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34 alone, no family and no friends
#1
As an 34 year old male living alone with no friends or family and the people I meet everyday are rude and unfriendly to me.
I have no one to love or love me back, no family to hug me and no friends to hang out with, what's to become of me?
I envy people who have families waiting for them when they get home. I feel so different than everyone else as if i'm on an alien planet! Will i turn insane?
Are there people known who have been all alone and unloved who turn out to grow old and still sane and healthy? Please don't try to lift me up with pretty lies, i want cold truth"
It tastes like piss to me but want to drink alcohol every day so i don't feel fear anymore.
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#2
What do you mean people are "rude and unfriendly" to you? In what what are they rude? At this point you need to take a LONG look in the mirror. How do you look? Do you look well kept? Are you sending off some 'off putting" vibe? Strangers always will seem strange until you get to know them.

Look, you have to decide that your life is what you make it. Staying home and drinking is only going to make you feel worse. Do you have any interests in anything? Do you like to cook, exercise, or do other activities? There are any number of civic clubs you could join. But, when you join you have to at first PRETEND to be excited about whatever it is you are joining. Fake it. Then just try to allow yourself to really get into it and you will find that you enjoy doing some of those activities.
Insanity is doing the same thing expecting a different result. Staying home and doing what you are doing now isn't working. Why not keep trying to move ahead? Yes, it is difficult. We all feel rejection. But, if you get out and ALLOW yourself to just relax, don't pressure people, enjoy the company while you have it whatever activity. And, realize MOST of the people you meet are just people you will interact with for a brief period, and that's ok. But, if you stick with it you might start feeling better.
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#3
I unfortinatly believe this is where I am headed as well. I am living on my own but I am 10 years younger than you, yes I am young but I put to much trust into people that don't care about me and it gets me no where but hurt. I had an idea when I graduated high school that I wanted to get a job I would love, find a girl who loved me as much as I love her and have children and grow old together. I haven't achieved any of that and everyday I find myself slipping farther behind what is considered attractive to women, I can't stay up to date on all the latest fashion and electronic trends and now all I am is just an outsider with no friends or family in a strange place I know little about. A year ago I would wake up thinking how thankful I was for everything I had, now I wake up think about what has become of my life and before I cry I tell myself I have to suck it up and go out and live another day that I know will end the same as has everyday and start the next day feeling how I felt the day before.

I know in the grand scheme of things 24 and 34 is still young enough to have a family but when you have no one there to talk to you or help you through your day to day struggles it wares you down.
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#4
I feel this is a personal choice based on activities and attitude. If you're too alone, get out there in the public, be very friendly, make sure you're presentable in decent clothing, go volunteer at places like an animal shelter where you'd meet all kinds of people from all walks of life, etc. Put yourself out there and never stop being a "joiner". You will eventually run into someone else as a possible mate if your proactive and help yourself. I know we're all here because we need someone to talk to so we all have some issues, but I do have a little wiggle room to talk because my loneliness is based on nothing more than a husband who doesn't pay enough attention to me because we've been together for nearly 18 years now. Our life is boring because we're raising children right now and we can't get out and do much. Otherwise I'm surrounded by people but I feel I can't talk to them about this. So my problem is a little different.
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#5
Hello Hawx79, it is very painful to come home every day to an empty house while many others go home to loved ones. And although it would be a good idea for you to go out more and to try different activities where you can meet people as some others have suggested, at the same time this can demand a level of energy and commitment which can be hard to find when you are so lonely. But if you set a low goal of maybe going to one social event a month at first, then hopefully eventually you will find a few friends.
Have you tried online dating?
You asked for 'cold truth.' I'm 20 years older than you and am still on my own and, to be honest, the loneliness doesn't get any easier as you get older. In some ways it gets worse as you feel your chances of meeting someone are decreasing all the time and there are more empty years to look back on.
On the plus side (not wanting to sound morbid, just practical) you know you have fewer years ahead of you than you did 20 or 30 years ago, so if you don't meet anyone, there are fewer years left to come to be lonely in.
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#6
All my family is dead too....
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#7
we are the same expect i am 20 and i have a little family but they will be gone soon i know how it feels to have no friends to pass a whole day with no one to speak to . welcome to the site btw i am new too i am sure there are too many people like us around here so come here often i really dont have any advice because i am in the same situation as you good luck bro.
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#8
Tomorrow, things may change. That's what you need to remember. Things do change, and sometimes for the better.
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi
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#9
I'm 34. Only 2 family members left now and I have no friends outside of work. What you've encountered, generally contempt, people being closed off etc. is part of a systemic problem in society, but I'm only going to get in trouble for elaborating.

The only place people feel they belong now are in exclusive cliques of friends from school or college, or groups with some shared political outlook. Like for example if you were a vegan lesbian who was interested destabilising the capitalist/patriarchal system you might join a group of like-minded individuals and make friends that way. Generally, getting to know others can be very hard if you don't already have established social contacts. It's not an excuse to do nothing, just a way of putting it in perspective (and give yourself a break.)
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#10
Where the hell did you get a vegan lesbian from? Just wondering.

Anyway, there are always interest groups. When I was into board games, I joined a group for that and went to a few coffeehouses. I think there is always something you can do to increase your social circle.
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi
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