BMWgirl1213
New member
New to the site. Found it while searching the internet for something to help me get through my everyday life. Looking to reach out to others in a similar situation as me and be my support.
I was born and raised in New England but was moved to Florida when I was 16. I truly believe this is when all my problems started, or at least came out of hiding. Today, I live the life that any girl/woman could dream of. I have a wonderful family that has truly supported me through everything, friends I wouldn't trade for the world, just finished graduate school, have an awesome job, financially stable, just bought my dream car and am waiting for my first home to be finished being built. What more could I ask for? Well I feel like everything, but mainly love. I hide behind my smile. Pretend that everything is okay, but its not. I feel lonely even when surrounded by the ones that love me the most. I feel like I am never good enough and never will be. How am I supposed to love someone else when I don't even love myself? I'm self conscious about the way I look, I hate everything about myself. I have even stooped to plastic surgery and I want more done. I constantly compare myself to others and instead of be appreciative of what I do have, I am jealous of what I don't have (or don't look like) and others do. I know logically, there's something off in my mind. The way it works isn't correct, but I can't change the way it does. I feel lost. I was diagnosed with depression and an eating disorder about 5 years ago. Although, I am better now, I am not better, if that makes sense. Every day is a struggle, some worse than others.... Is it possible to ever fully recover?
Anyways, enough rambling about my problems... Just wanted to say hello to everyone!
I was born and raised in New England but was moved to Florida when I was 16. I truly believe this is when all my problems started, or at least came out of hiding. Today, I live the life that any girl/woman could dream of. I have a wonderful family that has truly supported me through everything, friends I wouldn't trade for the world, just finished graduate school, have an awesome job, financially stable, just bought my dream car and am waiting for my first home to be finished being built. What more could I ask for? Well I feel like everything, but mainly love. I hide behind my smile. Pretend that everything is okay, but its not. I feel lonely even when surrounded by the ones that love me the most. I feel like I am never good enough and never will be. How am I supposed to love someone else when I don't even love myself? I'm self conscious about the way I look, I hate everything about myself. I have even stooped to plastic surgery and I want more done. I constantly compare myself to others and instead of be appreciative of what I do have, I am jealous of what I don't have (or don't look like) and others do. I know logically, there's something off in my mind. The way it works isn't correct, but I can't change the way it does. I feel lost. I was diagnosed with depression and an eating disorder about 5 years ago. Although, I am better now, I am not better, if that makes sense. Every day is a struggle, some worse than others.... Is it possible to ever fully recover?
Anyways, enough rambling about my problems... Just wanted to say hello to everyone!
