters.
 
Sounds like everybody else gave pretty good advice and i wasnt gonna comment but that thing about her not returning your calls sounds a little fishy. I dont know, theres a lot of dishonest people in the world, lot of bat honeysuckle crazy beard people too. I say just give it a chance try not to worry about it, give her the benefit of the doubt but be wary, if that kinda stuff keeps happening its probably a good indicator shes got something going on in the background shes not telling you about. See how the face to face meeting goes and base your relationship off that, not the online contact. It could be maybe things were moving too fast and she just needed some space. Either way best of luck and i hope it works out. Just dont do anything too hasty if you really like her, there could be a good reason, but something doesnt sound exactly right.
 
Thanks again guys! Your opinions are helping me a great deal~

Case - I don't think she has a BF. A lot of my other comments from before last week have survived as far as I know. It was like 2 days worth of comments that vanished. I am continuing to be careful at this stage.

Locke - I'm with you on this. It's on her. I've not instigated a conversation with her since around midday yesterday. We spoke today briefly. She said "Morning Gorgeous x" To which I said "Hey Angel. How are you?" She never responded after that, lol. To be honest, if nothing changes soon, I wont be meeting her. The more this.. situation? goes on, the less I like her. If we're not getting on like we used to by the end of next week, it'll be all but over. Thanks for the wishes though!

Lady X - She did have a really crap week. I know this. But she appears fine in the status' (Of which there are many posted per day) Maybe she's putting on a brave face for Facebook. Maybe she is putting on a.. sad? face on for me. Who knows. I will be careful for sure. I'm just trying to play it cool, even though it nags at me as I'd rather just know what the hell is the deal. She's assured me that we're fine. But we don't act it.

Lippy Kidd - If I'm honest, I think I am in too deep, too soon. For some reason I've grown very fond of this Girl in a very short time. Like 1 month. This doesn't normally happen to me. True. I've seen this on the dating site I visit. Some people want you to be perfect or they'll drop you in an instant. Yes! I've done that recently! I stopped using the site, even though I've only been looking for friends all along. I will change that tonight though.

Cheers!

alohdrahon said:
Sounds like everybody else gave pretty good advice and i wasnt gonna comment but that thing about her not returning your calls sounds a little fishy. I dont know, theres a lot of dishonest people in the world, lot of bat honeysuckle crazy beard people too. I say just give it a chance try not to worry about it, give her the benefit of the doubt but be wary, if that kinda stuff keeps happening its probably a good indicator shes got something going on in the background shes not telling you about. See how the face to face meeting goes and base your relationship off that, not the online contact. It could be maybe things were moving too fast and she just needed some space. Either way best of luck and i hope it works out. Just dont do anything too hasty if you really like her, there could be a good reason, but something doesnt sound exactly right.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your input. There is something you guys should know. She has a child. The father of that child and her are fighting for custody. However until that Thursday, nothing effected her enough to be like this. Even on the Thursday, when she had to go to Court, we were fine all day. I highly doubt that this is a legitimate reason for her to seemingly turn off the way she has.
 
Naleena said:
Whatever it is, its not you. My thoughts are she isn't being completely honest. Maybe the fb was hacked, but that has nothing to do with her phone. She may be using you like a rubber-band man. She maybe interested, but not that interested. Id back away. After acting like that to you, she needs to work for it- not you. Let her come to you for a while.
Click to expand...

I agree, Nal. It may have been just an extreme example of coincidences, but if you feel like you've caught her in a lie about it, I'd be very wary about it. Sounds odd to me.
 
Yeah I've thought that since it happened.. That a rather unusual chain of coincidences occurred. This is why I was worried. All of these bad things happened in perfect harmony it seems.

Alas, I've stopped talking to her. She can talk to me if she wants to and that's that.
 
Just an update on what's going on. She is still being funny with me. She spoke to me this morning. But it was the way any of us would talk. Not her normal personal way. I might make today D (Decision) Day and confront her again. If I do, I will tell her the suspisions of everyone I've spoken to and I will have a few words of advice. I'm sorry but I don't do this honeysuckle. I don't do being indoubt or having to second guess, as someone on here already said. I have the rest of my working day to figure out what to do.
 
Gutted said:
Hello everyone,

I have a situation here for you. I would like to know what you think the deal is.

About 8 weeks ago, I tried this free online dating site just to see what it was like. It was pretty crap. However, I did get talking to a Girl and we hit it off. I added her on Facebook and Skype, and got her number soon after. Until last Thursday we were a sure thing. We spoke every morning, during the day whilst I was at work and at night before we went to bed.

However, there I was last Thursday, talking to her on Facebook as normal when boom! She vanishes. Her account is gone! I was shocked. Thought I'd said something wrong. So I texted her. No response. I jumped onto Skype to find her online. So I said 'Hello?' 10 seconds later she vanishes from there too. By now I am extremely concerned. So I text her again. No response. Next I tried to call her. The phone rang twice but I got nothing. So I left it. A few hours later I texted her one last time and I left her a voicemail asking what the hell is up.

Friday comes and there I am, pretty annoyed and upset, sitting in the workplace canteen waiting to be briefed when what happens? I get a text from the Girl saying 'What's up?' I call her and explain the situation and she tells me someone hacked her Facebook but everything is fine with us. Seems legit. However ever since, things have been weird. For example, we've barely talked. When we do talk it's different. She lacks interest. She talks to me differently. She hasn't been online on Skype since. I'm pretty sure I have been deleted. She says her Facebook was hacked and her friends were blocked/deleted and yet the only difference I noticed when I was eventually added back was that a honeysuckle ton of my comments on her status' were gone. Everything else not only seemed normal. But she'd been posting at the time I was texting her. She told me she was asleep. That her net failed which was why Skype didn't work and she didn't reply to my texts. But clearly that isn't true. The posts prove that.

Now I am left thinking what the hell? Is this some weird way of saying she's suddenly not into me? I've not pulled her on it due to me possibly being wrong and then that costing us our relationship. At the same time though, I'm certain she needs to be confronted. My mind wont be put at rest otherwise and we may always be awkward when talking.

What do you think is going on?
Click to expand...

I know your happy you've finally met somebody who has shown some interest in you - but do you really need the hassle ?

Do you think your the only guy she is talking to ?

I doubt it. When she loses interest in you, she is obviously talking to some other bloke. She deleted your messages so the other bloke wouldn't see them, that's my guess. She's trying to avoid you because she isn't interested anymore. If you've caught her out lying then what's she going to be like if you start going out with her ?

I would stay clear. Don't contact her again and see what happens !

Don't worry either. Not worth it !
 
No I don't need the hassle. I was really very happy before I met her. I was open to a relationship but it wasn't something I was desperately looking for (Nor will it ever be I think) Now I am less happy, despite not losing anything. She is doing this to me.

Absolutely not. I think 90% of the people she knows are guys. Not sure how often she talks to them though. She doesn't appear to say much to them on Facebook, but she does seem to add one guy or another every few days. At least, she's added around 10 guys in the time I've known her. She told me when we met that she's only had 1 BF in her life and that she doesn't do anything with anyone outside of relationships. Sounds nice but I think it's fair to assume she flirts with others the same way she flirts with me.

That's a possibility. Another possibility might be that she is completely oblivious to the stuff she is doing and how it's effecting us. People can be that clumsy. Will have to wait and see though.

It's becoming less and less worth it by the day. I just want closure now. As I type this, I am trying to talk to her. But she is apparently busy. To be honest, I think we all know where this is going.

Thanks for your response!
 
9006 said:
Soon as I read the first paragraph I kinda guessed it would be where someone shows interest then stops. Seems to happen quite often, I've also experienced this.

I often think that sometimes your just there as a void filler, until someone "better suited" comes along.
Click to expand...


It happens all the time. It's really so bad that I dread sending someone a message these days cause if they respond I know at some point they will vanish.
The biggest key word I watch out for is if they use the word "busy" in a sentence. That word for some reason means they are about to vanish or cut back on talking until they slowly vanish.
 
Yep yep. She's been 'Busy' lately. She's currently ignoring me. Not even looking at my messages. She has until I go to bed tonight to grow some balls and face the music. Else she will be history.

Tic-toc Lucy :p
 
Gutted said:
Yep yep. She's been 'Busy' lately. She's currently ignoring me. Not even looking at my messages. She has until I go to bed tonight to grow some balls and face the music. Else she will be history.

Tic-toc Lucy :p
Click to expand...

Well, she either talks to you or she doesn't. I mean, it would be nice (as a friend in general, I guess) if she did say something to you. But just let yourself know that even if she eventually does say something to you, that it could probably be nothing more. You know, just have the nice conversations with her - when she does respond - and let that be that.

Also, I can't imagine how difficult it might be fighting for the custody of a child. Even though I know that can be hard as hell, it still doesn't explain the chain of odd events that happened.
 

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