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What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?
Round and round and round ...............and always back at the same place
If you see someone without a smile today give them one of yours

I am not this hair, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within

Helping one person may not change the world, but it may change the world for one person

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Feeling pretty "blah". Uninspired, numb, blank.

Sad too, in an almost separate way.

Not sure what I can do, where to go from here. Haven't felt hopeful for a while, for more than one reason.

Wishing I could go back to the turn of the century and do stuff over from there. Even going back to 2010 would have been nice. Never thought I'd feel any nostalgia for the 2000s but here I am.
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Hoping this one girl I met online that seems kinda cool, isn't just a catfish.
If you are interested in connecting on Skype or Facebook, send me a Private Message here and I'll get back to you.
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(09-24-2018, 10:08 AM)Tealeaf Wrote: Every time I leave the city to go home I just feel kind of depressed. I hate this small town. It's like purgatory -- where people go when there's no more hope, no ambition, nothing left.

In an actual city, anything I could ever want is within walking distance of each other. Upscale coffee shops, book stores, book clubs, fast food, open-walled Jamaican bars, grocery stores that are also cafes serving you Thai peanut tofu wraps, parks, churches, comic book stores, tattoo shops, psychics, furniture stores, daycares.

I visited a small coffee shop, an actual nonchain coffee shop and wanted to take some pictures. One of the baristas jokingly posed for me and said he should try being a male model. I love just having these little interactions, and having somewhere to go where I can get them.

Everywhere there's people living out interconnected lives elbow to elbow. Garbage and noise and music and phone calls on every corner. A biker stops at a traffic light and you can hear his songs on an old-fashioned boombox. Snatches of conversation from people walking by. Dogs.

Houses in brick and stone and wood in a hundred different colors in a thousand states of disrepair. Plants and flowers and vines springing up under your feet and art sprayed on walls. You look down a street of houses and it's a tunnel of green and stone filled with flowers like something from a Miyazaki film.

Festival there today, too. Streets closed for people to walk down.

I hate that I only have enough time to make the trip into the cities on weekends, and the rest of the time I have to sit here rotting in a town where the most interesting thing is a Qdoba and some second-rate gardens. I got home today and just cried a bit.

Enlightening. I've always really wanted to wind up in one of those comfy medium/small towns where everyone knows each other.... but maybe because I've lived in the big city my whole life.
I never heard the opposite opinion before from someone on the other end.

I guess you don't really think about how often you take for granted that every story you could need is within walking distance, each in their own parts of town vs a town, where it's the "day to the city".

Huh. Paradoxically, it's like the city is more akin to a town vibe with staying in a small area most of the time vs the town, where you have to get out to get what you need.
Wasn't expecting that.
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I'm really hoping to get my Boyfriend on the same page about a move out date. We have an apartment, a new one, for over a month, that we are paying rent and bills on, yet he "doesn't feel ready to move yet. WTFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Please give me the strength to deal with his aggravating ass for yet another day......
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss
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^ Why doesnt he?
Happiness is a false God.
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feeling depressed
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(02-27-2019, 04:41 AM)Hazed Wrote: ^ Why doesnt he?

Hes not good with change.. and he is lazy..   its a long story about why we needed to find a new apartment in the first place....all his fault....  but it is for the better.  anyway,, we have a nice new place and have been moving things over slowly....but we signed the lease Jan 19.    its freaking time to move...and he just wont budge...   

I'M LOSING MY MIND....
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss
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I am feeling like a drink, but thinking about being broke I better not, hoping this feeling goes away.. I remember the last time I was down and out and don't want to go through that again.
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(02-15-2017, 03:06 PM)Tealeaf Wrote: At this point, I feel like it's almost more trouble than it's worth to be dating. All I can think about is the last few people who didn't stick with me through our first fight, prioritized other things in life, couldn't even set aside a few hours a week to talk without video games or phones in the way...

I realize I really can't gauge people very well. And I have no idea how to approach a relationship now.

How often should we even talk as a couple?

We didn't do anything special for Valentine's Day because we both wanted to rest from work. Is this a sign of us being non-material, or a sign that he doesn't value me because he didn't offer something big?

Should we even be having sex this early? Will he get bored if I give it to him too much and once he's seen all there is to see?

Sounds crazy to even wonder if someone would value me more if I did things differently. I never liked games or people who play them. But they're not the ones who have trouble keeping someone interested once things aren't convenient or novel anymore, I am.

I love this topic, but as usual, your posts strike me the most. This one because it pretty much illustrates a lot of my own experiences and my own beliefs with communication in general.

First of all, if your 'first' fight is all it takes to crack what you have, then I feel it wasn't much to begin with. Relationships aside, even with my friends, we can ALWAYS talk through anything and work past it.
I guess because I'm of that personality who can forgive and forget, and thus I tend to seek out others similar too, also able to do that.
And even if it's just something THAT bad, I would *still* talk through it and agree it'd be worth ending contact because of it. They'd know why and my reasons; the cold turkey approach is something that has damaged me in more ways than one, so I especially would never do it to others, especially someone I care for, or god forbid, LOVE.

I also want to help you with your questions, even if might be outdated now, because others might also still have them:
"How often should I....?"

There is no set definite rule to dating someone. Talk as often as you guys feel you want to. If you feel so attached to someone you can't wait to talk to them more, do it. And if you find they appreciate it, enjoy, or can even match you (!), just see where it goes naturally.
Nothing will kill a would-be relationship faster, I find, is trying to adhere to set 'rules' you've heard from someone else, trying to play hard to get (IE, deprive them, even if you yourself are begging for more too), or even applying what worked for your last one to a current one.


I'm a motor-mouth, a flame that never stops burning; I can be overwhelming, and I've never met anyone who came close to actually MATCHING me, but they never got sick of annoyed by me. They appreciated that I had that kind of passion, and it's what drew them to me as friends or more. I never would've made the connection if I tried to play it 'cool' or aloof (IE, thinking what a woman would WANT to hear), instead of just being me. To find someone who would react to the essence of who I really am is how you find those you click with most.

I think the thing to remember is, if you literally are asking yourself these questions "How DO I talk to them?", someone you thought you were actually close with, honestly.... maybe the chemistry really isn't that great to begin with.
Anything I've ever had to force myself to do, it turns out I shouldn't have been doing in the first place. Nor have I ever asked myself how to talk with someone I was close with, especially in a relationship.
Can you elaborate more on the part of "as a couple" too? Does this mean you're viewing him more as your old ball and chain and not just someone you like being around with so much, you fell in love with?

That I feel is your biggest problem, and why most relationships don't last; they view them separately from friendship, like your girlfriend or anyone can't also be your best friend. I don't know about you, but my best friend is someone who I can always talk with, share anything, and to have that as the person you love, yeah, that problem rarely rears its ugly head.


As for the Valentine's Day question, I don't know you or who the people you were with were, but it could be any number of reasons; but I feel the fact you guys didn't bring it up at all "Ahem, it's Valentine's Day.... are we going to do.... anything?" or something akin to that is the worst problem.
Whether that answer is yes or no, due to whatever reason, just the fact you asked clearly shows you acknowledged it, pondered it, maybe even WANT to if they do, etc.....
So the problem wasn't be too busy, it was the failure to bring it up at all.


Honestly, with everything I've analyzed here, I probably wouldn't be having sex with someone like this, for fear that might be the only thing even keeping it together, which will get old eventually, etc....


Your posts are always so engrossing, I know this is old and probably not relevant anymore, but I get stirred up to really want to write something of meaning when I read great content like this, and I wish the whole forum was still full of new posts like this, honestly.
And hopefully it can help someone, even if it's too late for your problem!
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