wife and net friend ..

i got married... but i don't like her physically much... she is very nice by heart.. but i have i have another online friend (whom i never met) i get her attracted very much... now a days she is secret girl in my life.. (i m sure i don't cross my limit with her... but i like to talk to her more than my wife.. )
should i keep in touch with my net friend.. ? without telling my wife.. i dotn want to tell my wife coz it shluldt create doubt .. or in future it shouldn't harm our relation...

ur suggections.. plzzz

I've said this before, and I'm going to say it again. You need to talk to your wife and be open and honest with her. She's your wife - even if you don't love her, can you at least respect her? Unless she's totally abusive towards you or something, then I'd understand.

Let me ask you this - what do you want, really?

i want to create feelings for her... but i m not understanding myself.. so asking my doubts..
i never behaved with her badly..

Always be honest with your wife. But I'm not sure you can "create feelings" for someone. You either care about her and love her, or you don't. Do you want to be married to her?

ineedhelp said:

i got married... but i don't like her physically much...

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Then you shouldn't have married her.

ineedhelp said:

she is very nice by heart.. but i have i have another online friend (whom i never met) i get her attracted very much...

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That's called emotional/mental cheating.

ineedhelp said:

now a days she is secret girl in my life.. (i m sure i don't cross my limit with her

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This is called dishonesty. Yes, you DO cross lines - you've formed some sort of emotional and physical attachment to a woman who isn't your wife.

ineedhelp said:

... but i like to talk to her more than my wife.. )
should i keep in touch with my net friend.. ? without telling my wife..

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Seriously? You actually have to ask that question? I think you know the answer already. More dishonestly and hiding things from your spouse. tsk, tsk

ineedhelp said:

i dotn want to tell my wife coz it shluldt create doubt ..

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It SHOULD create doubt in her mind. You obviously know you're doing something wrong, yet you keep doing it. It's unfair to your spouse and selfish in the extreme.

ineedhelp said:

or in future it shouldn't harm our relation...

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The future? How about the present? It's already harmed it, obviously.
Duh.

ineedhelp said:

ur suggections.. plzzz

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My suggestion is for your wife - she should kick you to the curb and find someone who shows her a hell of a lot more respect than YOU do.

true true... agreed... feeling guilty... i have to work hard... will remember this...
am i sick?

ineedhelp said:

true true... agreed... feeling guilty... i have to work hard... will remember this...
am i sick?

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I can't answer that.
You're sure as hell selfish though. Ditch your internet friend and remember the promise you made when you spoke your vows. Or....do her a favor and leave now, before you bring any children into the world. You obviously have no feelings and no respect for her. What's the point of being married to her?

ineedhelp said:

true true... agreed... feeling guilty... i have to work hard... will remember this...
am i sick?

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Dishonest and very cruel if your wife has done nothing wrong to you but sick??

I highly doubt it. This happens to many people and it IS normal (though admittedly it happens with people in person, not on the internet). This is how cheating happens.

I am not sure why exactly one would marry a person they don't feel complete devotion to so you need to ask yourself what you want in your life. This might be a bad mistake that will follow you for years to come so figure out your priorities and then act upon them. While living in current situation might be easiest thing to do right now, it is only postponing the inevitable..

hmm..

ineedhelp said:

hmm..

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:club:

Hi ineedhelp. I'm the last person on this earth who should be giving you relationship advice.

I've been reading your posts and going by your situation, I feel like you are currently going through a lot right now. It won't be a good idea to get yourself into a mess of getting attracted to another women.

Deal with your current situation before you try out something new.

Waffle said:

I am not sure why exactly one would marry a person they don't feel complete devotion to so you need to ask yourself what you want in your life. This might be a bad mistake that will follow you for years to come so figure out your priorities and then act upon them. While living in current situation might be easiest thing to do right now, it is only postponing the inevitable..

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I agree with Waffle. I really don't understand why you would marry someone who you don't love. Was it an arranged marriage? Are you being forced to stay? If you don't love her, the best thing you can do for both you and her is leave. Staying in a loveless marriage will likely do a lot more harm than good.

I'm sorry if I sound rude or mean, I really am trying to understand your problems, and this is all of course my opinion. But at this point, I feel more sympathy for your wife than I do for you.

How would you react if you find out that your wife (whom you don't love) is having an extra-marital affair on internet (she hasn't crossed the limits though)??

I agree with everything eve was framed has said here.

SomeoneSomewhere said:

Deal with your current situation before you try out something new.

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Great advice

If I said what I thought, I would get the first ban in my life.

ineedhelp said:

i got married... but i don't like her physically much... she is very nice by heart.. but i have i have another online friend (whom i never met) i get her attracted very much... now a days she is secret girl in my life...

Click to expand...

ineedhelp said:

i got married... but i don't like her physically much... she is very nice by heart.. but i have i have another online friend (whom i never met) i get her attracted very much... now a days she is secret girl in my life.. (i m sure i don't cross my limit with her... but i like to talk to her more than my wife.. )
should i keep in touch with my net friend.. ? without telling my wife.. i dotn want to tell my wife coz it shluldt create doubt .. or in future it shouldn't harm our relation...

ur suggections.. plzzz

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Well, considering the way your post reads, it seems like you have trouble communicating your thoughts properly.

Have you tried "Hooked On Phonics"?

I think the doubt is already there, and your relationship is likely already harmed. Nonetheless, no one can predict what the future will bring. I would talk to your wife about it, see how she feels. For what it's worth, I think a marriage to someone who you are not physically attracted to is likely doomed to fail. But she deserves to know, so you can decide together.

theglasscell said:

Have you tried "Hooked On Phonics"?

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English as a second language can present some difficulties when trying to write in English.