Lonely because of feeling different from everyone else

I don't really know hw to start because my mind is in such a complete mess. Well here goes, anyway. I have been lonely for about 2 years now before I started joining this site. People say that the teenage years is the best time in one's life but I feel the total opposite, they were the worst of times for me.

Somehow, I can't fit in with anyone, you know. I have always been a tomboy and I am very rough in my mannerisms., although I am very direct and honest. People have also said I look handsome rather than pretty, (wry smile). WhenI was younger, my best friends were both boys, and I shared them with my twin brother. I can't seem to talk to girls because I don't quite understand them and their interests. Alas, growing up, both of my best friends grew distant from me and made friends with the other boys, which I understand, which boy can be best friends with a girl during teenage times? So I am left with no friends at all.

The funny thing is that I just can't seem to talk to girls. How pathetic isn't it? When I am a girl too. I always feel inferior when I want to approach them to be friends with them. I would think they are secretly ridiculing me for my mannerisms and boyishness. The real problem is that I am somewhere in the middle, you know too boyish for a girl's liking and too sensitive for a boy's liking. In truth, I consider myself very empathetic and I take great pleasure in sharing feelings with someone over life.

Because I feel so akward around everyone, I became rougher in my mannerisms. I wil swing from being stuck up at times and incredibly silly and uncouth. Nobody knows the real me, not even my family. I felt that I had completely messed up my life in secondary school. I also have another problem, I don't share the same interests with anyone in my school. I like talking about life and its subtler shades and I read books that dwell on life like books from Mitch Albom. Being raised up mostly by my grandparents, I listen to songs from the 70s and 80s. I feel horribly isolated and alienated from knowing no one I can relate with.i view myself as weird and overly sentimental and philosophical, whereas others around me just joke and gossip all the time, they can't keep up or understand my thoughts.

I am so depressed and I feel horribly empty inside. I have grown to be angry and sullen and my self esteem is plunging down. It's begun to affect other parts of my life, especially my academics which I have always done well in, and for that I worry. I can't concentrate on anything and I just brood all day. I can't give and care about others anymore because I am so empty and deadened inside. What has become of me? Is there anybody here who can relate with anything I am going through? Or is there anybody like me? If there is, please can I be friends with you? For it's horrible thinking I am the only one. Above all, can someone help me by giving tips on how to make friends with other girls? Please... I feel so desperate.

The teenage years are rough, especially when you are trying to figure out and find your place in this crazy world. Seems like what you need to do first if figure out who you are and who you want to be. You won't be able to make any real friends if all you do is put on different faces.

It's hard feeling like you don't fit in.

I don't know how old you are but if you aren't in college yet you should try going away to college in living in a dorm. It's a great way to make new friends at that age.

I couldn't make any real friends through all four years of high school then as soon as I moved away and went to college I had a ton of friends and found people I fit in with.

I find it's hard for girls to make friend with other girls in general though, all the girls I know are so catty with their friends and gossip about them all the time. I'm sure it's not because of the way you are, it's just the way girls can be in general unless you find some down to earth ones.

Yeah, I agree that some of the girls are of the gossipy type but not all. And the ones that aren't are too refined and well behaved, they really make me seem awkward in approaching them since I'm rather rough. If only they can see through my roughness and awkwardness and be interested in making friends with me, I would be content. But now, I think I am somewhat a freak..*sigh*

At times I can't help but laugh at my situation, it seems so pathetic, ahhh....

Hi Whimsical, I totally agree, teenage years can be the worst years of one's life. You don't sound pathetic at all You must find some other girls more like you, at school sometimes one is thrown in the same class with people who have zero common points. And I am sure that there are plenty of girls more into books and philosophy than into makeup and gossip, only maybe not at your school. With these premises, you most probably will have a lot of fun at college! I hope you find friends in this forum.

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PS songs from the 70s are the best!

I can safely say for the most part I hated every single year of my teens. My self esteem plummeted drastically from around 12 onwards and I've never been more miserable than in the last 2-3 years of my teens. I'm 19, nearly 20, I'm hoping my 20s will end up being better for me. You're not alone in how you feel.