What is one thing you wish your parents could understand?

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That forcing me to sleep at midnight when I'm an insomniac means I'll just be staring at the ceiling for a few hours before I finally fall asleep.
 
That i am their daughter - that summarizes all i've been going thru with them
 
That being an abusive jerk all the time wasn't a good way to raise a kid.
 
I had fantastic parents. They never beat me, they tried to teach me right from wrong, gave me loads of love, kept me well fed and clothed, took me on holidays and outings etc. They understood, and indeed still do understand, pretty much everything about me. I guess I'm lucky.
 
For my mother, that whether a deed is good or not is not determined solely by one's intentions.

It would be nice if she understood a lot of things besides that.

But my mother has never been bright or particularly thoughtful; now she is old, sick, & has senile dementia. It is less pointless to post about it here than to try to talk to her about it. We don't talk at all anymore.
 
Wish my parents could understand that I want my freedom now that I'm all grown. I've lived my life for them, now it's time to live my life for me. I wish they'd understand, that I don't believe in the same things they do but that doesn't make me a different person, doesn't make me a bad person.

Yes, parents. Even though my dad isn't around anymore.

I wish my dad would have known, how angry I was at him. With **** good reasons to be. But I've forgiven him. Cos I love him. That's all.
 
That you can't punish a person into self-sufficiency. You can try, but it won't work well at all for anyone. Unless you don't even wish me well anymore. Do you want to really help me, or do you just want to save money? Whenever I mention "help", the first thing you always say is "you need to see somebody". In other words, so I can get "help" in settling for a life that sucks. No, that is not the help I mean. What I need to have is a little more time in the safe zone so I can get a job that will pay me enough to take care of myself but not so little that I can't respect myself.

Yes - I know I should have been working all the while. Yes - if I could go back in time, that's exactly what I would have done. But still - how am I going to go forward if I can't have my self-esteem?

The other thing I wish I could get them to understand is how deeply I was affected by that girl, how much she hurt me and how it pretty much shut me down. All of last year, and even now, I barely felt like doing anything at all. How can I just carry on and look for jobs and feel motivated and optimistic when my heart is crushed? But I can't even talk about it with them, they'd just dismiss it as me being silly for falling in love with a girl I met on the Internet, they'd just say she probably wasn't even a real girl but some kind of scammer or someone running a prank. I know she was real. And I'm still hurting, so that means it's still hard for me to do anything.
 
Ask yourself this question:
"What would I do if my parents told me I had 30 days to find a job and another 30 days to move out and at the end of that 60 days, they are making me leave?"

PS. They've provided that "safe zone" for almost 30 years. Don't you think it's time that you started doing things other adults do? People get their hearts crushed every day and still work jobs. Maybe their suggestion that you "get help" isn't that far off base.
 
EveWasFramed said:
Ask yourself this question:
"What would I do if my parents told me I had 30 days to find a job and another 30 days to move out and at the end of that 60 days, they are making me leave?"

PS. They've provided that "safe zone" for almost 30 years. Don't you think it's time that you started doing things other adults do? People get their hearts crushed every day and still work jobs. Maybe their suggestion that you "get help" isn't that far off base.

This. I had no self esteem when I had to start over. I found a job, despite everything I was going through.
Get over it and start living your life, instead of relying on others while you get your honeysuckle straight. You know, jumping into the real world could just help you get your honeysuckle straight a little faster.
 
Funny how easy they think things are when they don't have to worry or do it in today's economy.
 
That "being social" is just not for everybody...it certainly isn't for me.

TheSkaFish said:
The other thing I wish I could get them to understand is how deeply I was affected by that girl, how much she hurt me and how it pretty much shut me down. All of last year, and even now, I barely felt like doing anything at all. How can I just carry on and look for jobs and feel motivated and optimistic when my heart is crushed? But I can't even talk about it with them, they'd just dismiss it as me being silly for falling in love with a girl I met on the Internet, they'd just say she probably wasn't even a real girl but some kind of scammer or someone running a prank. I know she was real. And I'm still hurting, so that means it's still hard for me to do anything.

There's not much to add what others haven't pointed out already. Hearts get crushed all the time and usually people don't even have the time to dwell on it because their life depends on it. They can only let go, scrape themselves together and move forward.

You know, it worked exactly the other way around for me. I had a long-distance relationship while I was depressed and when it ended I had realized all the bad things that had happened along the way and it actually made me climb out of the hole and dive into working life - well, it was a paid internship that led to an apprenticeship, but that's beside the point. I wasn't driven by anger or rage though and I never looked back. And my parents never even found out about it either...I could've told them but I chose not to.

The point is, there are too many things out there just waiting to be discovered and you can't let old ghosts drag you down forever - if that makes any sense.
 
I wish they would accept it when I tell them that they won't be seeing any grandchildren from me and stop nagging me about it.
 
ladyforsaken said:
Wish my parents could understand that I want my freedom now that I'm all grown. I've lived my life for them, now it's time to live my life for me. I wish they'd understand, that I don't believe in the same things they do but that doesn't make me a different person, doesn't make me a bad person.

Yes, parents. Even though my dad isn't around anymore.

I wish my dad would have known, how angry I was at him. With **** good reasons to be. But I've forgiven him. Cos I love him. That's all.

I also wish that my mother would realise that arranging a marriage for me is just really selfish and uncalled for, especially after the sacrifices I've made for the family. I'm not asking for much at all, or in return even, I just want them to leave me alone and to stop expecting things from me or expect me to be a certain way.

I wish she'd also understand that my wanting to leave the nest doesn't mean I don't love her anymore....
 

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