Friendship lost w/a former co-worker.

Hey everyone.

I wondered if anyone else has ever been through this? A friend of mine called the other day to tell me about how her friendship w/a former co-worker has all but gone down the tubes now that they don't work together. She(my friend) moved from TN to Washington State about 8 months ago. She said it has really hurt her bc she thought their friendship extended past the workplace. They've been friends for 10 years. They went out once a month for lunch and have celebrated various events together(bdays, Thanksgiving, kids' graduating hs, etc). My friend said the longer she's been away, the less she hears from the former co-worker/friend. She said its getting harder and harder to get this "friend" to return any messages or emails. She's not "stalking" her or sending her multiple msgs a day. She just tries to contact her once or twice a month and she said its to the point now where the woman doesn't get back w/her at all.

I told her that I had a similar thing happen to me b4 and while it does hurt your feelings, you just have to try to make the best of it. I was friends w/a co-worker for several years. After I left to take another job, we got together about 5 more times (lunch, shopping, etc) and then things just fizzled out. It really upset me, bc when we worked 2gether, we would talk for a couple of hrs after work, go to movies on the weekends every now and then, and meet up twice a month for breakfast. Once we no longer worked together, things became downright uncomfortable(in my opinion). The last couple of times we met up, it was torturous bc it seemed as if we had to "pull stuff out of the air" to talk about. We had NEVER been like that before. I remember driving home that last time thinking, "wow, I think I just lost a friend." I don't want to EVER go through that again. It hurt too much. I saw her a few months ago. We hugged, laughed and talked like we used to when we worked together. As we went our separate ways, I still felt kind of funny, but I came to the conclusion that I guess we were just "work friends" and nothing more. I'll admit though that it still hurts bc I don't think of friendship that way.

I'm curious to know if any of y'all have experienced this as well.

Yep, been there a couple of times. One was a user though so no big loss. Sucks when that happens, makes you feel like they were only your friend because you worked together.

It's sad, especially since your friend really seemed to expect more in the friendship. But, you never know what's going on in this person's life. I think that's the way of life, and hopefully, they'll be able to catch up with each other in the future.

Yes, I have had quite a number of 'situation' friends. When you are on a course together or working together or in a social group together it feels as though the friendship will be lifelong. But when the situation ends, the friendship dies away. It is sad when this happens, but unfortunately it is part of life.