CM Vader
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2013
- Messages
- 50
- Reaction score
- 0
Well, I guess I signed up here for a reason and this is it I guess.
2013 has been pretty rough. Lost the girl of my DREAMS because of a stupid mistake I did and I have been pretty much been beating myself up about it since February. Add to the fact I lost my job around April and this summer has been miserable. I feel lonely and worthless.
I've self harmed for the first time in my life this year and I regularly have suicidal thoughts. I have a lot of free time to dwell on "what if's" and it does hurt my self esteem.
This girl meant a lot to me and I squandered an amazing chance to be happy for a long time. It's gone now though. I still love her, I think I always will but there will be no second chance with my ex.
But there is a point where I have to get myself back on the game. I'm starting to apply for jobs again and I feel it's time to try and get back on it so to speak.
I'm having trouble though, I constantly compare every girl I meet to my ex. I hate it. My ex was gorgeous tbf. Quite possibly an outstanding woman. Her personality was superb as well. We fitted well together. I was punching way above my weight and I knew that. The fact I messed things up makes me cringe so much sometimes.
It has to end though, the self hate and the regret. I have to move on and try and FORCE myself to meet new girls, new experiences. I have to realise that people have made mistakes before and I'm not the first or last to miss out on chances.
Yes, people might say I'm not ready for dating yet but when is the time to be ready? I can't sit here and mope around forever. It doesn't work like that.
Has anyone been through what I've been through?
2013 has been pretty rough. Lost the girl of my DREAMS because of a stupid mistake I did and I have been pretty much been beating myself up about it since February. Add to the fact I lost my job around April and this summer has been miserable. I feel lonely and worthless.
I've self harmed for the first time in my life this year and I regularly have suicidal thoughts. I have a lot of free time to dwell on "what if's" and it does hurt my self esteem.
This girl meant a lot to me and I squandered an amazing chance to be happy for a long time. It's gone now though. I still love her, I think I always will but there will be no second chance with my ex.
But there is a point where I have to get myself back on the game. I'm starting to apply for jobs again and I feel it's time to try and get back on it so to speak.
I'm having trouble though, I constantly compare every girl I meet to my ex. I hate it. My ex was gorgeous tbf. Quite possibly an outstanding woman. Her personality was superb as well. We fitted well together. I was punching way above my weight and I knew that. The fact I messed things up makes me cringe so much sometimes.
It has to end though, the self hate and the regret. I have to move on and try and FORCE myself to meet new girls, new experiences. I have to realise that people have made mistakes before and I'm not the first or last to miss out on chances.
Yes, people might say I'm not ready for dating yet but when is the time to be ready? I can't sit here and mope around forever. It doesn't work like that.
Has anyone been through what I've been through?