a year ago

I was in the middle of getting scammed by this 'Russian' woman who I 'met' on a dating site.

Looking back I don't know why I fell for it. At first I went along with it for amusement but then I thought she may be for real and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Which is crazy when you think about it. I used to look forward to her emails and feel better when she sent them. I worked 8 hour days and couldn't wait to get home and switch on my computer. She claimed to be a simple teacher roughly my age. She liked riding cycles and baking cakes. She was normal looking, no shots of big tits or anything. I liked her photo's and her life. There were so many red flags though, she never asked to see what I looked like, her profile on the dating site disappeared a few days after she sent the initial letter to me, she never had a phone or facebook. She rang me up and working out the time, it would have been midnight for her and she was supposed to be ringing me up from a post office. I probably chose to ignore all this and continued to believe it could be true.

I searched and searched to try and find information about her on the internet. There was nothing concrete to nail that she was a scammer. I was way too soft though and in the end I lost about a month's salary. She asked for more money about £2,500. I didn't send that. She threatened to kill herself. I wouldn't budge and I never heard from her again.

At work it was the main story that everybody talked about. When she declared her 'love' for me I decided to stop writing but this work colleague persuaded me to carry on and see what happened. I guess they all had a good laugh at me. They all think I have no chance with women and I am a loser. I wanted to prove them wrong.

I saw it as the final straw, the final kick in the balls. I am just not interested anymore. Nothing has happened in the last year regarding women and I am glad.

duff said:

Looking back I don't know why I fell for it. At first I went along with it for amusement but then I thought she may be for real and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Which is crazy when you think about it. I used to look forward to her emails and feel better when she sent them. I worked 8 hour days and couldn't wait to get home and switch on my computer. She claimed to be a simple teacher roughly my age. She liked riding cycles and baking cakes. She was normal looking, no shots of big tits or anything. I liked her photo's and her life. There were so many red flags though, she never asked to see what I looked like, her profile on the dating site disappeared a few days after she sent the initial letter to me, she never had a phone or facebook. She rang me up and working out the time, it would have been midnight for her and she was supposed to be ringing me up from a post office. I probably chose to ignore all this and continued to believe it could be true.

Click to expand...

This is a prime example of why dating on the internet is NEVER as safe as normal social interaction. You're more likely to meet people like THIS who exploit people's emotions, and when someone's single who just wants a relationship it's enough to blind you of what's really going on.

duff said:

I searched and searched to try and find information about her on the internet. There was nothing concrete to nail that she was a scammer. I was way too soft though and in the end I lost about a month's salary. She asked for more money about £2,500. I didn't send that. She threatened to kill herself. I wouldn't budge and I never heard from her again.

Click to expand...

You have to be careful, people like this aren't publicized much unless they're a prolific scammer, and even if this is the case, she (if, in fact it was a woman) would change her name and other details each attempt making finding him/her next to impossible.

duff said:

I saw it as the final straw, the final kick in the balls. I am just not interested anymore. Nothing has happened in the last year regarding women and I am glad.

Click to expand...

It's probably gonna be hard but try not to dwell on this, people make mistakes. Just because you've been scammed out of money doesn't make it any less embarrassing than being ripped off in a shop or whatever.

First of all, that really, really sucks. I wish we could all find that scumbag and teach him/her a lesson in decency.

One understanding you have learned from this is that people of all types get scammed. I've been conned before, and through that experience, I learned how to avoid con-jobs. Right now, you're more informed about Russian dating scams. I consider that positive growth, and you should, too.

As for being a loser, you know you aren't any more of a loser than anyone else on the planet. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We all have successes and failures. The lesson is how we deal with them and how it makes us feel about ourselves. The trick is to learn from the mistakes, and to have a positive attitude about the future. Not easy, I know, but necessary for growth.

I like the fact that you want to prove people wrong. That shows you have some fight in you. But whatever you do in life, do it for YOU. Don't do anything simply to gain validation. Do it because it pleases you. Only YOU can define your own happiness, so don't give that away. The only validation you should ever require is professionally, and the occasional parking stub. lol

My final thought is this: At some point, a woman will enter your life who wants to have a relationship with you. It will be up to you to lower your defenses to this person and be vulnerable. It's a very hard thing to do after being hurt, but it will be worth it. Good luck.

9006 said:

duff said:

Looking back I don't know why I fell for it. At first I went along with it for amusement but then I thought she may be for real and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Which is crazy when you think about it. I used to look forward to her emails and feel better when she sent them. I worked 8 hour days and couldn't wait to get home and switch on my computer. She claimed to be a simple teacher roughly my age. She liked riding cycles and baking cakes. She was normal looking, no shots of big tits or anything. I liked her photo's and her life. There were so many red flags though, she never asked to see what I looked like, her profile on the dating site disappeared a few days after she sent the initial letter to me, she never had a phone or facebook. She rang me up and working out the time, it would have been midnight for her and she was supposed to be ringing me up from a post office. I probably chose to ignore all this and continued to believe it could be true.

Click to expand...

This is a prime example of why dating on the internet is NEVER as safe as normal social interaction. You're more likely to meet people like THIS who exploit people's emotions, and when someone's single who just wants a relationship it's enough to blind you of what's really going on.

duff said:

I searched and searched to try and find information about her on the internet. There was nothing concrete to nail that she was a scammer. I was way too soft though and in the end I lost about a month's salary. She asked for more money about £2,500. I didn't send that. She threatened to kill herself. I wouldn't budge and I never heard from her again.

Click to expand...

You have to be careful, people like this aren't publicized much unless they're a prolific scammer, and even if this is the case, she (if, in fact it was a woman) would change her name and other details each attempt making finding him/her next to impossible.

duff said:

I saw it as the final straw, the final kick in the balls. I am just not interested anymore. Nothing has happened in the last year regarding women and I am glad.

Click to expand...

It's probably gonna be hard but try not to dwell on this, people make mistakes. Just because you've been scammed out of money doesn't make it any less embarrassing than being ripped off in a shop or whatever.

Click to expand...

I might change my mind in a few months / years. I don't think about it that much. I paid her the money by a western union transfer. When I see an advert for western union I tend to think 'fresia off'

It was a bad mistake, one I won't repeat for sure !

---

Case said:

First of all, that really, really sucks. I wish we could all find that scumbag and teach him/her a lesson in decency.

One understanding you have learned from this is that people of all types get scammed. I've been conned before, and through that experience, I learned how to avoid con-jobs. Right now, you're more informed about Russian dating scams. I consider that positive growth, and you should, too.

As for being a loser, you know you aren't any more of a loser than anyone else on the planet. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We all have successes and failures. The lesson is how we deal with them and how it makes us feel about ourselves. The trick is to learn from the mistakes, and to have a positive attitude about the future. Not easy, I know, but necessary for growth.

I like the fact that you want to prove people wrong. That shows you have some fight in you. But whatever you do in life, do it for YOU. Don't do anything simply to gain validation. Do it because it pleases you. Only YOU can define your own happiness, so don't give that away. The only validation you should ever require is professionally, and the occasional parking stub. lol

My final thought is this: At some point, a woman will enter your life who wants to have a relationship with you. It will be up to you to lower your defenses to this person and be vulnerable. It's a very hard thing to do after being hurt, but it will be worth it. Good luck.

Click to expand...

thanks for your kind words !