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jzinsky

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Right, I'm going to get this on here and see if anyone else can make sense of it, possibly help me straighten my trains of thought and confirm I'm being retarded!

This is possibly going to be a long post, and like I said it might not make sense so this is your warning.

All text in italic is my internal monologue, this is the first time it's ever become external (so respect and honour!)

Ok so the background here is I work in security as mobile response. You get a van and a bunch of places to lock, unlock and patrol. Given that it's all night shifts I'm often found getting coffee from various drive-ins. So this story starts there.

I ask for the coffee, I pay at the first window and move on to the second. Usually they ask "Any sugar?" and I respond with "Two please". Well this time I was asked "Two sugars isn't it?" My brain went into "wait a minute!" mode and I actually had to think.

You see I tend not to really notice people. I mean I can see people around me, heck I even see (mostly girls, but not always) people, have a good luck and think "She's cute/fine/fit/etc" and carry on with my day. No harm and it's not like I stalk anyone, but that's a tangent. Unusual conversation made me pay attention. So I focused my eyes properly and looked at the person talking to me.

H-OOOOLLLLY fresia SHE'S GORGEOUS!

I mean properly adorable, I'm tingling now just thinking about her (no not in a dirty way :club:)
She's got this lovely beaming face, and awesome light red hair, with these blonde streaks in the back, I could go on.

Well of course after that my brain went into a full-on thinking session. Does she remember because she remembers Cute Guy in the Van? Or because I'm usually the only customer they get at this time of night? Or even just because I go there far too often? Nah I don't go there THAT much. I should ask if she's been busy next time

Wait there pal, she works at McDonalds... You know the place known for hiring 16 and 17 year olds? YOU'RE 33 PAL. Well actually that's not too much of an issue, she's got to be at least 18 to be working overnight, that's the law and even Maccies won't screw with that. Well she could be 18 then? Nah doubt it she looks like management, so at least 22. Is that a problem? And the rest of the night went on like this, is an age gap a problem? Should it be? It's not for me would it be for her?

So the next day I went back round, to try and gague things. Here's my conclusions:
She really needs a name! No nametag!
Other register girls (and boys) give me a polite smile, or at the very least look like they're reasonably happy to do their job. Miss Wonderful smiles at me like "Wow it's you!"
She asks me if I'd like any sauce (when I get food) or napkins. Last time I said no to napkins but she gave me them anyway then said "Oh you didn't want any sorry *giggle*" She also tells me to "Have a good night" which most others don't.

But does that mean she's into me, or she's just awesome at her job? HOW CAN I TELL?

I should ask her things really, like does she work only nights, what time does she get off etc. Something to just slap me into being able to talk to her properly but then when I get there... Say something. Say something. SAY SOMETHING YOU TIT! like what? I DON'T KNOW SAY SOMETHING!" and then I don't :(

Well I shall end it here for now, since I don't know what else to say. Advice is welcome, any possible perspective from her side is also welcome. Anything but abuse and "man up" is welcome tbh
 
The next time she smiles at you, smile really big back at her and say "You've got the prettiest smile! You should never stop smiling." Wink and walk away with your order. Think long and hard when you go there about something positive to say or a quick question to ask her about herself. Don't go there every single day or it'll be stalk-ish and possibly desperate looking. Invest in a good cologne and don't wear it too heavy. Make sure you're well groomed and your breath smells good just in case it hits her. Good breath is a must, I always used to chew gum either cinnamon or mint just in case. Just don't chomp on it while talking :)
 
So if you know yourself well enough to know that you really don't think you can say something no matter how much will power you apply, there is another option. You could write a short note, telling her you would like to get to know her better. But you didn't want to put her on the spot while at work. Tell her how her smile brightens your night. and instead of giving her your number, include a small piece of paper and one of those little pencils, and tell her that if she is interested she can give you her number and include it with your next order.

Just an idea. Best of luck. :)
 
Genius!

Next step, get mints, work up enough courage to tell her she's got the prettiest smile.


Garbageman said:
So if you know yourself well enough to know that you really don't think you can say something no matter how much will power you apply, there is another option. You could write a short note, telling her you would like to get to know her better. But you didn't want to put her on the spot while at work. Tell her how her smile brightens your night. and instead of giving her your number, include a small piece of paper and one of those little pencils, and tell her that if she is interested she can give you her number and include it with your next order.

Just an idea. Best of luck. :)

Now that is equally genius!
 
Just a quick update, I've been swearing at myself a lot. I figured a logical next step would be to ask her name. I failed at that one.

I'll still be here for the next 45 mins, would it be wierd to walk in now and just ask hername? It'll be much easier for me to do that because it's the sole purpose of me being there.
 
jzinsky said:
would it be wierd to walk in now and just ask hername? It'll be much easier for me to do that because it's the sole purpose of me being there.

It'd be weird for me - to do it, not to be asked. I've had similar situations where I've have to ask personal questions and that honeysuckle is not comfortable for me. If you can, you definitely should. :)
 
I have been a similar situation so many times.
Often I would plan to ask the woman out (or at least talk to her) and she wouldn't be there or somebody else would serve me. If it could go wrong it did !

But your different, I would suggest to act quickly, don't let this fester. The advantage for you is I presume if it goes wrong you could get your coffee from somebody else, you don't have to meet her again. I would write your mobile number on a card and just hand it to her. Talk a bit first, anything then hand her the card. People do it all the time, you aren't doing nothing wrong.
Good luck !
 
Ok here's the plan. I'm going to put this from her perspective (and now you, dear reader, are the lovely woman although you can swap our sexes round however you wish) so you can see what's going on and what YOU would do. Letting me know what you think will be awesome and very largely appreciated.

So there's this guy who comes round the drive through a little too often. If pressed you'd say he was average, not ugly but no George Clooney (in fact this is me, taken for a mmorpg http://i1179.photobucket.com/albums/x390/Jzinsky/4458210012707E8AB.png)

Yeah comes by a lot, always nice, polite and smiling. Then one day while paying there's a Note (capital N, paper with writing on it) folded inside the note (small N, paper money.) You'll have to notice it because you've got to unfold the note. If you ask about it now I'll just say it's for you to read later when you've got time. If you insist on reading it now I'll most likely blush, but admit it all when asked.

Here's what the note says (edit this as you wish too please):

Hi,
I'm Jzinsky (of course I'm putting my rl name instead) the guy in the security van (the logo is across the whole side, if you haven't seen it then sheesh!) I'm giving you this note instead of asking because I don't want to put you on the spot while you're working, but I'd really like to get to know you more. You have the nicest smile and it brightens my night, and I just adore your hair, especially when you have it tied up in that headband. If you'd like to talk more then write your number on here and give it back to me when I next come round.

Thanks for reading this,
Jz


I won't be back the next night, but I will be back as soon as I can after that.

If you don't give me a number or a no after the second time I'll ask if you've read it (and don't pretend you've lost it!)

Should you say no, that's cool.



Or on the other hand what do you think of the simple "handing over my number with the money" method Triple Bogey's suggested? Would YOU rather that or the message?
 
I'm thinking developing a crush on a girl in McDonalds is a one way ticket to weight gain! :)

If I was a betting man, I would put money on the fact that she remembered you take two sugars means nothing. I've served in bars and I remember what they drink, its something you do with regulars, its part of the job. She may also be attached, she may not be interested. I don't mean to be negative, I just think you should be prepared to be let down, thats the most likely outcome. By all means give it a shot, just expect the outcome to be you get turned down. On the flip side remember that there is no law against asking someone on a date, it should be taken as a compliment and if nothing else you should be proud of yourself for taking the chance, even if it turns out to be a no. You may have to then face her again in future so consider that too.

Regards the note, I think a nice smile is fair enough but dont over do it. You've never had a proper conversation with her and while it might be nice to think that someone has noticed you, it can quickly get a bit creepy if they become too specific. Its a casual request and even if you can't get her out of your mind, she doesn't need to know that in too much detail.

"If you don't give me a number or a no after the second time I'll ask if you've read it (and don't pretend you've lost it!)"

I'm also not keen on that line, it seems demanding, personally I think if you don't get a response you should respect that and not make her say anyything, the note thing from a stranger in a van is already something that could be unnerving, especially if she has to make her own way home.

I'm all for saying go for it, I just can't see being passed a note at a fast food drive in as being the best way to go. I think if you want to ask her then ask her to her face. Its fairer to her because she will be able to see who you are, mean her no malice and that you are willing to accept a potential refusal graciously. You can then just flash her a smile and say, "sorry had to ask!" and know either way there and then. Better all round in my view.
 
I think you should take it slower than that and build up to this. If a man did this to me at this point, my instinct would be to back off and feel unsure because it's too soon and not enough rapport had been built to say this much before you even knew my name. Get my point? You need to start small and actually lightly flirt with her awhile before you jump into this. This is too much too soon in my opinion. You're laying all your cards on the table and making yourself vulnerable to rejection. And this soon could really lead to that because like I said you haven't done enough to warrant this much action and it'll be a shock to her. You have to lay the foundation for a big reveal like this.
 
So long as he was nice enough, I'd really like getting this note whether I liked him back or not. It's quiet - doesn't put any attention on her while still being rather a big gesture - putting your feelings down in writing, that's a lot these days. If she has any sentimentality at all, she'll likely keep it forever and show her kids someday, whoever their father is.

So yeah I respectfully disagree with them ^
 
Yeah I really just think that he's putting too much down on paper and that's what I meant. It's too much information too soon with so new an acquaintance.
 
Fair enough I see your point. You're thinking I should talk to her a little first? I'm sure I can manage the classic "How are you today?" and "Been busy?"
 
Lippy_Kid said:
I'm thinking developing a crush on a girl in McDonalds is a one way ticket to weight gain! :)

If I was a betting man, I would put money on the fact that she remembered you take two sugars means nothing. I've served in bars and I remember what they drink, its something you do with regulars, its part of the job. She may also be attached, she may not be interested. I don't mean to be negative, I just think you should be prepared to be let down, thats the most likely outcome. By all means give it a shot, just expect the outcome to be you get turned down. On the flip side remember that there is no law against asking someone on a date, it should be taken as a compliment and if nothing else you should be proud of yourself for taking the chance, even if it turns out to be a no. You may have to then face her again in future so consider that too.

Regards the note, I think a nice smile is fair enough but dont over do it. You've never had a proper conversation with her and while it might be nice to think that someone has noticed you, it can quickly get a bit creepy if they become too specific. Its a casual request and even if you can't get her out of your mind, she doesn't need to know that in too much detail.

"If you don't give me a number or a no after the second time I'll ask if you've read it (and don't pretend you've lost it!)"

I'm also not keen on that line, it seems demanding, personally I think if you don't get a response you should respect that and not make her say anyything, the note thing from a stranger in a van is already something that could be unnerving, especially if she has to make her own way home.

I'm all for saying go for it, I just can't see being passed a note at a fast food drive in as being the best way to go. I think if you want to ask her then ask her to her face. Its fairer to her because she will be able to see who you are, mean her no malice and that you are willing to accept a potential refusal graciously. You can then just flash her a smile and say, "sorry had to ask!" and know either way there and then. Better all round in my view.

good advice. I work in retail and I smile at basically every woman I serve and I remember stuff too. I haven't got a crush on any of them. It's just customer service. But if he likes her then give it a go, it can't hurt.
 
Yeah I had considered that notion, however on more than a few occasions she's looked genuinely pleased to see me imho. It might be nothing, might be something. I'm fully prepared for failure, although just having a "game plan" and carrying it out is a win to me
 
I would seriously try talking to her, if it's not busy when you're in. Ask her how her shift is going, even something mundane about the weather is better than nothing. Do this each time you go in, build rapport, so eventually you'll just start making conversation together normally, then I'd probably ask her out.

If I was a girl working the night shift and some dude either slipped me a note or asked me out or for my number and I hadn't really spoken to him before I'd probably decline and be frightened. A) because you don't know them B) I'd think they were only interested in me for my looks C) think they were lazy because they hadn't even bothered getting to know me first.

Just my thoughts ;)
 
jzinsky said:
Yeah I had considered that notion, however on more than a few occasions she's looked genuinely pleased to see me imho. It might be nothing, might be something. I'm fully prepared for failure, although just having a "game plan" and carrying it out is a win to me

do it quickly and don't over think the situation or your going to be very nervous.

I have seen all sorts in my shop over the years. This guy walked in with a bunch of flowers once and handed them to this woman. She didn't like him so he didn't get a date. This other guy rang a woman worker up to ask her out. She hardly knew him but of course the little bits of chat between them were considered to be conversations to him. I felt sorry for him because he died a death on the phone.

I remember over 20 years I had this crush on this lass who worked in a post office. I would walk in every opportunity I had and she would smirk at me and look at other staff and laugh. I saw this but chose to ignore it. After several aborted attempts to ask her out, I finally did, just stopped her in the street and asked her. Of course she said 'no' but she didn't tell me to f**k off or anything. Why I put myself thru I don't know ?

Anyway I hope you have more luck ! :)
 
Yeah I shall work up to it and see how things progress. I'm on my days off now so I won't have any update until about friday
 

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