This is really pathetic

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Nice But Dim Jim

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A year to the day I broke up with my partner. The pain is starting to subside now and I am now out of the denial stage thinking we may get back together but there is just one thing I can't do...

and pathetically its take her picture out of my wallet. It has been in my wallet all my adult life and always sat on the right hand side ontop of my licence in the see-thru bit. I have tried a few times and today I tried again and just couldn't bring myself to do it.

What is wrong with me?
 
There is nothing wrong with you. You'll take it out when you're ready.
 
ya, the thing to do isn't to worry about any of that type of stuff. all you need to do is to stop thinking about her, find things to focus on and eventually it wont hurt you to look at it.
there is nothing wrong with you. infact, I would say it is normal for someone who cared strongly for someone.
 
why did you break up with your parnter when you are having such a hard time to get over her? tough i can relate to you a lot. my ex-girlfriend and i had over the past 4 years an on and off relationship, mostly it only held a few weeks or months and in between we didn't see each other sometimes for 6-12 months, actually it never was a "real" relationship. but despite that i never felt something like that for any other person, mainly because its very hard for me to trust or love someone. tough it has been almost half a year since i last saw her and we only spend some months together i still think about her everyday and i think i would go back to her anytime she would call me. at the same time i totally know that i would be absolutely the wrong thing to do.
i think that you may miss the time and the feelings you had for that person and maybe not the person itself. i alwas thought i couldn't find someone else i could feel the same about and i still think that there is no person like her. i am pretty sure there is no one who is like our ex-partners but that doesn't mean that there is no one out there who could actually be even better. the problem is that our thoughts about that person are in the way to meet someone new. there is nothing wrong with you. people are different and some people do have a harder time to get over someone, it depends on our experiences. the thing you have to do is to replace the thoughts about your ex with thoughts about someone or something else. i know its hard because i do have the same problem. but i think sometimes the only way to get over someone is to get "on" someone else ;)
 
Locke said:
There is nothing wrong with you. You'll take it out when you're ready.

This.

Clearly this has sentimental value, this isn't stupid or pathetic - it shows you have feelings at least. I once kept my ex girlfriends hair clips for months after we broke up! The smallest of things have value like that for me.

What Locke said; you'll take it out in your own time.
 
cariiee said:
why did you break up with your parnter when you are having such a hard time to get over her?

I forgot how lucky I was to be with her and took her for granted. I was never cruel, never cheated (never even looked at another girl because I loved her so much) and got her anything she wanted within reason but I stopped paying her attention and looking after her needs and wants as our relationship went on.
 
Keeping the picture makes complete sense, but you might want to find a way not to look at it for some time, cover it up with another picture that is very meaningful to you?
 
I don't really ever look at it but its just there and it feels weird I can't get rid of it. I used to keep her going saying I kept it there to stop me from opening my wallet as her picture would frighten me haha, I'm a terrible person.
 
Still can't do it. Was feeling low today so looked her up on facebook to see she's moved on and now I'm devastated beyond belief. Time for alcohol.
 
I know I'm torturing myself that's the worst part. I have never dealt with a breakup like this when I was younger but then I never loved any of the others.:-(
 
I once met a girl on a flight in the most beautiful encounter ever and while we didn't get into a relationship or anything (I don't even know her name or remember how she looked like (mostly because I was too f'd up to even look up at her)), I still remember the encounter/day as one of my life's most beautiful experiences.

And in that day's and that event's memory, I keep my luggage tag from that day in my wallet (I'm pretty sure I still have the ticket lying somewhere around my house too).

Is that pathetic?

You just cherish the time spent with her and hold onto the picture as a memory. Let me suggest you an alternative. Can you put the picture in some other pocket of your wallet where it still stays with you but you can't constantly see her. Just so you can think of all the fond memories when you want to.

Good luck.
 
In know how hard it is for you, and I know nothing I say can actually help how you are feeling. My advice would be to try focusing on something different, something that can hold you attention for a little while and doesn't remind you of her. Only time will help, she will always be in your heart, but your heart will begin to process the hurt quicker and easier. Maybe allocate 5 minutes a day only to look at her picture. Remember to be kind to yourself above all :). *hugs*
 
You are still hurting.

There is nothing wrong with you, except that you are putting lots of significance on a girl who has probably moved on by now.
 
It's always hard watching someone you love move on with there life without you. Looking them up on facebook never helps I've learnt this from experience. Try not using facebook for a while or blocking her profile also someone I think suggested covering up the picture with another which is a good idea. Hang in there
 
There's nothing wrong with you...it just means you are human and are capable of strong feelings. This is something that only time and distance will heal. Like everyone has said, it is probably best to cover up the picture and stay away from social media.
 
The picture has very little to do with reminding me of her. Everything I do reminds me of how much better it was with her, we had such fantastic times together which is great to look back on but it hurts me so much everyday knowing that breaking up was the right thing even though i still belong completely to her.:(

bums me out because I just can't move on fully because of it.
 
I can understand the pain. Some years ago I fell in love - finally understanding why people write those sappy love songs. I was on cloud nine and spending time with him was all I wanted. It was wonderful, better than any drug as they say. But it didn't work out and it broke my heart to stop seeing him after three years. It took some time for me to realize for all the great times, there were the not-so-great times. Don't know how your relationship was but for mine, I had to keep reminding myself that it wasn't always great and there was a reason it ended. All the photos have long been thrown away and I'm doing alright. It may take a little more time but you'll be just fine too.
 
One of the defining tenants of emotion is its secession from logic. Love is the personification of this - its ability to heal yet also crush, how it can lend such strength yet also take it away. Keep close to your heart those moments that you treasured with that person. Sure, right now they might seem to be interlaced with pain and heartbreak - but the fact that they are capable of such shows just how much they are worth cherishing.

I've been in similar pickles, and I still remember what it was like - it felt like The End Of The World As I Knew It, it racked my thoughts every single damned moment of every day...the spark of life that was within me choked to death and didn't come back for a very long time. But time marched on, and I moved on. It may not seem like it will now, but I used to think the same thing.

Sorry for the speech. :rolleyes:
 
Nothing wrong with you. Earlier this year, I burned stuff given to me by ex's and girls I once cared for greatly. I'd held onto most of the stuff for years and years (between 2 and 5) It just took me all that time to let go (of these things at least) Even now I have photos of ex's in my email inbox, along with as many as hundreds of messages from them. You let go when you feel it's the right time I think. I just don't see any need in getting rid. Not just yet anyway. I never look at the pictures or messages, mind you. If i did, I'd probably get deleting right away xP
 

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