Rant, high heels.

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Alonewith2cats

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I got into a huge petty argument with my friend on the way home from the mall. She was giving me advice on how to be more attractive to the opposite sex. She told me I should color my hair more blonde and wear heels. I told her that too many chemicals damage my hair and high heels cause my feet tremendous pain. She then got offended that I wouldn't take her advice and pointed out that because I wouldn't take her advice I shouldn't complain about being alone because guys don't like sandals and flats or shoes with laces. I argued back about how I need to be myself, and any guy who is going to be with me is going to accept me just the way I am, and I don't believe the decision of whether or not to wear high heels determines whether or not I'm going to get a boyfriend anytime soon. I know guys are visual creatures but I don't believe I have to torture myself for this purpose. She was adamant that it's going to take me longer to get a boyfriend because guys won't notice me as much if I don't make these changes to my appearance. But she's a woman who hasn't had any real luck with men lately either, yes, she dresses sexier than me and the guys, well, they just want to have sex with her. This argument got so heated we almost got into a car accident, over heels!!! She was driving, complained that I yelled at her and that's why she almost crashed. Well, she put me in a position to defend myself and that's why I raised my voice. I know they look hot, but really, do guys really care that much about high heels? I don't believe so and if I'm wrong I still won't wear them often.
 
I don't care - would I choose a woman because she wears high heels? Err - no!?
 
I'm a guy. Heels just don't do it for me. I think they look fine but there is something wrong about a woman's gait when walking in heels to me. Plus, I like short girls, well I'm 6'4" so pretty much all girls are short but the shorter the cuter.

Good for you for standing up for yourself, are you sure the (almost) crash wasn't because she was wearing heels while driving?
 
Well, it sounds like your friend needs a time out. I understand wanting to help someone, but if the person offering advice does more hurt when you don't take it, I wouldn't even bother talking to them about it. It's one thing to try and help and offer advice, but it's a completely different thing when the adviser believes their word about it is law. Personally, I'd leave her be. I've had people try to tell me what I "need" to do, and I've found it best to ignore them. They can have a crappy attitude all they want, but I won't be any part of it.

Honestly, I'd tell you to be yourself. Hair dye and heels... Well, it's only a plus if you think it is. If you're not comfortable, then don't do it. Besides, there's no point in doing it if you feel like it's changing you in a way that you don't like. I'm certain there are people who would find you attractive - blond hair and heels, or not.
 
I sort of do to be honest...But I don't care for sandals and stuff.I like the sounds they make on the tiles! Eitherways,I think your friend was sort of wrong...if you're going to get a guy to like you based on your looks,well you're going to end up with a broken heart..it is important to look good but it should be a plus point to your personality NOT the other way around.
 
You have to do what is comfortable and right for you. If dying your hair and wearing heels is not your thing, then you don't have to do either of them. I dye my hair because I choose to do so, but I never wear heels.
Some people do get angry and upset when their advice is ignored. It sounds as though your friend has a lot of insecurity about her own looks and feels she has to dress a certain way to get someone, even though it is only gettting her the wrong sort of attention. Don't let her insecurities push you into dressing in a way you wouldn't feel comfortable with.
 
Good thing you stood up for yourself because what your friend said was ridiculous. You shouldn't have to do something that isn't you just to attract guys and that would be for all the wrong reasons. Of course there are guys who don't go for women just because they wear heels and dye their hair. Some living evidence in the above posts. ^
 
Alonewith2cats said:
She then got offended that I wouldn't take her advice and pointed out that because I wouldn't take her advice I shouldn't complain about being alone because guys don't like sandals and flats or shoes with laces. I know they look hot, but really, do guys really care that much about high heels?
Click to expand...

I've gotten hit on plenty of times wearing yoga pants and flip flops as I have when wearing a skirt and stilettos. And, I have been everything from red to pink to blonde to brown. So, from my vantage point your friend's theory is totally ridiculous.

I definitely do not understand her explosive reaction over something so silly as you not taking her advice. Perhaps there is something else bothering her?
 
The fact that she hasn't had any luck with guys leaves a hole in her theory. By her logic guys should be flocking to get to her, even if she does get attention it doesn't seem the right kind.

I'll admit I do like high heels on a woman, but it's NOT something I look for, neither is it something I'd try and enforce. Your views on this are right.
 
I don't date people who are in high heels.
High heels just make the woman look unintelligent no matter how smart she is.
 
Runciter said:
I'm a guy. Heels just don't do it for me. I think they look fine but there is something wrong about a woman's gait when walking in heels to me. Plus, I like short girls, well I'm 6'4" so pretty much all girls are short but the shorter the cuter.

Good for you for standing up for yourself, are you sure the (almost) crash wasn't because she was wearing heels while driving?
Click to expand...

No, she is currently recovering from a sprained ankle and can't wear her heels and misses them. I don't envy her emotional attachment to high heels.

It's really too bad because we had such a good time together until the end of yesterday. Friday night she called me feeling down because a guy she started dating dumped her after 3 dates, so I invited her over, we went for dinner, watched a chick flick, had ice cream, she spent the night. We went to the mall the next day, saw a movie in the theater, did some shopping, then as she drove me home we get into this argument and I come home feeling really horrible. So I start out with helping a friend who is feeling down feel better only for it to be me who ends up feeling like total crap.

I'm getting together with another friend today who doesn't wear heels herself. The truth is not all women can wear them. Some people have more sensitive feet and a more difficult time walking in them than others. It's also very unhealthy as we are not designed by nature to walk this way.
 
Alonewith2cats said:
No, she is currently recovering from a sprained ankle and can't wear her heels and misses them. I don't envy her emotional attachment to high heels.
Click to expand...
Was she wearing heels when she sprained her ankle? :p

Alonewith2cats said:
It's really too bad because we had such a good time together until the end of yesterday. Friday night she called me feeling down because a guy she started dating dumped her after 3 dates, so I invited her over, we went for dinner, watched a chick flick, had ice cream, she spent the night. We went to the mall the next day, saw a movie in the theater, did some shopping, then as she drove me home we get into this argument and I come home feeling really horrible. So I start out with helping a friend who is feeling down feel better only for it to be me who ends up feeling like total crap.
Click to expand...
Sounds like she's just venting some anger on you, I wouldn't take it personally. If I were you I would apologize to her for your part in the argument but also let her know that what she did was uncalled for. Sooner is better than latter, don't give her time to start harbouring some kind of grudge.

Alonewith2cats said:
I'm getting together with another friend today who doesn't wear heels herself. The truth is not all women can wear them. Some people have more sensitive feet and a more difficult time walking in them than others. It's also very unhealthy as we are not designed by nature to walk this way.
Click to expand...
I agree completely, I have no idea why women would choose to wear them. At least you have a friend on the same wavelength as you.

blackdot said:
High heels just make the woman look unintelligent no matter how smart she is.
Click to expand...
I personally think that heels (along with large amounts of makeup) are more a indicator that the wearer is more likely to be superficial, self centered and high maintenance. But I in no way judge an individual based solely on what they choose to wear, nor would I completely discount a woman for wearing them. I prefer to judge people on their views and opinions.

One piece of advice for the ladies that wear heels. If you are walking home from a club on a friday night barefoot, carrying your heels in your hands, you should know that I find this to be one of the single most unattractive things a girl can do. I see this a lot and I don't even go clubbing. All it proves is that you're happy to spend money on things that are essentially unfit for purpose, which is a sign of bad judgment to me.
 
blackdot said:
High heels just make the woman look unintelligent no matter how smart she is.
Click to expand...

^Wrong. I am a female who works in the corporate office of a very large company and wear heels to work quite often. I think people who make sweeping generalizations like that look unintelligent...no matter how smart they like to think they are.
 
I can honestly say I never notice a woman's shoes. I would think that any guy who is going to put that much thought into women's shoes is probably not that interested in dating women anyway.
 
theraab said:
I can honestly say I never notice a woman's shoes. I would think that any guy who is going to put that much thought into women's shoes is probably not that interested in dating women anyway.
Click to expand...

It's the whole notion of women who wear high heels are sexier, kinda like women who wear suspenders, etc.
 
My first boyfriend said he noticed me when I walked into the store and saw I was wearing a long floral skirt with combat boots, and he thought "Nice..." A week later his lips were bruising mine. No heels involved in getting to that step.

I've never been complimented on my flip flops by a man, that's for sure. But that doesn't stop them from looking at me.
That being said, I'm still going to buy and wear another pair of eff-me heels, just.because.I.can.
 
blackdot said:
I don't date people who are in high heels.
High heels just make the woman look unintelligent no matter how smart she is.
Click to expand...

That's the dumbest thing I've ever read here. I'm sorry, that's just as bad as someone saying that females need heels to look attractive. You can have any opinion you want, but do you even think of what you type before you post it?

theraab said:
I can honestly say I never notice a woman's shoes. I would think that any guy who is going to put that much thought into women's shoes is probably not that interested in dating women anyway.
Click to expand...

You look at the boobs, don't you? I know I do. Dem tittays.
 
Sometimes ladies wear heels for a boost of self-esteem. It makes them feel more confident in a way. *shrugs* I don't think one should be judged by what sort of shoes they wear. As they say, don't judge a book by it's cover. People have their reasons for wearing a certain something, we should be open to accept them that way and eventually, if we know them personally, understand the reasons for it. Even if their reasons are stupid.
 
VanillaCreme said:
blackdot said:
I don't date people who are in high heels.
High heels just make the woman look unintelligent no matter how smart she is.
Click to expand...

That's the dumbest thing I've ever read here. I'm sorry, that's just as bad as someone saying that females need heels to look attractive. You can have any opinion you want, but do you even think of what you type before you post it?


Just stating how I feel about high heels. Never understood why women wear something they are going to in turn spend all their time complaining about. A female friend of mine and I were laughing about this exact topic the other week.
Click to expand...
 

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