Porn addiction

First a little background info on me:

I'm 43, never been married, no kids, never had an ltr either. I've only had a few very short term encounters with women. Also, I don't currently work.

So I guess it's not too surprising that I would focus on internet porn to relieve the boredom and frustration I feel about my lack of success with women. On the plus side(I suppose)I have the libido of a guy 20 years younger than me. People always say it tapers off but I haven't noticed it that much yet. Maybe that could partly be because I have mpb. I'm not sure.

Anyway, I am trying to get out of this but when I find myself becoming bored(which is much of the time)I often do the porn thing. I won't go into any more details than that.

I'm wondering if anyone on here has the same addiction and how do you deal with it? I can't imagine any females having this issue although I suppose it's possible.

I am a female so not sure i could advise you. But have you considered that watching this has set up unrealistic expectations in your mind in terms of women? And that the fantasy is keeping you from having the reality? Yeah, real life can be boring. And, real people have bad breath, body odor, less than perfect bodies and so forth. Is the price you are paying to continue the fantasy worth the price you are paying in terms of your real life? I guess that is the question i would ask myself.

That really explains allot, and why I have you on my ignore list Lady...( That term used loosely )

Alienated said:

That really explains allot, and why I have you on my ignore list Lady...( That term used loosely )

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That's a direct personal insult. Cut it out.

EDIT: Also, if you are going to place someone on ignore, leave them on ignore and don't randomly respond to some of their comments and then tell them you have them on ignore. That defeats the purpose of ignoring someone.

Alienated said:

That really explains allot, and why I have you on my ignore list Lady...( That term used loosely )

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Yeah that's a honeysuckle comment, he's asking for help for an addiction. I ******* hate the use of an ignore list as if it's something people need to try to get off, ignore works two ways, if you want to ignore him fine, don't then feel you have the right to un-ignore him to comment on his problems.

Anyways... porn addiction... First of all why do you suppose you are addicted? Do you not want to look at it at all or do you want to cut down. I understand it may be uncomfortable to talk about but you'd need to clarify the impact it is having at least.

I'm sorry. What is the problem? I am sincerely trying to offer good advice. It wasn't for you. Let the OP decide to take it or leave it. Sheesh.

I'll cut it out.

...wow.

What???

Porn is awesome, I see it as a saving grace, not a hindrance. You should totally watch more.

Limlim said:

Porn is awesome, I see it as a saving grace, not a hindrance. You should totally watch more.

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:club: Lim - he's being serious here. And don't say so are you cuz I WILL club you. (Un)

I can't watch anymore. LOL. I mean I could but I already watch enough as it is. LOL.

As for LGS comments(the first person who responded)no she wasn't very helpful and she almost seems to imply that guys on here can only get unattractive women with body odor and bad breath. LOL. However, like everyone else she is entitled to her opinion even though they might be a bit off.

Guys don't watch porn because they somehow think they can get women who look like porn stars for one thing. Not all porn stars are perfect tens anyway. If they were many of them would be in Playboy instead(although come to think of it not all centerfolds are perfect tens imo although many if not most are). We are watching porn for the sex not because we think they are substitutes for real girls. It's just that sometimes it's easy to just look at porn than to deal with going out and trying to pick up a real woman(regardless of what she looks like). It's basically an escape. I do go out sometimes and try to meet real women but usually I don't get anywhere with that so I have to have an alternative and so porn satisfies that desire although I admit I often over do it and that's what this post is about.

Hey Mike, now you know why I sent you a PM, and not on open forum. There are something's that some just can't resist...

hello Mike,

reading your post im thinking porn is not the real issue. when u say you overdo porn, what does that mean?

it strikes me that the real problem is everything you describe before talking about porn. for example, if u did work and were in a ltr would the issue still be there?

just my thoughts Mike

"As for LGS comments(the first person who responded)no she wasn't very helpful and she almost seems to imply that guys on here can only get unattractive women with body odor and bad breath. LOL. However, like everyone else she is entitled to her opinion even though they might be a bit off."

No no, you took that wrong lol. She meant that the girls on pornos are no where near what most women look like. It sets up false expectations that real everyday women can't compete with.

To get out of the hot topic...

I don't think porn is unreasonable, as long as you view it as fantasy. The way I look at women when I'm in the "porn mood", and when I'm actually around real girls (no matter if they look like porn stars or not), is that difference. Women generally aren't sexually aggressive in the way that porn insinuates. Yes, they can be sexually aggressive, but most don't just give it up. They want a relationship instead of just sex. And some of the acts in mainstream porn are not only uncomfortable for women, or something that they wouldn't be into, but are pretty **** humiliating as well.

Porn is one-dimensional, because it shows the sex factor, but it doesn't show the things about a relationship that can be sexy, too. Like her smile, her laugh, the jokes she tells or the way she smells when she puts on your favorite perfume. It doesn't have the touch factor, either...it's all strictly inside your head (well, both of them.)

As long as you treat it as something like erotica, and not as something that a woman would be into doing for real, you're better off. There are women out there like that, but they're not relationship material.

I hope this makes sense, because it's coming from an almost 31 year old virgin with no prior relationship experience. But that was how I was raised, and how I view porn.

Just thought I would add something edgewise... There's something called amateur porn, which is not extremely unrealistic. I am not suggesting the OP should watch more porn. I am merely saying the idea that ALL porn is a distortion, is not completely true.

About the porn addiction.. seek treatment.

The best thing that can help you out is to get busy with other things.. You imagine it while you are idle and bored... So address that issue first. Do not get bored! ^^ also... When you are at a point on deciding whether to watch or not... I know the urge to watch is very very strong, breathe first then take a moment and imagine what you usually feel after you watch it and done.. You know... Try to focus on that feeling...maybe guilt mixed with self disappointment, self pity, and self hate and then decide if you are ok with the consequence of a moment's pleasure.

everybodies said:

hello Mike,

reading your post im thinking porn is not the real issue. when u say you overdo porn, what does that mean?

it strikes me that the real problem is everything you describe before talking about porn. for example, if u did work and were in a ltr would the issue still be there?

just my thoughts Mike

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No probably not. The issue isn't necessarily the porn in and of itself. I realize that. I simply have too much time on my hands. I also have a tendency to eat too much and indulge in food which is why I have a difficult time losing weight.

I am trying to change my life and my circumstances. I won't go into all the details here but it's a struggle for me. I am not using the porn as an excuse for anything. I think to at least some degree it's a byproduct of my unproductive and struggling life.

Moderation is key here ... try not to over do it!!

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Moderation is the silken string running through the pearl chain of all virtues ~ Joseph Hall