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Fluffy

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Anyone here had or a live a shelter life?

As I mention before I was very close to my mom. So close that she was very over protected of me. And I'm 29. She never let me ride the city bus. Was either with her or a family member. And no I'm not disabled in any way. I was with her pretty much 24/7. Up till when she became very ill. That's when I started to be on my own. Living with my sick dad. Than he passed.
Lately I been thinking because of my mom being overprotective of me. I feel it had a huge impact on me. Now that I'm completely on my own. I know I lack in social skills. I do ok in small groups. I'm really been considering going therapy for it. Or seeing a life coach. But just scare on what or how they will judge me. I want to change who I am but scare as well.
 
hi Fluffy! I am really sorry about your mom and dad, it is already extremely traumatic to lose your parents, but if you go from an overprotected life to being out there by yourself, it's a HUGE step. You probably feel very sad, and a little excited, because it sounds like your life is really about to start.
Sometimes parents try to protect us and spare us things, but they don't understand it's part of the growing process. As you have never lived by yourself before, maybe consider a flatmate?
I think a life coach or some support sounds like a good idea.
Wow, you really need lots of courage in this period. I am older, still I dread the moment my mother (only support I have left) will pass away.
Sending you encouraging thoughts...
 
I've had quite the opposite, my parent's allowed me everything and didn't forbid anything, I had to deal with the problems I created myself as well though.
 
Well, my dad was overprotective of me too.. and when he passed away, I felt lost too. My mother was not dependable.. due to many reasons. It took me awhile to actually get myself on my own two feet. It felt weird to do everything alone.. managing a lot of stuff on my own.. caring for the others in my family.. when it clearly wasn't supposed to be my job.. but no one else was capable. I kinda just forced myself to go through with it... though it took time. Mind you, I was a shy, timid, quiet girl before my dad passed on... now not so, after having gone through all that these past years.

So Fluffy, don't rush it. Take your time.. get in a comfortable position in life and take things easy. I know you want to make changes.. but they just don't happen overnight.

It's good that you are thinking of what is the first step to take.. and if you wanna see a life coach or a therapist, why would they judge you? Isn't it their job to try and understand and help you? So don't worry about it, give it a shot.. if a particular therapist or coach doesn't work, there are many others out there who could be compatible.

Good luck.
 
ladyforsaken said:
, don't rush it. Take your time.. get in a comfortable position in life and take things easy. I know you want to make changes.. but they just don't happen overnight.

It's good that you are thinking of what is the first step to take.. and if you wanna see a life coach or a therapist, why would they judge you? Isn't it their job to try and understand and help you? So don't worry about it, give it a shot.. if a particular therapist or coach doesn't work, there are many others out there who could be compatible.

Good luck.

Been during research on therapy life coach. A co worker is seeing a talk therapist. He recommends her. While I was searching for life coaches online. Found a local one who does naked life coach. I was like no way on that. lol
Like u I'm just been really scare doing things on my own. I do asked my siblings for their opinions advice.
 
Fluffy said:
Been during research on therapy life coach. A co worker is seeing a talk therapist. He recommends her. While I was searching for life coaches online. Found a local one who does naked life coach. I was like no way on that. lol
Like u I'm just been really scare doing things on my own. I do asked my siblings for their opinions advice.

Good for you then, Fluffy. Good thing also that you could turn to your siblings for advice. I couldn't. Hope it all goes well for you.
 
Hi, is it possible for you to live with a sibling temporarily, I know for some not a great idea, but could be comforting and help build some confidence?
 
GraceBlossom said:
Hi, is it possible for you to live with a sibling temporarily, I know for some not a great idea, but could be comforting and help build some confidence?

I have thought of that idea. But my house is paid off. And they don't want me to sell. An older sister is about to loose her house due to foreclosure. I told her her and her family can live with me. It only my brother and I live in my house.
 
as a kid, I lived a sheltered life.
I remember when I got around middle school age my parents wouldn't allow them to give me sex ed class because they didn't think I should know that stuff.
Sadly, I still don't know anything about that stuff since I've still not taken a class in it.
 
Fluffy said:
Anyone here had or a live a shelter life?

As I mention before I was very close to my mom. So close that she was very over protected of me. And I'm 29. She never let me ride the city bus. Was either with her or a family member. And no I'm not disabled in any way. I was with her pretty much 24/7. Up till when she became very ill. That's when I started to be on my own. Living with my sick dad. Than he passed.
Lately I been thinking because of my mom being overprotective of me. I feel it had a huge impact on me. Now that I'm completely on my own. I know I lack in social skills. I do ok in small groups. I'm really been considering going therapy for it. Or seeing a life coach. But just scare on what or how they will judge me. I want to change who I am but scare as well.

I worked for over a year at peer center. Peers in mental health with similar issues are better than the best medicine. Really. They have been there and offer a support from others who really get it. Spending life feeling this way is so unnecessary. You deserve all the happiness life can offer just because you are a person.We all do.
 
I lived a very sheltered childhood, I was not allowed to socialise much because of my Dad. The only time I was allowed out was for school, after that I would be pretty much locked away at home (harry potter life YAY!... Not.). If I mentioned going out or wanting to he would go berserk. I had friends at school and knew most people there and got on ok with everyone but, I just didn't have the social skills or 'life skills' I should have had by the time I left school. (plus my childhood was odd in general)

My brothers & sister were my friends and we are close, but I went to college (where I got dropped in the deep end of life skills and social since I went cities away for it) and that helped me. Now I'm as normal as I'm going to be, I can go in any social situation other people can the only difference is... I don't like it xD I'm just not social, I can if I want to but I like my life of Solitude. I live alone, work, eat and sleep.

My tips would be, if going in the deep end is too much to start, try this forums 'XAT chat' to start, we voice / video skype as well... get ok with meeting and speaking to new people in the comfort of your own home, then in theory it may help in face to face conversations outside (possibly, just an idea)
 
I wasn't very sheltered. And now I fear bad things happening to my children all the time. It's hard to find a balance
 

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