Difficulty Making Connections with People

Why do you think some people have such an easy time connecting with other people? Why is it some people no matter what they do cant seem to get that switch to flip and have fulfilling relationships, or in some cases cant seem to get aquaintances much less friends?

I have a few people ive made connections with who I just clicked right away and i dont understand why. Then other times like certain places, online and off that it just doesnt seem to matter what i do its not gonna happen. Does anybody else feel like this and doesnt really understand why?

If everybody wouldnt mind could you list some things, just off the top of your head that help you feel a connection to people? Also maybe list some things that would potentially cause you to avoid a person.

I would really appreciate any insight into this as im trying to better myself and overcome some bad habits etc due to a life lived with anxiety induced thinking and at the point im at now (working on overcoming my anxiety) its hard to tell whats automatic negative thinking, and whats reality. If that makes any sense.

Because of the huge amount of time ive lived alone the majority of my life im thinking maybe i didnt learn some basic social skills and knowledge others take for granted.


Thanks ahead of time for any advice or insights.

I've made a couple of similar threads, and I am very lost right now on how to connect with people. So unfortunately I can't offer much advice.

I noticed your avatar has the 'away' symbol, and your sig says, "Wont be back." I don't know why you left, but one thing I've just recently figured out is you can't connect with people if you're not actually around. Seems so obvious, but its so difficult sometimes, especially if you're like me and take things too hard. The temptation to run away is always on my mind.

I don't feel like I fit in here, but that could be the anxiety talking, so I'm trying my best. If your anxiety is driving you away from people and communites, you have to fight it, every second of every day.

But maybe you just didn't like it here. Who knows? I just thought I'd leave this here in case you do come back one last time. You left your account open, so PM me if you ever want to talk.

I have problem connecting with people too! I tend to be more of an out cast more than anything! I believe timing is everything! I think I sort of have figured how to connect with people..Make eye contact and sort of copy their style of talking..I have tried that and it worked..I have trouble looking at people's eyes so I stare at their foreheads and they don't seem to notice.But as I got to know more people,the more I start to dislike them sadly...I used to love everyone...thank goodness I don't like cussing otherwise I'd just walk around with an offensive hand gesture xD

If I ever find the answer I'm bottling it and selling it.

Looking at people, though, I think a lot of it comes down to comfort around people and the ability to make others comfortable. Those who are open, expressive, and charismatic seem to do best.

I have the same problem, so don't worry you're not alone. For me it's very hard to open myself up to people cause I'm constantly always worrying what they'll think of me. Still trying to gain my self esteem back so I find it easier to talk to people. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone in this.

common ideals and values, a similar sense of humor (that creates fake connections too, it's dangerous), and in general trying to listen more to what people say. I believe though that finding people you really connect with is very rare, too rare.

While I'm getting better at connecting with other people, I still struggle with it as well. In my case it's been because of a number of things--shyness, fear of being bullied, lack of social skills, and low self-esteem. I get the sense that some people just feel more comfortable in social situations than others, so as a result, they have no problem being themselves, people are attracted to them, and they find more people to click with. Self-confidence issues aside, I think it also has a lot to do with how outgoing you are in general, and how easily you can find similarities between yourself and other people.