Not-Shy!

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jales

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I know a lot of the people on this site are shy.
But I was wondering (not sure if I'll get any replies)..but are there some people on this site who are NOT shy but still lonely...?


I know sometimes I might try to talk to someone in real life (and i see this as being out going)..then I would get rejected..subtly... like the person might pretend not to hear me..or (well today in a bus I saw someone I knew and they acted like the didnt know me (i know you think maybe they didnt remember but whatever..its not important))..


The point is ...sometimes being outgoing feels really bad as well... because you feel like you do try to be social and that you just fail at it... because STILL you are lonely..and it's not because you are shy.

Plus you deal with rejection..
so are there any "non-shy" alonelylifers?
 
Yeah, I think I'm one of those. Got no problem getting people laughing, or going up and introducing myself, but no matter what I do in the end it always seems like there's nobody there. That can frustrating...I know I've got a natural charisma about me, but I must be using it wrong or something. Sucks.
 
It seems like i have seen some people here mention that they weren't shy. Sure seems reasonable. A move, a lost of a spouse or relationship or a variety of other factors should be able to cause loneliness.
 
Im shy, really shy but i act like if i wasnt. Its the way i found to protect myself. But yeah, im shy. I get red (more than blushing) when im going to talk on the phone (for the first time) with my friends that i didnt meet in the real life yet lolz
 
Skorian said:
People are so shy jales they can't even answer :p

1.gif
 
Sorry I can't really relate. Actually, what you're describing doesn't apply to me on two diffrent levels.

Level the first: I'm really too shy to even aproach people. In fact, the other day I spied a girl I was in the same class with last semester on the street and when she recognized me I said to myself "aww, honeysuckle! She's going to want to say hello." And sure enough she did. After managing to get out a few lines of mumbling in reply I hastely stood up, said "see ya" and made my escape. So yeah, not only do I not have the balls to reach out to others, but I also feel very, I guess, threatened in the unlikely event that they reach out to me.

Zweitens: Because I never even attempt to make conversation with new people, I never get to expirence much in the way of regection. I agree that getting regected is a particularly nasty expirence, but I actually wish I would have to endure that more. The reason being that the way things stand right now, the only person who is at fault for my social woes is yours truly. If I were to be regected by others, then, at the very least, I could be an outcast proper. It's my understanding that this has been the expirence of a lot of the kids who pull off shooting rampages at school--they get rejected by others in general, so they sucumb to exreme misanthropy. Unfortunatly, I can't bring myself to truely hate people like that because, truth be told, people haven't really done me any wrong. So, all the guilt of failing to create relationships with others falls on my shoulders. Lucky me!

Wooof! Sorry about that was a bit on the rambling side there.
 
man, i used to be painfully shy..
but then one day i woke up and was like f*** everybody and what they think about me. life became really easier.
 
Kristen said:
man, i used to be painfully shy..
but then one day i woke up and was like f*** everybody and what they think about me. life became really easier.

Yeah, I gave that a whirl for a bit there. I hope it works out for you better than it did me. The only lasting affect it had on the way I precieve social situations is now I accept that I can't talk to people and every time I get engaged in conversation I kinda just throw up my hands in defeat, bite my lip and endure the social akwardness.
 
An archist said:
I agree that getting regected is a particularly nasty expirence, but I actually wish I would have to endure that more. The reason being that the way things stand right now, the only person who is at fault for my social woes is yours truly. If I were to be regected by others, then, at the very least, I could be an outcast proper.

That is quite understandable though at the same time i am not quite sure what to make of it. I can't blame anyone either though i think my social incompetence also plays in there. Again that could possibly just be a result of me not giving myself enough learning opportunities.
 
jales said:
I know a lot of the people on this site are shy.
But I was wondering (not sure if I'll get any replies)..but are there some people on this site who are NOT shy but still lonely...?


I know sometimes I might try to talk to someone in real life (and i see this as being out going)..then I would get rejected..subtly... like the person might pretend not to hear me..or (well today in a bus I saw someone I knew and they acted like the didnt know me (i know you think maybe they didnt remember but whatever..its not important))..


The point is ...sometimes being outgoing feels really bad as well... because you feel like you do try to be social and that you just fail at it... because STILL you are lonely..and it's not because you are shy.

Plus you deal with rejection..
so are there any "non-shy" alonelylifers?


Hello there ,
I used to be shy as a child , but i dont think ive REALLY been shy for the past 4-5 years. And the incident your talking about, well its happened about a million times to me and about a millions times to alot of other 'non-lonely' people as well infront of my eyes. Dont take what that person did too personally. Some ppl are just rude and arrogant and they think just coz they know somebody/are somebody/ etc , they have all the right to ignore you. Well this is nothing. Just keep being friendly and eventually ull find some people who are not tards. Actually, think of that person/people who did that to you as the losers, who think theyre better than every1 else but are actually the suck ups who suck balls just to get noticed. There are alot of people in my school who do that , and quite honestly i pity them. They may not be half as lonely as i am, but at least i dont get invited to places/to do stuff just because i can give them transportation/give them money/kiss their asses.

I know this kinda "rejection" can be painful at first, but trust me , not alot of people are like this. And those who are are just some dumb idiots trying to make themselves better.

Im not really shy with ppl, only with girls since ive never had a gf or even a friend who's a girl. Otherwise im not really shy.

Hope i encouraged you a bit dude, just hang in there :)
 
meh sometimes being shy can be a good thing I think its kindof cute
im probably more likely to go out with somone whos shy then someone who isnt
Why? because some people actually find it attractive :)

So if your shy you shouldnt hate it or be ashamed of it Some times its a good thing :D
 
Hijacc said:
meh sometimes being shy can be a good thing I think its kindof cute
im probably more likely to go out with somone whos shy then someone who isnt
Why? because some people actually find it attractive :)

So if your shy you shouldnt hate it or be ashamed of it Some times its a good thing :D

I agree with you, I think shyness in a girl is cute, as long as they smile at you sometimes. Of course if they are too shy then nothing ever happens. I've gone out with both shy types and outgoing types, but as I am shy it is easier for my to relate if their personality is similar.
 
although i think shyness IS in a way cute...but really its not something I think should becomme a part of ur life forever...
 
I don't think I'm shy. I'm very outgoing and talkative when I'm with other people, and I have no problem with public speaking or talking to strangers. But I never actively seek out social situations or people, so I end up alone most of the time. There are definitely lots of other explanations for loneliness other than shyness.
 
I think shyness is a plus in my book if a girl is shy it makes her more approachable and reminds me that I'm not the only one scared out of my ever loving mind talking to someone
 
NeverMore said:
I think shyness is a plus in my book if a girl is shy it makes her more approachable and reminds me that I'm not the only one scared out of my ever loving mind talking to someone

Yeah, sometimes really extrovert people will try and talk to you out of the blue and you just get so scared you shut down completely. I know it wasn't always like this but you just can't shake it. So shyness really makes a person less intimidating, though I've been told that to loud people being around us when we shut down is really uncomfortable, so they just start being even louder.

Gah! Damnable positive feedback loops!
 
Yep, I'm a Leo so I'm naturally outgoing. But when I talk to people I always FAIL. I just say stuff that's really like... awkward, or cynical, or sadistic... When I try to be 'affectionate' toward people, I talk a lot, but I also appear very idiotic like a puppy (that's not cute) or something. That doesn't really help because they don't reciprocate and I just look, and feel, like a fool. I think to make a friend, you have to be ON their level. But when I act like that, I place myself under them... so that doesn't work. :/ But, yeah. I don't usually talk much (and I bet I look like an uptight square) and that deters people, but talking deters them as well-- probably more. I just can't win. -_-
 
im an outgoing, sociable person who makes friends very easily but i don't really feel any kind of connection with any other human being.
 
tadetlugnt said:
im an outgoing, sociable person who makes friends very easily but i don't really feel any kind of connection with any other human being.

HAY! That's me!

I am just like that. Well I do have to rest physically but I am a mentally outgoing person. I to do strongly to connect to ppl.

If I force my self to get on with ppl I can IRL but most of the time I just don't see that the person am trying to connect with has worth it as they normally not the sort of person I wont as a friend. If any of that makes sense.

BTW welcome here :)
 

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