Last year of high school

I moved to a new state after my freshman year of high school which caused a lot of problems. I've never really been an outgoing person, the type that when they go anywhere, they make friends and talk to others with ease. However, if someone gets to know me and take the time to talk to me first, then I open up.

Anyways, after I moved here I was introduced to a new high school, bigger then my last, and I have yet to make any close friends that I feel I can hang out with as I did back in my old state. On top of that, I haven't had a girlfriend all of these years and the combination of the two have made me really depressed and lonely; however, I'm one of those people that keep it in and don't tell anyone or express their feelings publicly, I just hide it.

I've gained some weight over these past years due to working my first jobs and having to deal with the stress of school and work, but I think it's also because I tend to eat when I'm lonely and bored, which is very often. My self confidence has dropped a lot and I honestly don't really know what to do anymore.

My siblings are the complete opposite and both make friends extremely easily and get girlfriends / boyfriends easily as well... In the past two years I've had a friend come over once while they have friends come over almost every weekend... I'm not sure why I'm like this and what to do to fix it so I thought I'd finally kind of share what I'm feeling with others, whether this all makes sense or not.

This will be my last carefree teenage summer and then my last year of high school and to be honest, I haven't done anything that gave me good memories of anything. I try so hard to be a positive person appreciating what I do have in life; a nice home, a great family, a job, but those things like a girlfriend, close friends, and overall companionship that I lack just really get me down.



Sorry if this thread doesn't make sense at all. I joined the forum, saw a board for loneliness, started a thread and just started typing... Hopefully someone can relate to what I'm going through and tell me how they have dealt with it.

Moving to a new place like that never is easy when you're young. A lot changes an you kinda gotta "start over" again.

Keeping things IN is never a good idea, it's good (mentally) to talk an share your feelings and if you have nobody to do that with then maybe this forum can be of use to you to sort of get something off your chest. It also sounds like you're comfort eating to feel better about your issues (which this does) but this can cause physical an mental problems so I'd try an cool it with that.

It's good that your trying to approach these things with a positive attitude, this is so hard considering it's much easier to focus on negatives. Maybe realizing that this is your last year of summer to do what you want is the motivation you need to change something you feel needs changing.

I know what you mean. I went to a different highschool last year too, graduated now. Never really made friends there, just a couple of people I'd smoke with during the break. I didn't like the people so I didn't make any effort to even make friends, and I barely see the people from my old highschool (in the same city) anymore, but that's for me to blame, these people weren't that good friends either (except for 2 girls I sometimes still see). I didn't even want to hang out with them anymore.

I did manage to become quite good friends with some colleagues and people I met while going out, they kind of keep me from being absolutely isolated. The problem is that I don't really consider them as extremely good friends, but it's nice to be able to hang out if I really want to. Don't have a girlfriend either, never really had a relationship, it really screwed up my self-confidence. My brother does have a girlfriend (he has had 3 of them, he's one year older than me), and even though people think I'm the better looking one, I've never had one, really weird. I must note that I (against all odds) met a very nice girl last weekend, we had dinner today and she's very sweet, things might work out this time.

I can at least give you one useful advice; don't look for a relationship. It just makes you sad, and you're still young, everything could happen (especially when you don't expect it). And for the friend thing, it's just one more year of high school. Are you going to college after that? That would ne something to look forward to. I look forward to it, I can't wait for this summer to end and start studying, I see it as an opportunity to leave everything behind and make a brand new start.

I am really sorry to hear that, but you are not alone, there are many like us out there
I might be the direct opposite of you in the terms you have discribed, but I made a thread in Lonliness(Lost in Translation), where I reflect on some of the issues you have been facing. If you read it, it might help you in some way or the other. And even if we are so opposite, we still face the same problems, so don't worry. If you are going to university you will hopefully find some that find themselves in the same boat as you. So, ALC, hang in there, things will, slowly, get better and work out for you

Also, welcome to the forum ALC

9006 said:

Moving to a new place like that never is easy when you're young. A lot changes an you kinda gotta "start over" again.

Keeping things IN is never a good idea, it's good (mentally) to talk an share your feelings and if you have nobody to do that with then maybe this forum can be of use to you to sort of get something off your chest. It also sounds like you're comfort eating to feel better about your issues (which this does) but this can cause physical an mental problems so I'd try an cool it with that.

It's good that your trying to approach these things with a positive attitude, this is so hard considering it's much easier to focus on negatives. Maybe realizing that this is your last year of summer to do what you want is the motivation you need to change something you feel needs changing.

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Yeah, and I knew it wasn't wise to keep things bottled up inside but like you said, I don't really have anyone super close that I could open up and express how I'm feeling to... which is really why I searched for a forum that maybe I could post my thoughts and what not just to get them out there.

aspalas said:

I know what you mean. I went to a different highschool last year too, graduated now. Never really made friends there, just a couple of people I'd smoke with during the break. I didn't like the people so I didn't make any effort to even make friends, and I barely see the people from my old highschool (in the same city) anymore, but that's for me to blame, these people weren't that good friends either (except for 2 girls I sometimes still see). I didn't even want to hang out with them anymore.

I did manage to become quite good friends with some colleagues and people I met while going out, they kind of keep me from being absolutely isolated. The problem is that I don't really consider them as extremely good friends, but it's nice to be able to hang out if I really want to. Don't have a girlfriend either, never really had a relationship, it really screwed up my self-confidence. My brother does have a girlfriend (he has had 3 of them, he's one year older than me), and even though people think I'm the better looking one, I've never had one, really weird. I must note that I (against all odds) met a very nice girl last weekend, we had dinner today and she's very sweet, things might work out this time.

I can at least give you one useful advice; don't look for a relationship. It just makes you sad, and you're still young, everything could happen (especially when you don't expect it). And for the friend thing, it's just one more year of high school. Are you going to college after that? That would ne something to look forward to. I look forward to it, I can't wait for this summer to end and start studying, I see it as an opportunity to leave everything behind and make a brand new start.

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That's good that you met someone and I hope things work out for you! But yeah, I somewhat took that approach recently to not really caring as much about not being in a relationship but it's tough going out and seeing everyone with someone and then knowing that you don't have someone like that. And yes, that's the plan, to go to college so hopefully like you said that will be kind of like another new start, but one I can do right this time around.

EJH said:

I am really sorry to hear that, but you are not alone, there are many like us out there
I might be the direct opposite of you in the terms you have discribed, but I made a thread in Lonliness(Lost in Translation), where I reflect on some of the issues you have been facing. If you read it, it might help you in some way or the other. And even if we are so opposite, we still face the same problems, so don't worry. If you are going to university you will hopefully find some that find themselves in the same boat as you. So, ALC, hang in there, things will, slowly, get better and work out for you

Also, welcome to the forum ALC

Click to expand...

I'll definitely read through your thread now EJH and thank you.


Thanks to everyone that's replied so far. While it may not seem as if it means much, it does to me to see that someone actually can relate or give me advice based on personal experience, I really appreciate you all.