It's been a while, guys.

Well, I've recently got out of two year long relationship, and in the process lost my comfort, my support, my best friend, and my companion. And Honestly, now I'm scared shitless about everything in my life. I'm not a senior, and have to choose a college and some sort of pathway to follow soon here, and I have no clue what I want in life any more. Part of me just wants to go into the woods and be alone, forever, where I can't be hurt anymore, where I don't need to worry. But well, that isn't very feasable, now is it? I can't do this anymore, it's miserable. I hate most of the people I'm with at school, most of them are ******* twats (trust me, I've been stuck with them for years). I want to get out of here (New England) but at the same time, I want to be anywhere else! It's literally the worst thing I've ever experienced. I'm a B+/A student, and I have tons of opportunities ahead of me, but honestly, none of them appeal to me, in the slightest. None of my passions hold me anymore, I can't find any peace in nature like I used to be able to, sleep yields me no relief at all (when I can even sleep that is). I don't know about anything anymore.

Welcome to the " Planet of the Apes "

Hey Androlak, I'm sorry to hear about your break up. That's a bummer.

It sounds like that's probably a huge part of the reason why you don't see meaning in the things you do anymore or scared because you're alone now? When I had my first break up.. I felt the same way, scared to do anything and felt like there was no meaning in life really. But it was later when I changed my thinking that being alone means I can do whatever I wanted and however I wanted to with my life.... the freedom (because I wasn't able to with that relationship at the time). Try to find positive things that you can focus on, either from the relationship, or from your current situation. You're looking at a lot of negatives.

You say you have lots of opportunities ahead. Maybe you don't see the appeal because you're hurting. Well, take some time out to take a break and recover a little, before you try to get your life back on track. Life moves on.. no matter how painful experiences are along the way.

That's the thing though, I don't necessarily think it's because of the loss of the relationship. A big part of it is that I lost my support, and my best friend, but I think that this was kind of coming anyways, and that this kind of extenuated that. Before I had a plan, and now that it's gone, well honeysuckle, I'm scrambling to put another one together in time for me the graduate. What I'm really scared of is that this will becoming a repeating pattern in my life. Nothing seems constant, and granted, life IS change, in it's very nature, I don't like that. I want something to stay the same for once, something I can rely on. One of my biggest fears it that I'll get the hell out of here, and end up somewhere else in the same situation. That no matter what I do, I won't find what truly satisfies me. Because in all actuality, I know what I want. I'm just afraid that it won't be what I want and what will satisfy me ten, fifteen, twenty years down the road.

Adrolak said:

Nothing seems constant, and granted, life IS change, in it's very nature, I don't like that. I want something to stay the same for once, something I can rely on.

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Unfortunately though, in life, we can't usually have what we want.

Adrolak said:

One of my biggest fears it that I'll get the hell out of here, and end up somewhere else in the same situation. That no matter what I do, I won't find what truly satisfies me. Because in all actuality, I know what I want. I'm just afraid that it won't be what I want and what will satisfy me ten, fifteen, twenty years down the road.

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Well, you will never know now, will you?

Unless you take that step and give it a shot. If you take a risk, and end up in a situation that you don't want, isn't it how it always works... you try to find solutions. Problems come up in life all the time, it's unpredictable, but you try to find solutions.

I think it's pretty normal to face a lot of uncertainty about the future and what you want to do at your age. To me it seems like you're dealing with it in a fairly positive light, i.e., trying to come up with a plan. The situation might not be comforting, but there's really no plan you can make that won't be altered by 15 or 20 years. I'd say that the most valuable lesson life has ever taught me is that what you aim for isn't nearly as important as simply aiming for something, anything, and going for it. Granted, you want a challenging and rewarding goal, and it sounds like you won't have any trouble finding that, but the vital element here is to simply avoid standing still for too long. Avoid stagnation.

I agree with LadyF that a short break from trying to plan the rest of your life might do you some good. As far as I know you're healthy and young; you have a lot of wiggle room right now. You don't have to know what you want to do for the rest of your life the second you graduate. Most people these days have multiple careers in their lifetime. My sister's boyfriend, for example, at 40, has decided that he doesn't want to be a lawyer anymore and is studying for the MCAT. Another good example comes from the people I've met in trade school; the majority of them are on their second career or have already earned a degree in a completely unrelated field. Maybe you should just spend some time being alone with nature, it might help you reconnect with what you're passionate about, I don't know. Maybe just find a summer job and save up some cash.

You said it yourself: life IS change. Certainty is an illusion, and a highly overrated one at that. People change. They outgrow one another. They move through different social circles. Events occur that alter their lives forever. It's scary and sometimes heartbreaking, but it's inevitable. All any of us can do is try to accomplish what's best for us today, one small decision at a time.

My final piece of advice is to take the time to look around and remember what you have to be grateful for. I'm sure I'm not the only person to say to you, or at least think at you, that if uncertainty about a career path and the ending of a high school relationship are the most upsetting things that have happened to you in life, or even lately, consider yourself among the privileged. From what I see, you have an awesome life ahead of you Adro, try to enjoy it.

^ Yes what Bob said.

ladyforsaken said:

Hey Androlak, I'm sorry to hear about your break up. That's a bummer.

It sounds like that's probably a huge part of the reason why you don't see meaning in the things you do anymore or scared because you're alone now? When I had my first break up.. I felt the same way, scared to do anything and felt like there was no meaning in life really. But it was later when I changed my thinking that being alone means I can do whatever I wanted and however I wanted to with my life.... the freedom (because I wasn't able to with that relationship at the time). Try to find positive things that you can focus on, either from the relationship, or from your current situation. You're looking at a lot of negatives.

You say you have lots of opportunities ahead. Maybe you don't see the appeal because you're hurting. Well, take some time out to take a break and recover a little, before you try to get your life back on track. Life moves on.. no matter how painful experiences are along the way.

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what she said