How do you talk to girls you like? When I have such low self esteem?

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newguy

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I have really low self esteem, I feel so weird and freakish. I am short, small hands, small penis, I look like a child, I have low testosterone, deformed knees, I have depression, anxiety, disturbing sexual intrusive thoughts (OCD symptom).

I feel really unworthy of being with a girl in a romantic relationship especially a sexual one. After my religious services I always tell myself I am going to talk to one of the women there, never can, and if I do I act like a dork and it's always really awkward. I think most women view me like a teddy bear or a cartoon character. I think most view just as a "nice guy" but I don't think any view me as attractive.
 
newguy said:
I have really low self esteem, I feel so weird and freakish. I am short, small hands, small penis, I look like a child, I have low testosterone, deformed knees, I have depression, anxiety, disturbing sexual intrusive thoughts (OCD symptom).

I feel really unworthy of being with a girl in a romantic relationship especially a sexual one. After my religious services I always tell myself I am going to talk to one of the women there, never can, and if I do I act like a dork and it's always really awkward. I think most women view me like a teddy bear or a cartoon character. I think most view just as a "nice guy" but I don't think any view me as attractive.

All sorts of women out there, all with different tastes in men. One might find you attractive, you have to be lucky though to meet her.
 
It doesn't matter what the hell you look like, if you meet the right person all that you think is bad can actually go for you. The only reason everyone thinks of this warped version of reality where pretty people only go for pretty people is from the TV, Newspapers, Magazines, stupid dating programs, and ignorant or shallow people.

When I was younger I thought about certain stuff about me was horrific and un-natural, but I soon learned that people don't give a honeysuckle about stuff like that, these are decent, real people who aren't blinded by this twisted world that we're led to believe.
 
Easier said than done, but talk to them like they're a person. Just a normal person who you're not overly interested in.
 
If you like one of the women, then surely you've spoken with her before? Or do you just mean she's pretty or she seems nice? Whatever the case may be, I agree with jzinksy. It's best to just remember that the object of your attention is a human being. She'll appreciate being treated with courtesy and kindness.
 
Protip: What ever you do, don't think the following as an encouragement. "Calm down, she's just a person. She puts her pants on one leg at a time just like I do"

I started picturing it, and that girl was suddenly stood there in just her pants. Needless to say that conversation didn't go down well, but on the bright side I was young and fit enough to run away!
 
I can't tell you how many couples I know where the man is a much shorter guy than the woman he's with. I know several like that. The difference is only that they didn't let that stop them from trying and didn't feel so bad about themselves that they couldn't talk to a woman. It's all about personality and confidence. I was really cute in high school and one of my first crushes was this little short guy who was adorable but so funny and he could play the drums so well. I was taller than him. Well actually everyone was taller than him. I recently saw him on TV. I was completely shocked. He's still short, but stocky and he's a state police officer in a larger city a few hours from where I live. The only difference between him and you is confidence. He believed in himself and went for everything he wanted. I hear he has a beautiful wife, too. You can't get so down on yourself about what you perceive as your faults. Everyone has some, including people you wouldn't know by looking at them.
 
Well I'm sure there are girls that will over look height but for my other problems like my depression and especially my small penis I know I'm screwed.
 
Ok you need to get over the penis thing. A friend of mine was dating a guy with the same problem but she was crazy about him anyway. They found ways to work around that. The guy was so special to her that she didn't care enough to worry about something so insignificant. You guys seem to think that matters to us so much more than it actually does. It matters to YOU. You're the one with issues over it. You're far too hard on yourself about everything. Let me say this once more...confidence is what matters most especially in the beginning when you meet someone. Nice, confident, good-natured and joking around with them wins the woman. Not penis size or how tall you are. My uncle was the shortest little dude but so very nice and helpful. Everyone just loved him and he had the biggest funeral I have ever seen in my entire life when he died. Everyone loved him and showed up. The line of cars was so long they need police to help direct traffic in the city. And yes, he was married for a very long time up until he died.
 
I guess not all women care after all. I hope I can find a woman who doesn't care about my small penis. I've hated myself for a long time and it will take a while before I can get over this. I think my penis insecurity are the worst out of all of my insecurity. But I'm working hard to overcome it.
 
I'm taller, about 5'11", and I can tell you that it's not easier being taller. Being skinny-ish and nerdy, most women treat me the same...as a teddy bear.

But all women are different, and you might find someone who will like you as you are.

And as far as the penis issue goes, a lot of women care more about girth than length.
 
It's also pretty fun to slap your penis across the drinking glasses before your girlfriend comes over to visit. Then when she takes a drink and wonders why you're grinning, you say you're just glad she's here. But you know why you're really smiling.

Yeah...
 
I'm low on girth as well so the women care more about girth than length, doesn't help much lol. I feel so inadequate.
 
You've got to get off of your penis size. Do you realize you have mentioned it in every single one of your posts in this thread so far? That seems to be the main thing out of everything you listed that bothers you the most. Until you learn to move on and just accept yourself for the way you are you won't find anyone.
 
Yeah at the moment it really bothers me. I think because I just found out about it and also lots of negative things on the internet I read.
 
Sci-Fi said:
You've got to get off of your penis size. Do you realize you have mentioned it in every single one of your posts in this thread so far? That seems to be the main thing out of everything you listed that bothers you the most. Until you learn to move on and just accept yourself for the way you are you won't find anyone.

Heh, you think THAT'S bad? Earlier, I noted that 6 of the 16 posts he'd written on the whole site mentioned his penis. I've been sitting here trying to decide if this is for real or if it's a fetish.

Seriously, newguy, if it's not a fetish thing, you have got to start actually listening to people who tell you that it's not as important to women as you're afraid it is.
 
Sci-Fi said:
You've got to get off of your penis size. Do you realize you have mentioned it in every single one of your posts in this thread so far? That seems to be the main thing out of everything you listed that bothers you the most. Until you learn to move on and just accept yourself for the way you are you won't find anyone.

Well I wasn't counting, but now that you mention it...

Seriously though it's not as if this is the ONLY TOOL you have of pleasing a woman. You could have NO sausage and STILL please a woman better than most guys.

If performance isn't your issue then you just have to find a way to be confident about what you DO have rather than comparing yourself to others, or whatever.
 
It's not at all a fetish thing at all. I am desperately trying to not hate myself and get over this. I do though have an obsessive personality and I just hate that I am this way. When I found out I was small did research on the internet and found a lot of negative materiel. And I know not all of it was just lies, a lot was the truthful opinions of women. I have also heard female friends say things. So in my mind all women care. I'm not saying it's true but what I feel. I'm sorry to talk about it but I have no where else to go to talk about these things. I felt comfortable talking about it here.
 
Don't believe everything you read on the internet. It's nothing but a wealth of negativity. A female cousin of mine once said that she doesn't understand why guys obsess so much about the size of their dick, considering how small it starts out when we are born. You've obsessed over it now it is time to put it behind you and work on the things you can change about yourself. No need to put wasted energy into something you can't change. That's the biggest mistake many of us make, we become obsessed over things we can't change yet ignore the things we can.
 
Sci-Fi said:
Don't believe everything you read on the internet. It's nothing but a wealth of negativity. A female cousin of mine once said that she doesn't understand why guys obsess so much about the size of their dick, considering how small it starts out when we are born. You've obsessed over it now it is time to put it behind you and work on the things you can change about yourself. No need to put wasted energy into something you can't change. That's the biggest mistake many of us make, we become obsessed over things we can't change yet ignore the things we can.

I agree I am trying to change. what goes through my head and stops me from not obsessing and move on is that this will stop me from having a relationship because the girl will be unsatisfied. Therefore I continue to obsesses over it, because I will be alone forever. And never find a girl that loves me the way I am. I don't know if that makes sense or not but I'm just trying to explain my thought process. I'm also not stating it as true ether.

However I am trying to change. I'm looking for a job and I just started to see a therapist. I'm not just sitting around doing nothing. I try and try but I always end feeling like a loser.
 

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