Bebeskii
Well-known member
I really don't understand someone like me never gets a chance to have friends. People in my country think only weird weak ones get lonely. I'm physically weak, but I'm the one who always help, give advice and show great politeness to my classmates at school. I just get used up by them, then they just exclude me, leaving me left out. All i feel is deep emptiness and loneliness. I don't know how splendid it is to have a fun. I never have a fun with others. I desperately want it. Even today some of my classmates were staring at me after i said to my desk partner " Please give me a warm hug"- maybe bit unexpectedly. I didn't mean any gay stuff. I know that my classmate boys hug each other, jump on each other, having fun all the time- me just there sitting alone staring and daydreaming. Generally I'm close with girls even there's a girl who calls me "sweet cute adorable etc". I just want to have some true male friends. All i wanted was warm relaxing bromances with nice guys; not gay sex or kissing I swear. My therapist suspected that i might be gay. Gay people are different I'm just very childish but too mentally mature for my age. Will everything get better If i go to Australia and study in a top university.